Post # 1
Regular poster Bee going anon.
I overheard some “guy talk” from my Fiance and I know its guy talk…but it still bothers me. It was basically about big breasts and this particular woman and how “women like that make me want to live life 100x over”. What does that even mean? You want to be with all these other women?
I dont want to toot my own horn, but I’m very attractive, petite with a pretty sizeable but well built behind as well as decently sized breasts. This statement makes me feel like I’m not enough, or like I could be almost anyone and he would be sexually satisfied. 🙁
Fiance isnt all dog though. He did also say that if you find someone you love, you hold onto them for dear life because you never want to date “a nut” again. (But if he werent in that position(of being in love), the things he would do to the ahem– breasts.)
Sigh. Anyone else go through this?
Post # 3
I would be upset if I overheard my Fiance say that, too. Did you tell him that you heard him say those things and it hurt your feelings? I think it’s just guy talk, guys can be really disgusting. I’ve never caught my Fiance say something like that behind my back. Sometimes we talk about attractive celebs to get each other “jealous,” but it’s joking and we both know neither of us mean it. I’m sure he finds you hot – he wants to marry you/loves you, not just fuck you like he would that girl with the big boobs.
Post # 4
@anonabee1123: Boys will be boys. Married or single or gay or what have you. I understand that statement is hurtful but don’t read into it that he is not attracted to YOU anymore. He loves you, and I’m sure if he knew you could hear him, he would have never said those things. You should mention it to him, say you overheard and it hurt your feelings. I’m sure he will apologize and he didn’t mean anything by it at all.
Post # 5
I guess that does help– wanting to marry me instead of the girl with giant boobs. FI loves all types of women– seriously all types– sometimes it worries me a bit that he doesnt have much of a standard (is that harsh?). But in reality, it wasnt meant for my ears…any Fiance could be saying that at any time, and the Bees on here just dont hear it. I wonder how typical this is and if its just talk.
This might be Too Much Information but I;m anon so what the hell. I worry about his lack of intimacy during sex soemtimes too. He admitted to me that he taught himself to separate emotions and sex…and with me hes learning to reconnect them. but i still dont always feel like hes really emotionally connecting with me during sex. Meh, maybe i think too much.
Post # 6
awww i dont want to make him feel bad though. and im positive he will immediately feel like crap when i tell him, hes such a sweetie. he never ever wants to hurt my feelings 🙁 I sorta feel like i should just try to forget this one, I often tend to be a little oversensitive on these things.
Post # 7
@anonabee1123: Maybe he meant women like you? Also, guys talk. My SO watched the VS fashion show and drooled over the women with his friends, but when we’re alone he always tells me that I’d make a better model than anyone in the show (I disagree, but it’s proof that just becuse he says one thing with his friends, doesn’t mean it’s directed negatively at you). I wouldn’t read into it too much.
Post # 8
@anonabee1123: I wouldn’t take it to heart. You know he loves your body. Be realistic… Is your Fiance the only man you’ve ever considered attractive? Probably not. As long as he didn’t make that comment to your face I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it.
Post # 9
It’s just boys talk.. they say things to size themselves up, and most of the time it’s not even true!
Post # 10
Let him overhear that you wish you were with someone who was built like David beckham, but when you find a nice guy that is “good enough” for your first life it’s okay.
in the worlds of Michele tanner “how rude”
Post # 11
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@anonabee1123: It means he’s sexually attracted to her but it doesn’t necessarily mean he is unhappy with you or that he will try to have a relationship with that woman. Since it was guy talk and not directed at you, I wouldn’t be concerned about it.
Post # 12
I think it’s weird that he says he’s “learned” to do that – I think guys in general treat sex separately from emotions. My Fiance normally
doesn’t and is very emotional during sex, but can and has had previously casual sexual encounters. I don’t think much of it. Sex is sex and it’s fun, too. Sure, I get emotionally attached to men I’m sleeping with – which is why I don’t sleep around (when I was single, that is). But, I don’t think of sex as this “love making” experience everytime we have sex. Sometimes, it’s nice – like, when we got engaged or on an anniversary or when I’m feeling particularly emotionally connected to him for some reason (he was being extra sweet or something), but sometimes I just want to fuck him and go to sleep. 🙂
Post # 13
since you asked, I work around men they almost all if them talk like that and worse. I get tired of hearing it all day. There are also the gentlemen who adore their wives and never talk like that.
Post # 14
Men are visual creatures. Appreciating with the eyes does not man a man wants to be with that person. My husband and I were watching Firefly a few months back and when Kaylee came out, he went, “Mm. That’s one gorgeous woman.” He’s right. She is gorgeous. We got to talking about it and he said that she is on his “celebrity list” (Would bang if got a chance.) We laughed about it because realistically, that won’t happen. He’s stuck with me, even if I’m not Jewel Staite.
Your SO is with you because he loves you and finds you attractive. These are just words, he isn’t going to act on them and truthfully, it’s just men being men. I’m sure you have a celebrity you find attractive (For me it’s Johnny Depp & Roberty Downey Jr. I could gawk at them forever, I’ll tell you what.) and while you may not say you find them (whoever it is) ridiculously attractive, it’s the same thing. You just keep it to yourself, he said it.
While it sucks to hear, just remember that he’s with you and not chasing another woman’s panties.
Post # 15
I agree with this. Plus, how many times do you look at sexy male celebrities and joke about them with your friends? I know I love me some Jason Statham, but I’m not going to leave SO because of it, nor do I think Jason Statham is preferable to him.
Post # 16
Guys love boobs, and sometimes there’s not a whole lot of emotion behind it. I would try not to look into too much.