(Closed) Guilt over breastfeeding

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

oh honeyi commented on your other thread but PLEASE know you’re doing the best you can. you can’t beat yourself up over it or you’ll end up missing out on so much in this precious time. I have no advice but know i’m thinking about and praying for you!

Post # 4
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Are you opposed to strictly pumping and bottle feeding?

My friend’s son is two months old and will no longer nurse, so she is pumping and bottle feeding him.

Post # 5
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I went through similar issues. My daughter for the first 8 weeks of life screamed non stop. Every single thing I ate would affect my milk and give her horrible reflux until I was basically living on soup, crackers, water. She was constantly hungry and miserable. I’d just feed her and cry, I was so exhausted and stressed out. Then I got mastitis (infection caused by a clogged milk duct) and it was horribly painful. Despite all that I did stick with it because she wouldn’t take a bottle. But I did give her rice cereal through a syringe to thicken up her meals and supplement what I was providing. That allowed me to buy some time in between feedings so I could build up a supply again and SLEEP!

I think moms need to be happy and healthy first and foremost. Because if mom is miserable, baby is too. When it comes to breastfeeding I guess I would say try your best. If you hate it, quit. It might be an unpopular opinion but that’s how I feel about it. If you stick with it you might end up liking it, but either way you need to do what is best for everyone in the family and that includes you!

Post # 6
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@KatyElle:  + 1 YES!!!!


I think moms need to be happy and healthy first and foremost. Because if mom is miserable, baby is too. When it comes to breastfeeding I guess I would say try your best. If you hate it, quit. It might be an unpopular opinion but that’s how I feel about it. If you stick with it you might end up liking it, but either way you need to do what is best for everyone in the family and that includes you!

Post # 7
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Breastfeeding is not the golden ticket to a perfect healthy baby that everyone proclaims it to be. The health/sanity of the mother, and the ability to provide well rounded nutrition is SO MUCH MORE important. Stop feeling guilty about this and just do what you have to do to keep your baby healthy and happy…and yourself sane. There are a million factors that go into the future health of your child…breastfeeding is but one of them!

 

Post # 8
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Another vote for strictly pumping; I exclusively pumped when BF’ing wasn’t an option (DS freaked out anytime he got near my boob, and not even the LCs could help), and while it wasn’t ideal, it certainly worked.  I would pump one breast and immediately feed it to DS while I was pumping the other; the 2nd breast’s worth would either go to DS if he was still hungry or got put in the fridge/freezer for the next time.  I was also able to pump for longer time periods but less often (4 times per day for about 45 minutes each time) than if DS had been feeding himself.  In the end, you have to do what works for you both.  Your little one needs to gain some weight and you need to have peace of mind/body.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

You can do it!  It is not your fault she is not gianing weight.  Keep pumping and feeding and consulting the lactation specialist.  If you reach a point you absolutely cannot do it anymore, try for another week before giving up.  You can do it mommy!

Post # 10
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Tongue ties can be so painful for women…..horrible unrelenting nipple damage added on top to a baby that’s frustrated and hungry.  You’re in a really rough spot right now.

For now, follow the LC’s advice as best as you see fit without making yourself mental, and get her tongue clipped ASAP.  Once the clip is done, it’s like a miracle cure….your nipples will heal, your supply will go up (if it isn’t already) and she’ll be much more content after feedings.

If you prefer not to get her tongue clipped and breast feed, then PPs advice to pump and bottle feed is a good compromise if it’s important to you to give her as much milk as possible. 

Best of luck with this tough situation. Be gentle with yourself, you are doing your best for yourself and your baby and please stop feeling guilty!

Post # 11
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have not had any children but just wanted to add in my 2 cents. both my sister and myself were formula fed babies. We never had breast milk and guess what, we turned out just fine!! Do whatever works best for your litte one. Every baby is different and there is no right or wrong Method. you are not a terrible mom!

Post # 12
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Mama, don’t be hard on yourself. I didn’t have these issues, but I just wanted to say you shouldn’t beat yourself up. I’m a very firm advocate of breastfeeding, but being a happy, healthy, and well-rested mama is so important, and if this method of feeding isn’t what’s best for you and your child, it’s not.

I would encourage you to keep trying with pumping and supplementation and see what options there are to fix the tongue-tie issue, because for many women, this is an obstacle that can be dealt with and you can continue with breastfeeding.

You are NOT a terrible mom. You are doing your very best, you are seeking solutions to improve the situation and to get her weight up. You’re doing everything you should be doing. Please don’t let guilt get to you. What you feed your child is between you (and your partner, to a lesser extent) and your baby, and you need to do what is best for baby AND you. Take care of yourself!

Post # 13
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

You are a great mom who is making lots of sacrifices for her baby.  I would try to get the tongue-tie fixed ASAP and pump what you can in the meantime.  Once the tongue is fixed, then you can make your decision.

Post # 16
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I exclusively pump!! We tried for the first month working with a lactation consultant to get her to latch and it didn’t work. I never spent quality time with her like my husband did and I was so jealous. I’m not gonna lie pumping is hard and time consuming but its manageable. I know exactly how you are feeling. Its depressing and you feel like it shouldn’t be this hard, but it is, and thats not your fault. Be proud of yourself for trying so hard. I definitely advocate for exclusively pumping it gives you all most all the benefits of breast feeding. I also supplment… I’m shourt about 4 ounces a day, and I cringe everytime I smell it, but I remeber babies are formula feed all the time and they are fine. You are doing the best you can, and the best you is a non-stressed you!!! 

The topic ‘Guilt over breastfeeding’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors