(Closed) Guilt over buying something expensive

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
1119 posts
Bumble bee

Yes all the time! I have an obsession with purses, and here lately clothes, and I always feel bad for spending so much afterwards :/

Post # 4
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Yes, but I focus on the reasons why I decided to buy it. They’re usually good ones, so, then I can let those feelings go. If they’re not, I can return the purchase (or resell it if I can’t return it).

Make a habit of donating a portion of your income to the causes that mean the most to you. That way it’ll never feel like an either-or thing. You can enjoy your money and help others too.

Post # 5
3076 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

Same dh makes fun of me for getting buyers remorse. But I only have a handful of pricy items that I get use out of so I try not to think about it too much.

Post # 6
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sometimes, but not often. I give a lot of clothes, shoes and household items to charities. I also try to make a financial contribution to a charity at least once a year.

Post # 7
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

The only time I feel bad about buying expensive things is when I see someone close to me struggling financially. I know that their financial circumstances should have no effect on my purchases, but I feel bad buying something ridiculously expensive while they’re scrambling to make sure their bills are met. 

Post # 9
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

The only time I feel ‘guilty’ for buying something expensive (or spending large amounts of money) is when I’m buying something for myself and I don’t get anything for my SO.

I guess I feel that if I can afford it and it makes me happy, why should I deny myself, simply because others cannot afford what I can.

I don’t mean to sound like a bitch – I donate to charities and volunteer (I don’t anymore as we live 3 hours away from a city, but when we lived in the city I volunteered regularly) – I also work hard for my money, I do overtime and I don’t spend money frivolously.

Comparison (either way) is the thief of happiness.

Post # 10
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I bought a $315 pair of eye glasses today and feel AWFUL. I already have a pair! And that didn’t inlude the lens price, ugh! They were so amazing, though…and this is the only store in the US that sells that brand :-(. We can totally afford it, but it just seems like on some level it’s a waste, given that I have a pair of fully functional glasses already….

Post # 11
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I do sometimes but then I remember that my religion has a built in guilt free rule for this. I’m Muslim and we’re required to give charity from our income! lol 

Post # 12
3465 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I felt bad when I spent 30$ for back to school (university obvs.) clothes a few weeks ago.

Post # 13
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@crayfish:  If it makes you feel better, I always make sure I have two pairs of glasses at my current prescription. Mainly because if I only had one pair, and something happened to them or I lost them, I’d be up a certain creek without a paddle! I wear my glasses everyday, so I see it as an investment to own a pair (or two) that make me look and feel good, whether it be a $50 frame or a $500 frame. Besides my glasses frames have always lasted me a minimum of two years so, if you broke the total cost of them down across that time period, they’re actually a lot less than some of my really cheap clothes that I’ve only worn a couple of times.

I absolutely don’t feel guilty about spending money on the occasional expensive thing, but this is because I earn my own money and have always been very good about setting and meeting my financial goals. I make sure that I save a portion of every paycheque, contribute regularly to my pension, and would not consider buying something that I could not pay for outright (excluding getting a mortgage for a house – sadly I don’t have that kind of change laying around!). I work hard for my money, and if I want something especially costly I’m prepared to go without life’s little luxuries until I can afford it.

FWIW I do donate regularly to a couple charities close to my heart, and often sponsor charity events that friends and coworkers participate in. Sadly, even if I was to donate every remaining penny of my paycheque after paying the bills, it will never be enough. As I can’t shoulder the world’s burdens, I might as well enjoy some of the fruits of my labour. You can’t take it with you after all.

Post # 15
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@amoret11:  I feel bad because H treated me to a really expensive dinner. It was amazing, but it was the most expensive meal of either of our lives.

Post # 16
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@amoret11:  I guess I am a terrible person, because I don’t feel bad about it at all. I think if I couldn’t afford it and was going into debt for my materialistic pursuits then I’d feel bad (and stupid). However, I’d never do that so if I can comfortably afford something then I don’t feel bad about it (or find it particularly expensive).

I drive a Navigator, but we bought it after my car accident because I wanted to feel safer. Usually I have reasons if something is insanely expensive (which that was). If it is just sunglasses or a purse then I don’t really think twice about it. I keep my sunglasses forever and the designer ones fit the best. They also protect my eyes my UV damage and I need my eyes.

If you are in a position where you can afford it, then you’ve obiviously done something right in capitalistic society. You’ve worked hard, you earn a good living, and you shouldn’t have to think twice about treating yourself (or your family) every once in awhile. If something is a splurge that I don’t need then I do feel silly though, such as dinner like @tmsing: mentioned.   

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