(Closed) ‘Guys don’t get involved with wedding planning’

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: How involved is your FI in wedding planning?
    Almost too involved! : (43 votes)
    15 %
    He's involved somewhat, does his fair share : (170 votes)
    61 %
    No involvement whatsoever : (43 votes)
    15 %
    Other (please explain) : (24 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    1258 posts
    Bumble bee

    There are a few things he cares a good deal about – I leave those to him (DJ, his suit, location of rehearsal dinner). I help on those when he asks, like when he needed help figuring out where to shop for the suit. Some things he cares nothing about, I do those. On most decisions — invitations, cake, favors, printed napkins, pretty much anything with a design — I pick my top 5 and he chooses his favorite from that. It works really well. Every once in a while, he’ll ask for his honey-do list, and I’ll write one up. And he’s wonderful at chasing down prices on things, so that’s been much of what I’ve given him to do. 

    I’m learning to discern the true “I don’t care” from the worn-out-on-wedding-stuff “I don’t care.” But maybe the thing he’s best at is calming me down 🙂

    – on a side note: He was less interested in any involvement early on, but some good friends of ours are getting married not long before we are, and that poor groom is so (deliberately) left out of the loop that he didn’t even know where they were registered when I asked. I think Fiance felt a little sorry for him, and became happy to have his input valued.

    Post # 78
    Member
    715 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Fiance is somewhat involved.  Mostly me running ideas by him but if I give him a task he does it.  He is great at researching and finding vendors.  He actually found our venue and caterer.  I gave him the budget and the “must have” list and he went to town.  He doens’t really care about the smaller, more detailed aspects but if I ask he’ll provide his opinion.  Sometimes I realize its easier to just do what I want to do b/c I’ll have an idea and be running with it and then I’ll tell him and he’ll have another idea instead……then it gets complicated.  Overall, he’s helpful when I need him to be.

    Post # 79
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    All he cares about is the music list and the alcohol. He didn’t care much about anything else. He did help pick the tux though!

    Post # 80
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Oh and he did want Roast beef for the meal.

    Post # 81
    Member
    707 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Fiance is a graphic designer so he was completely into the invites, in fact the only say I had in those was the date and place that had to be on them… but everything else, he could give two XX

    Post # 82
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    He would be much more involved if we weren’t living three hours apart and everything in the wedding is here and not there 😛 He does give me his inputs on everything though. 

    Post # 83
    Member
    2721 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Our wedding was really small, so there wasn’t much to do.  I ran everything by him to get his opinion and approval first.  

    He’d been married before, and planned his first wedding almost entirely on his own (his ex wasn’t interested).  I think he was kind of relieved that I wanted to keep ours simple, and there weren’t a lot of decisions to make.  I think his two biggest tasks were helping pick the cake flavor and his tux.

    Post # 84
    Member
    3201 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    We’ve only recently started talking about wedding planning again, but FH does try to be involved. I know he doesn’t care about decor or what colors I choose (he suggested we use chrome) but he is really interested in picking music and food. He texts me occasionally and tells me he thought of a song and that I should write it down. So he’s somewhat involved, but I don’t expect him to be as involved as I am by any means.

    Post # 85
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Mine does his fair share (: He’s involved with most stuff, and then there are little things, like pens and stuff, that he doesn’t care about but pretends to be interested in 😉 I love that he’s excited about everything!

    Post # 86
    Member
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee

    Honestly I thought he’d be a lot more involved than he is. He’s helped pick readings and the menu. I did all the work and then let him help choose the final options. There have been several things that I’ve asked him to do and he never did a single one of them so I did them. Even asking his friends for their addresses. Undecided

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