(Closed) Guy wants to marry me and I'm freaking out! Please, please help!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Aquababes:  Think about the fact that making declarations of love and devotion is really easy to do. It takes little effort, and unfortunately, in the wrong hands, it’s often used to manipulate and control others. Think about what he actually does on a day-to-day basis to show you he loves you, how he addresses challenges and conflict, how he treats (or doesnt’ treat you) with kindness and generosity. Does he make you want to be a better person, not just for him, but for yourself? Generally, how does he make you feel when he’s NOT making declarations of love.

Post # 33
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Actions speak louder than words and his actions are terrible.  When you finally meet the right one it’s not work – it just feels easy and right.  I think you know in your heart this man isn’t right for you. 

Post # 34
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I have to echo everybody and say get out while you can. You shouldn’t have to put up with this kind of treatment for the rest of your life.

Post # 35
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

RUN!!!!

Post # 36
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

When my mom talks about the relationship she had with my dad {the split in a very ugly divorce when I was 7} when they got engaged/married is exactly how you described it. When you find the person you were meant to marry you feel complete. You feel the whole world wrapped around you like a giant hug. It’s magical. Not the way you are feeling. You don’t owe him anything and you need to realize your feelings matter too. You only get one shot at this thing called life and you don’t want to regret spending years hopping he changes into the person you want him to be. You deserve to have happiness and this guy doesn’t seem to respect you enough to give that to you. Someone who actually loves and respects you would never even consider saying those things to you. Don’t waste your life out of fear that you wont find someone better. You will.

Post # 37
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

RUN!!!  He’s never going to choose you over his family and you’re always going to be their “maid-servant.”  Just run.  You’ll be THRILLED when you meet a man who wants you to be his queen, not his handmaid, and you’ll run off into the sunset together with both famlies approval and your family will not be pushed aside….

 

Whew!  I hope you read that in one breath like I wrote it (and said it in my mind) lol

Post # 38
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Actions speak louder than words. He may say he loves you, but all the actions you just listed say otherwise in my opinion. I’d leave..but I’m pretty cut and dry like that and have no patience for being treated poorly.

Post # 39
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Walk Away. Only positive thing in whole post was that your parents support you. THEY WILL SUPPORT YOU IF YOU LEAVE HIM!!! it’s time to realize that this is not a man, it’s a boy who isn’t ready for marriage at all. Mommy still takes care o her lil baby and spoils him rotten… what are you a stuffed animal prize for him? no it’s time you walk away

Post # 40
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wait a min I’m confused… Your profile says you are not yet engaged that you are a lawyer not a teacher and that you have only been on here for 7 hrs…? Can you give us some more background as to how this fits with your post? If you are not engaged how are you getting married?

Post # 43
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m so happy you are open to the advice here. Good luck, stay strong, go be happy!

Post # 44
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

seriously, leave this guy..

Post # 45
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

With the right man you know it beyond all doubt. When you have the questions you do then you have your answer. But the beauty of your current situation is that when you do meet “the one” you’ll be able to see how wonderful he really is because of your past experiences with this man.

Thank him for his behaviour and move on because it will make you see the right man clearly later. Trust me I have been where you are. I am soooooo glad I got out of my previous relationship because my fiance is everything and more than I ever wanted. Totally worth the wait!!

Post # 46
Member
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You are a smart woman.

Deep down you KNOW this gut is totally unworthy and unsuitable.

 

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