Post # 1
My famiy and Fiance family have been making me feel gulity for wanting the kind of wedding I desire. Yes it is cliche, but i have always wanted a “big” wedding. Now I don’t mean big as in a lot of people, just a nice venue and decor. My Fiance and I found a venue that we both loved, but sadly is a bit pricey. The venue is in our budget but we tried to talk to my family ( They have more money) for help and was ultimately shot down. So now we have decided to wait 2 years before getting married to save up the money.
Our famileis are so upset with us waiting for a long time. my Fiance is a bit older ( 31) and they want us to have children by now lol, even if we aren’t ready. My family on the other hand disagree with us spending the money on a wedding and want us to get a house instead. I am so sick of everyone telling me what I shoud do instead of being supportive.
We went to a small backyard wedding over the weekend and every person there was just jumping down my throat about how not to spend money on a wedding and do this backyard thing instead. It’s great for some people but it isn’t what I truly desire. So with all that being said, now I feel guilty wanting to have a wedding and spend the money. I am so disappointed in how no one is on our sides.. Sorry I just needed to vent.
Post # 2
If this is what you and your fiance want that’s all the matters. It’s your wedding. Not your families’ wedding. And it’s your money. It’s quite frankly none of thier business.
Post # 3
It’s your wedding bee, the thing I have learned about family and wedding planning is that there is always gonna be someone who doesn’t agree with you and isn’t happy. The bottom line is that it’s your day, and you can decide how you would like it. Years from now you don’t want to look back and regret being pressure into making decisions, its you and your FI’s decision. Don’t be pressured into a wedding that doesn’t feel like yours.
Post # 4
This is why I shared very little about my wedding planning with my family. I didn’t want to hear it. They didn’t know the budget or most anything else that went into the planning process.
If you and your Fiance are paying for it, then do what you both want to do and enjoy it!!
Post # 5
I honestly feel like I’m reading my own post here. Fiance and I also fell in love with a more pricey venue and we put our deposit down. I’m feeling wedding guilt sometimes bc of his mom. All she said when we told her is “super expensive..get a different venue”. But at the end of the day we didn’t ask her for money and she hasn’t offered any. It’s what we want and have dreamed of!
Post # 6
If you really want to do this “So now we have decided to wait 2 years before getting married to save up the money” then that’s what you want . It’s the last thing I’d want , but it’s your day and your choice , so clichéd or not ,it’s no one else’s business really! (though you kind of made it their business when you asked them for money)
Post # 7
I agree with PP’s, it is your wedding so it is up to you, but by going to your family to ask for money you got them involved, and now they are ramming their opinions down your throat.
Post # 8
MsBeer : elderbee : Yes true it is now their business because we asked. but we only asked because they were demanding we get married in a year, so when we found the venue, we couldn’t afford the down payment yet, thus why we asked. :/
Post # 9
It doesn’t have to be their business anymore. When they bring it up, change the subject.
Post # 10
FutureRosas : They can “demand” anything they want. Doesn’t mean you have to comply. I would just stop talking to them about it. They’ve made it clear they aren’t helping financially, so your spending is none of their business. If anyone asks about the wedding, say you’re planning for 2019 and if they ask why, just say “that’s what works for us.” If anyone is ignorant enough to keep prying, turn it around with “why do you ask?”
Post # 11
Daisy_Mae : Yes, getting everyone’s advice I have seen it is best to keep them out of it. Makes me disappointed that I can’t be positive about our wedding with them though.