(Closed) H2b keeps complaining about cost of wedding!!

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
12974 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you two settled on a firm budget?  It sounds like you have very different ideas of what a wedding costs. 

Post # 5
Member
12974 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think then that’s your answer.  You need to sit down with him and figure out an actual budget.  Yes, he agreed to pay for it, but he maybe thought he would be paying something very different.  You need to be on the same page with him about money!

Post # 6
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have to second the firm budget. You need to be very upfront and straightforward when it comes to costs on this and everything else. If you do end up getting a job before the wedding then great! more money. But for now, you both need to sit down and talk it out and be honest that you are stressed at his harping on you. You need to show him why these things cost what they cost and he needs to tell you what he is willing to spend. 

Once that’s all set your stress level should go far down.

 

Post # 7
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

It may also help if you give him ideas (ranges) of what items typically cost- I know that my Fiance was really surprised at catering costs, for example. It wasn’t a surprise to me, based on conversation I’d had with other brides, and also from experience hiring caterers for work events.

A budget will definitely help- make a spread sheet of all the categories. This can also help showing places where you’ve saved money. For ex: I’m DIY-ing the invites and flowers, at a huge savings, and I’m letting Fiance know the difference. That way if I want to spend a little more on a certain category, he’ll understand where we’re making up the difference.

Post # 8
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree… a budget would probably really help you guys out!

Post # 10
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think that sitting down with him to work out a budget will be really helpful. For us, it was also helpful that Darling Husband was willing to be involved in the planning process–it meant that he knew what certain amounts of money would buy and he was less worried about money flying out the window. For example, when I was telling him about venue hire and catering costs, he could barely believe how much everything cost and was wanting to do the cheapest option possible. However, when he came along on the venue hunt, and we ended up getting the most expensive option because he thought the other places looked ‘cheap’… you never know how your Fiance will react! He may want a wedding that looks nice as well and just doesn’t realize what that kind of wedding costs. 

Post # 11
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with all the above posts and feel thats it’s the best way to approach the situation. He’s most likely very unaware of the costs of things and most likely feeling the pressure to provide everything you want for this wedding. If you go through the budget it he’s still not pleased then I would suggest delaying the wedding to ease the pressure and give him time to save or if your able to work (not sure on your situation) find a job to help cover some of the costs. Best of luck and I hope it all works out for you both and you have a great wedding. 🙂

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