(Closed) ‘Guys don’t get involved with wedding planning’

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: How involved is your FI in wedding planning?

    Almost too involved!

    He's involved somewhat, does his fair share

    No involvement whatsoever

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 10
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Fiance has actually been doing way more of the footwork than I’ve been doing. I have aesthetic input on most decisions because I care more, e.g., about what our cake looks like (and what kind of cake it is!), but he’s the one emailing different vendors and offering me a range of options to choose from. Meanwhile I chill out and admire pretty pictures on wedding blogs. ^_^

    Post # 11
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @txbella:  My Fiance is very involved.  I used to joke that it was “his” wedding and not “ours” but in the end of the day, he lets me do whatever would make me happy.  He used to be a DJ and event planner so he has ideas on what he wanted his wedding to be.  I’ve never met any guy who’s been so involved with wedding planning and I’m grateful. 🙂

    Post # 11
    260 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    He’s been just as into the planning as I have! He likes to think of himself as the guy who’s getting dragged around, but he has opinions and he voices them. I’ve been surprised on all the little things he’s had opinions on!

    Post # 12
    1736 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    My fi kicks me in gear. Hes all in my wedding buinness

    Post # 13
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee

    My Fiance is involved enough. He definitely doesn’t think that it should all be left to me.

    Post # 14
    1438 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    mine is helping alot with the DIY stuff, but when it comes to decision making, he has no input, it kind of ticks me off, haha… i ask him for his input advice, and all he ever says is “whatever, doesn’t matter” ….. i’d rather him help me with decisions over anything else because that’s where i get the most frusterated. 

    Post # 15
    1929 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    Mine was pretty involved.  He had several items that were his to own (band, Rehearsal Dinner playlist, honeymoon, etc) and then he gave input on the rest.  For the big things, he went to the meetings, helped negotiate, helped decide (even down to flower choices).  For the smaller ones, I would do the research, come up with options, he would talk it over with me, and then let me decide 🙂

    Post # 16
    6610 posts
    Bee Keeper

    My husband was very involved, which I loved. It was his day, too! He helped me out enormously, but obviously there were some things, like flowers, that he didn’t really care about.

    Post # 17
    4812 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    My husband actually did most of the planning and organizing for our wedding.

    We had a short engagement (about 2.5 months) and I was incredibly busy with work, as well as taking some classes, at the time. He was still off work after taking early retirement from the military. He is also very into organizing and planning and very good at it. It was a sort of destination wedding, in another province, and so he was constantly the one communicating with the venue and so on.

    He still talked to me about everything, presented me with options he had put together, and asked my thoughts and input on things, but when it came to details and even many ideas, he was certainly the one doing it. Many things I just said “yup, sounds good to me” or “whatever you prefer”, ha. He made the invitations, put together the wedding music (with much tears as he found plenty of songs that “fit” for us, ha ha), and so on.

    I did not mind at all! We definitely ended up with a rather unique (some would call it quirky) and very non-traditional ceremony & wedding, and many elements absent which are normally “de rigeur” it seems in weddings these days, but that was just fine with me as I never wanted traditional.

    We still agree we would not change a thing about it, not even the hiccups!


    Post # 18
    412 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    My Fiance doesn’t come up with ideas in general…so he is not “that much” involved in the planning process.  But he does have opinions, so I will finalize a couple ideas and run by him to get an OK. 

    I guess its not a bad thing I guess as guys have different taste than girls in general. 

    I always tease him he is acting like a boss just want to get the final approval but don’t want to do any grunt work 😛

    In reality though, if I let him be involved in the researching he will either pick the cheapest one without doing thorough research or just pick the first one to save his time. 



    Post # 19
    700 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My Fiance is involved in every major decision, but usually not until the end (e.g. I narrow down the choices and then solicit his input).  He has an opinion and I appreciate the discourse.

    Post # 20
    1691 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would say not involved at all. Mine came to look at venues, but that was about it. He wants me to make all the decisions myself. When people ask him what he does as far as wedding planning, his reply is “I’m the financier.”

    Post # 21
    1033 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I wish my fiance wasn’t involved! 


    His ideas…

    we need an open bar

    we need a videographer

    we need a head table, not sweetheart

    let’s have a photobooth… this took some research to fine a nice one

    let’s have flowers down EVERY ilse at the church… and $1,500 later

    lets close the registry before the wedding (it’s common for his family to do this)

    no, we can’t skip the bouquet/garter toss

    we need to send out ‘thank you’ cards fast


    I have my share of things that we ‘must’ have, but some of these things came out of nowhere. And I thought that he wouldn’t be involved. HA! 

    Post # 22
    2357 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’m in grad school and don’t live in the city in which we are getting married.  Tomorrow, my Fiance is going to meet with a potential venue then go pay the deposit at our bakery (which is an hour’s drive).  He also made us this huge, complicated spreadsheet to budget.

    He’s pretty darn involved and I love him so much for it. 

    Post # 23
    4081 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    My husband was super involved which I loved. He went to the venues, food/cake tastings, helped me write our vows, pick songs, pick decorations, print the programs, invitations, STD’s, plan the honeymoon. All of it! We had a blast planning it together. Lots of stress for sure, but lots of laughs and good times, too!

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