Post # 1
I got engaged on March 12th, 2012 and shortly thereafter, my dad offered to give me a large sum towards our wedding. My Fiance and myself will only be paying about 6K on our own (photographer, smaller odds & ends like gifts, wedding bands, my shoes & jewelry, his attire). My Fiance parents were beyond estatic about the engagement and said they will pay for whatever we need them to do.
Fastforward to this month, my Maid/Matron of Honor got engaged. I absolutely love her & her Fiance and I’m over the moon for them. Here’s the kicker, her family is not able to help her pay for anything. Her FI’s side of the family is a sticky situation. They *may* get some help from them. Both Maid/Matron of Honor and her Fiance are successful but regardless, a wedding is still very expensive!
I feel a lot of guilt now when I complain about stupid stuff like bridesmaid dress colors or even talk about anything money related in regards to my wedding. BUT she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and there is stuff that I HAVE to discuss with her. I’m also planning a Destination Wedding wedding and I’m feeling guilty about that as well since that is extra money they will have to be paying to attend my wedding.
Any advice on how to deal with this? How do I approach financial situations or any wedding planning with her?
Post # 3
Since you’re saving so much money, why not offer to pay for her and her Fiance to attend yours? DW’s are quite a hardship on guests who are on budgets.
Post # 4
Please don’t worry– it is life. FI’s groomsmen will have the resources for an amazing bachelor party in Vegas and I’ll be having something much smaller and affordable. I don’t have any negative feelings because it is life. I wouldn’t want him to feel guilty that my bachelorette will be smaller, because it isn’t anything I did or didn’t due. Your friend has no control over her parents’ resources and spending, just like you have no control over yours.
As your friend, I would want to hear all of the details and to share my ideas. Plus, I’d really, really care about tge dress!
Post # 5
@Pollywog: Awesome. Thank you so much. I figured I was just being silly. I just wanted to hear it from someone else. Thanks 🙂
Post # 6
I think first of all she should have the wedding she can afford. Just because her parents aren’t giving her money or just because she has a smaller budget doesn’t mean that she doom to have a bad experience planning her wedding or that she won’t have a nice wedding.
Second you actually don’t have to talk about how much you are spending. I been Moh twice and I never talk budget with either of my brides. The only time I brought up money was about my dress, or if I was there when she happen to pay for something.