(Closed) Guilty about not asking my sister to be in the wedding party..yet

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I didnt ask my sister to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man. I dont think sisters are automatically in the bridal party, it all depends on your relationship with her.

Post # 4
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@shawnareneepierson: This day is about you.  Be a bridezilla right back and tell her exactly how you feel.  This will be the one time in your life you have a legit exuse.

But I know how you feel I’m in a similar situation.  I have 5 sister and a Future Sister-In-Law.  I wanted 5 bridesmaids and 2 of those are close friends.  So I asked my 3 close step-sisters to be bridesmaids, my step-sis and half-sis on my dads side will be in charge of the guest book then be escorted in, and my Future Sister-In-Law will do a reading for us.  If you don’t want her being a bm, find something else for her to do.

I still feel guilty for not asking all my sisters (my half-sis is much younger than me and I know its hard for her to understand.)  But I just have to stop and say its my day, and if someone wants to get mad over their part then let them be!  They will eventually get over it.

Post # 5
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t ask her then. I think sisters don’t make the best bridesmaids. That being said, normally moms, sisters and sometimes grandmas get ready with the bride (even if the sisters aren’t BMs).

Post # 6
193 posts
Blushing bee

@shawnareneepierson: I wouldnt feel guilty either for not having her as bridesmaid. Trust me I couldnt even invite my sister so I know how it feels.

I wouldnt totally exclude her. Maybe ask her to join you when you go bridesmaid/dress shopping so she can find something to wear for the wedding.  Thats if shes the type that would still want to be a bit involved.
If not leave her to her own devices, this is one day that you do get to make all the decisions.

Post # 7
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

As a waiting bee, I wonder how I’m going to handle this, too. I have only one sister, but we are not close. She’s much younger than me in maturity and age, and I only hear from her when I’m home visiting (when she’s home from college). Any time I try to talk about life, she doesn’t want to share details. It’s a little complicated. But I do hope that by the time I get married, we’ll have a better relationship, or if we don’t, I’ll know how to handle how she fits into my wedding!

Post # 8
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have 3 sisters–none of them are going to be involved in the wedding beyond being guests and one of them isn’t even going to be a guest.  Don’t feel guilty for wanting the people who you are closest with to be by your side.  

Post # 9
26 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

@shawnareneepierson: I guess I am going to be a little different here, because my sister did not include me or her other sister in her wedding and it shocked and hurt us both. We were extremely close growing up, but drifted apart when we went to different colleges and different states. She even included one of her groomsmen’s wives in her bridal party whom she had known for less than a year which really was icing on the cake to me in being devastated!!! Of course, I never told my sister I was incredibly hurt by this and I have distanced myself from her ever since her wedding. I would have been happy if she had included me as the guest book attendant or something else, anything else, but to be “just a guest” after growing up with her and sharing all our childhood secrets….I honestly do not think our relationship will ever be the same.

  So, if you can not include her as a bridesmaid, you might include her somewhere else to at least let her know you did not forget about her.

Post # 10
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

What about having her do a reading doing the ceremony? That way she’s included in the ceremony/recognized.

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