Post # 31
heyoh : oh no I’m sorry too! Completely took your post the wrong way and idiotically got defensive! Yes it all makes sense now! Lol
duchessgummybunns : I’m really not judgemental in the least. The boyfriend actually prides himself on the fact that he feels like we can talk about anything so I feel him not just saying it outright could be a tiny little bit immature and has made me wonder why if he does want to live together he wouldn’t just say it especially since he’s never had a problem bringing up certain things in the past like marriage, babies etc.
also, could you not see how I might be a little insecure and worried about it myself? No one likes to be shut down and I think I’d die a little inside if I brought it up only for him to think I’m a lunatic who’s read too much into everything? Lol
the rest I feel is irrelevant since we don’t live in Japan or are we Japanese or even American for that matter. I’m an Aussie! Lol
Thank you to everyone for opening my eyes and realising he’s most likely trying to gauge my feelings on the idea. This (stupidly) never occoured to me now I feel like a right insensitive jerk! Lol I will find a nice and also sensitive way to bring it up tonight!
Post # 32
louiseey : You sound a lot like me in that you don’t take hints easily LOL. I am sometimes blunt to a fault but I miss hints, if that makes any sense. Just because you are able to make your wants and needs known easily, doesn’t mean others always feel like they can be that forward.
My Fiance is in general pretty blunt and forward himself. However, there are times where he can be really afraid of being rejected and is much more passive in expressing his wants. This exact issue came up when he brought up the subject of us moving in together. He wanted to do it much sooner than I wanted to; I was leery because I just had 2 pretty intense breakups in my last 2 relationships and wanted to take things more slowly. I finally did get the message one day and asked if he wanted to talk about living arrangements since he had been subtly telling me his lease was going to be up soon. Once he saw I wasn’t afraid to talk about it, then he was able to open up with me. I think you need to put everything out there and just discuss it. I think he will be a lot more relieved when you guys can actually talk about it.
But, your guy may also just be more of a hinter, and there’s nothing wrong with that if you realize that’s what he’s doing.