Post # 17
No matter how old the man… there will ALWAYS be a teenage boy inside.
They are visual creatures… they fantasize about sex (and other women) it is a fact of life.
You can’t fight it… you sort of have to come to terms with it.
It is only a problem if…
1- They spend more time in fantasy land than reality (aka a porn addiction)
2- They spend more time wanking off than anything else (aka a sex addiction to porn) so that they are unable to perform in the real world
3- They take their fantasies into real life…
a) Shout out another woman’s name in the throws of passion
b) Or Start Dating someone else / cheating
Otherwise it is all in their head… and pretty much harmless.
I don’t know any man (no matter his age… 15 thru 90) who hasn’t fantasized OUT LOUD about some other woman at some point in time in front of “the guys”
Whether they say…
“I’d like to do that” OR… “If only I was 16 again”…. OR… “Dolly Parton a guy can dream”
(Ok the last one would have come from my 80+ year old father)
But you get the point.
For them sometimes it is all about the body… and not much else
(Hence the comment about never wanting to date a “nut” again. This one is common… have heard it before… “she was perfect from here down”… and they make a motion across the neck… “But from here up she was sooo crazy, and not worth it”)
These comments, they aren’t an affront to you personally… infact your guy is smart enough to know that you are an amazing gal and he’s lucky.
He said so… AND THAT
IS ALL THAT MATTERS
Hope this helps,
Post # 18
It’s just guy talk, don’t be offended. My fiance will talk about attractive women to other guys and I know that he is just joining in the fun a bit. It’s biologically built into men to look at women, be attracted to them and want to mate, it has ensured the survival of the specises for thousands of years.
Just because he likes another women’s breasts does not mean that he doesn’t like yours and love you! Remember, you are more than just a pair of breasts to your fiance. You are a unique and irreplacable person that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. If he has five seconds of breast talk with another guy it doesn’t mean anything.
Post # 19
It reminds me of how I LOVE Vin Diesel. OMG!!! Everytime I see the movie XXX and he gets out of the shower and the camera pans down . . . just . . . close . . . enough . . . DOH!
I was with DH in the movie theatre when we saw it, and I was turning my head sideways as if I could see below the screenshot to the fun bits! To this day DH hasn’t let me live it down and we joke.
Sure Diesel is HOT, but I fell in love with my DH and he’s HOT, to me, in his own right. I don’t think your guy really mean anything by it. “Look at the menu, but eat at home.”
Post # 20
@anonabee1123: aww (Big hugs) im so sorry you heard this BS guy talk and thats all it is GUY talk if my FH heard my girl talk OMG he would be mad lol my next EX husband is Lenny kravitz Lord this man gets my blood pumping ; )
just look at this man lol
but i love my FH and its all talk thats what he did all talk to his friends.
he im sure loves you but it still feels crappy to hear him comment on stuff like that. just try to remember its all talk and nothing else you are the one hes with you are his choice and its a good choice he knows that.
Post # 22
I would be super hurt if I heard my Fiance say that, but like PP have said, guys are pigs sometimes and they say what they say… sigh. My fiance told me once that when he’s out with the boys that of course they talk about girls.. I asked “like what?” and he said they talk about girls they think are hotter than me (or the other guy’s gf etc)… I was appalled… I have a lot of insecurities even though I’ve been told I’m pretty attractive… I think my Fiance is ridiculously sexy and while I find other men sexy, he’s always been IT for me… I didn’t get why he finds other women at the bar hotter than me.. why are you with me then?
I got very very very upset….
But I guess it’s boys being boys. Can’t change them. They think about sex differently than we do.. I would let him know I was seriously bothered if I were you, but beyond that, there’s not much you can do.
Post # 23
oh ive heard a bit of stuff like that, guys being guys and whatnot! i try not to take it personally
also, when a friend of my husband was having doubts about getting married just before his wedding, my then fi was saying that you have to know the person and be 100% sure or its better not to do it. they were outside with the door open and i was in the kitchen, so not even secretly listening particularly….DH was just being loud haha. the way he illustrated his point was to list a massive list of stuff he didnt like about me and say smth along the lines of “and im going to have this for the rest of my fucking life”. luckily he followed it with ‘but im sure, and i love her. so if youre not sure then don’t do it…because marriage is forever and people dont really change’ (more or less, it was in spanish). but still, i was surprised by the things he didnt like haha
Post # 24
I dunno, when I see a pic of Zac Efron these days in his undies, I think damn if I were single the things I would do to that guy…and my gfs and I ogle over a pic for a minute (and then I realize I have no idea when he went from 12 to gorgeous and it would probably be jail bait).
There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing I don’t think, and clearly he didn’t mean he’d be doing it now. It’s just talk, and I think you know that, so try not to let it bother you, and think about Zac Efron instead.
Post # 25
This made me laugh out loud…thank you!!! 🙂
Post # 26
@anonabee1123: He’s married, not dead. I’m sure you see guys you’re attracted to as well, or guys with a certain physical feature that you like. For me, it’s nice broad shoulders and a jacked back. Luckily for me, Fiance has these features. But when I see other guys with them, I notice. Of course I do.
He wasn’t talking to you so I don’t see how you can be upset over it. If he were to tell you all about these monster breasts, that would be a different story. If he’s talking to someone else, and you didn’t mention how you overheard, then I would just let it go. Guys are attracted to hot women with smoking bodies. They talk about it. As long as they don’t talk about it to their partners or act on it, who cares.
Post # 27
Fiance now is not overly romantic or emotional. But I can tell by the way he talks about things in his past…he used to be much more emotional– in both good ways and bad ways. Like I could tell he felt really deeply for someone, but he also used to be crazy jealous. I dont want to say he doesnt feel deeply now but his deep emotions are something he really has to work at conntecting with. Not sure if this is making any sense…im probably painting Fiance in the most horrible light. Hes extremely sweet and the funniest man Ive ever met, very warm and happy go lucky. Ive typically been with deep brooding musician types….super romantic, almost movie-like, but they lacked substance. My Fiance is all substance, but romance and deep feeling is something he has to work at, he even admits it himself.
On sex: I love sex and we have a pretty healthy sex life (3-5 times a week). Sometimes I like the kind where we just “fuck and go to sleep” as you say….but other times I really want to connect. Look in my eyes and all that. i dunno…again maybe im over thnking it. we had some great sex last night and i told him how i want some more experience and he did better. we’ll see!
Post # 28
Because your in relationship that does mean you stop being attracted to other people or their physical charactherstics. It wouldn’t bother me.
Post # 29
I haven’t had that experience with my Fiance. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t ogle other women at all. I would be pissed if I heard that.
Post # 30
he wasnt even saying she was pretty, it was just the boobs. also, this is someone we know (not a friend per se but we know her), not a celebrity. I feel like its different. I make an effort to pretend that everyone we know in real life isnt as good looking as he is (but sometimes they are!) but I would never tell him that because I dont want to hurt his feelings.
Post # 31
@This Time Round:
yes definitely helped a lot thank you!! you make perfect sense. 🙂