Post # 1
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
Very happily engaged bee since August here. Fiance didn’t propose with a ring, because he knew I wanted to design my own (and am fussy as anything and wanted moissy not diamond which is not that common here in the UK – certainly not in jewellers stores).
Designed my three stone bezel moissy with a peekaboo emerald and am absolutely in love with it. We paid £895 – approx $1100 (paid half each) to have it designed and made specially for me in recycled palladium.
Now it comes to looking for wedding bands and I’ve got myself in a complete fuss about it. I want the same jeweller to make it – she is an independent jeweller that works in wonderful ethical ways and I love her. She sent me progress photos of the ring coming together and I think the set deserves to be made by her totally.
I’ve tried on lots of styles in high street stores but want to add my own unique bit to it and I want it to echo my engagement ring with the emerald and the design I want the jeweller has costed up at £645 – approx $800 and I just can’t help but think about how much that would be sitting on my finger and relating it to, contribution to the wedding, or honeymoon, or a house deposit.
I’ve tried to be logical about it – our wedding is very low cost, choosing to spend money on the things I will be wearing forever is not illogical. OVer the course of 60 years it isn’t that much. Other people spend SO much more than this.
Fiance wants me to have what I want but I think the cost is higher than he was expecting and he’s asked if it might be worth considering getting it made in silver for now which would drop the proce to around 30% and then have it made in palladium later., when money is a little easier. I’m not sure what I think about that and then mooted the idea of not having a band (he isn’t having one). We aren’t really tight on money, we could physically afford it, but it is a lot when thinking about saving for lots of other things.
I felt guilty when the cost for my engagement ring was finalised and although I’ve come to terms with that much money being on my finger (it helps when I love it so much!), I’m worried about spending any more money.
I’m not really sure what I am hoping this post will achieve – did any other bees wait to get a wedding band? Did anyone plump for a ring they felt a little guilty about the cost by? Did anyone go for a cheaper ring and not the one they truly wanted?
Post # 2
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
If you can afford it,buy the wedding ring. Incorporate it into the wedding ceremony and enjoy
Post # 3
Member
1657 posts
Bumble bee
Just get the ring you want 🙂
My entire set has cost Fiance almost $10,000 and we’re normally pretty budget savvy and frugal but homie, this is your WEDDING RING.
You won’t regret having something you absolutely love
Post # 4
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
If it makes you feel better think about how much it will cost per wear. If you plan to have this permanently it is a very low cost per day!
Post # 5
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
If you can afford it, I say go for the ring you want. You will be much happier that way!
Post # 6
Member
1273 posts
Bumble bee
I’d just get the wedding ring from the same jeweller. More peace of mind: You already love her work & the rings will be a true set etc.
Post # 7
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee
If you can afford it, go for it. My engagement ring and band will be equivalent to about 50% of our wedding budget (we aren’t including the rings in the budget). Yes, it’s a lot, but I’ll be wearing them everyday for the rest of my life.
You’re going to be wearing your rings everyday for the rest of your life – it’s better to get what you want now (as long as it isn’t putting you into debt) than buying several sets over your lifetime.
Post # 8
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
Thanks bees. We have plenty of time to save, so maybe I will just quietly save up some money so it doesn’t feel like such a big chunk when it comes to it. I earn more than Fiance so it may be that I just pay for the band myself. I’ve only just started work after a PhD so I think I am still in PhD earning mindframe whereas in a years time I should be out of that
Joyful2019 : Yes, this would be the same -50% of the wedding budget with the rings themselves not in the budget. Fiance did make the point that many spend more than I would be spending on the rings on their dress – whereas my non white dress is going to be like £150
tillymac : Wow! I’d be too scared to have responsibility for that much money ha! Bet it is stunning though 🙂
sqldudette : True, I had thouhgt cost per year but cost per wear is even better 😉
Post # 9
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
Engagement rings and wedding bands are expensive! That’s to be expected. Not sure what it’s like in UK but in North America the average price for an ering is said to be $5,000. It doesn’t sound like you’ve spent an outrageous amount of money at all. And if you can afford it, go for it! It’s worth the money IMO just because of what it represents. Don’t feel guilty. Just enjoy it. It’s a once in a life time thing. You found love! 🙂
Post # 10
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
I say go for it, its on your finger for the rest of your life, the wedding ring is just as important if not more, so why scrimp on it…I happily sport close to $17k on my wedding finger….why not !!!!
Post # 11
Member
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
If you want it, get it.
My set cost around $20K. I chose my wedding band and I wanted it designed where my bf designed my engagement ring. My bf designed and CHose the ring.
Post # 12
Member
1886 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK
If it helps, I’m in the UK and my ering cost £850 and wedding band was £650. I thought that was more than enough money to be wearing, even though there are other lovely rings out there that cost twice as much and we could have afforded, I just couldn’t wrap my head around blowing that much money. I got another wedding band in 9ct gold for £250 that is more traditional that I wear as a stand alone and I don’t worry about it so much. eventually you will forget the cost side of things and just enjoy seeing them on your finger 🙂
Post # 13
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
Agree with the other bees! If you can afford it, get the ring you want. That’s the ring you will look down and smile at for the rest of your life!
Post # 14
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
If you can afford the cost, I would get the ring you want, from the jeweller you trust. I balked a bit when I realised what the combined cost of my wedding and engagement rings was going to be (less then 2 thousand euros, but still a fair chunk of change), but then we decided to just bite the bullet as my husband and I both wanted rings that we would enjoy wearing for the rest of our lives.
Post # 15
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
I just went through this with my fiance. My engagement ring was upwards of $6,000 and when we went to look at bands, my fiance had pure sticker shock looking at prices. I think he thought women’s bands were going to be just as much as men’s bands – $200-$300. But most of them are $1,000 or more. I, too, felt guilty but you’re just not going to get much if you set the bar low.
We looked at a few, took about a week to talk it over, and we compromised a bit. My engagement ring is 18K rose gold and my jeweler said I could get the 14K version of the band I wanted for under $1,000. The 18K band is over $1,000 and she told me that the difference wouldn’t be noticeable. She ordered me a sample of the 14K to try on against my engagement ring and it looks perfectly fine.
She also cut us a deal where if we put down a deposit of half the day we were there, we didn’t have to pay tax – and my fiance could pay the rest off the ring off little by little before our wedding day. She literally said he could just drop in whenever he wanted between now and then and give as much or as little as he wanted.
So my advice is to see how you could work with the jeweler. Don’t compromise too much because like others have said, this ring is super important, means so much and will be on your finger forever.