(Closed) Guys "Stole groom's phone" at bachelor party: insist on talking?

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 437
Member
4394 posts
Honey bee

@Nautigirl:  If I was in his shoes, I would feel like a royal ass for going back on my word and then having my friends carry out my dirty work because I was too much of a p***y to do it myself.

Post # 438
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would highly recomend you read “You’ll See It When You Believe It” by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  It completely changed the way I interact with others, and view the people around me.  There is some excellent guidance in that book about forgiveness and ridding yourself of blame, judgment and revenge.

Post # 439
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@BlondeMissMolly:  But you’re not in his shoes, and she’s not marrying you in 3 weeks.

Post # 440
Member
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

Nautigirl and keranos, you both give me the impression from your replies that you have a large internalized double-standard for men and women. I know you probably don’t see it that way but I do, and it bothers me all the more that it’s coming from (I assume) women.

I just wanted to get that off my chest. OP comes here for help and we only hear her side of the story, true, but even the ambiguity of having half the story doesn’t seem to justify your responses. If the genders were opposite, I wonder if you would feel the same way.

Sorry for going OT and I apologize if I’ve read either of you wrong.

Post # 442
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yowza.  Just read all 436 posts.  I’m going to ask the question that a lot of Bees are dancing around… why are you marrying this man?

Post # 443
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@keranos:  one and only?! This is his 3rd marriage – pretty sure he’s had plenty of other times to have his fun without a woman around. Not to mention, a bachelor party is no excuse for bad behavior – men should have their “last hoorah” before they get into a long-term relationship.  

Post # 444
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@joya_aspera:  I tried to “help” her very early on (Saturday?) by suggesting she get off the internet and just enjoy herself because she was getting waaaay worked up and I could see it was going to end badly.  I don’t see affirming people’s negative thoughts and assumptions as particularly helpful.

No, I don’t have a double standard for men and for women. If my gf’s wanted to take me away for 4 days for a last hurrah, I would expect that I’d be able to enjoy my time with them without having to check in with my Fiance daily. I know he’d actually be ok with that, just as I’m going to be okay with him spending 3 weeks sailing to the Caribbean with his buddy the end of the month.  There is no double standard with me (I recognize both men and women are equally capable of being idiots!lol)

Post # 445
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@All In:  You can probably find it at a used bookstore. it’s not a new book. I still re-read it when something gets me feeling bad or out of control.

Post # 446
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Luayne +1 , I aree maybe she should have reacted diff. but he broke the original promise, and I know hes upset, but so is she, if shes said sorry, he should forgive her and they can return to loving eachother, this holding resentment and power thing with him is disturbing to me. 

Post # 447
Member
4394 posts
Honey bee

@Nautigirl:  of course I’m not, but you asked me how I would feel, no? I’m confused by your response. 

Post # 448
Member
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

A this point,I’d suggest yo both stop fighting about the details. You had a legitimate reason to be upset, but over reacted. He made a mistake, and then over reacted. Getting mired In who said what or did what at this point isn’t likely to be productive.  I would suggest you talk about how you felt, how you communicated and how you can work together better to avoid such problems in the future.  Of course wait to have this talk until you both take a breather!!!

Post # 449
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@All In:  are you still planning on marrying this man? he seems immature and has serious issues communicating, I think you need to sit down with a therapist before walking down the aisle. good luck to you.

Post # 450
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Motor museum

Why are u gonna marry this guy then? I assume because u trust and love him. 3rd marriage, my goodness!

Post # 451
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

He is having a fun weekend with the boys, why does he even need to call you? You should just leave it be, when I do my bachelorette weekend I won’t be going my FH.

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