(Closed) HA! Silly coworker why are you offended that I did not invite you to my wedding

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@RVG1010:  Oh god…

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@RVG1010:  wtf is wrong with people

Post # 5
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Good for you! Before Weddingbee, I would ask to go to everybody’s wedding! I just thought going to a wedding and reception was a lot of fun. Never thought about how going to a reception means that someone is forking out some serious dough for me to eat! But now I know better…. some people just DON’T know…

Post # 6
Member
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i know some people i know were offended because i could not invite everyone.  we chose a beautiful venue that only held 200 and several of my family members already told me they were coming for sure so I has very few seats left.  i invited very close family, his family, long-time friends (people i’ve been friends with since middle and high school) and very few coworkers.  if i invited everyone i worked with and their plus ones, i was looking at about 80 people.  i also didn’t want to extend invites for an out of town wedding knowing that most will not attend and then feel obliged to get me a gift.  and it’s not cheap.  the per person cost (and i’m not including costs of my dresses, rings, or any indirect costs) was over $200 per person and we paid for it ourselves too.  we estimated what we felt we would be comfortable spending out of our own pockets and our guest list size reflected it.  sure if we had an unlimited budget, we would have invited everyone we knew but we did not and people fail to see the per person cost associated with each invitation.  now that i’ve gone through it, i see every invitation extended to us as an honor.  this couple feels i am special enough to spend hundreds of dollars to have me party for a night. 

 

Post # 7
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No, no and no. That’s such bad manners. Think nothing of it…except that you were right in not inviting her.

Post # 8
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

wow

Post # 9
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i can’t believe that someone would actually say something like that.  they must have no filter.

Post # 10
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

“I beg your pardon” is a wonderful phrase. Many people mistakenly use it (instead of the more correct “pardon me?”) when they haven’t correctly heard someone. “I beg your pardon” is correct when you couldn’t possibly have heard correctly because no-one could possibly have said such a thing. Pull your back straight as you say it, and lift your chin just slightly. Consider how that phrase would have changed the dialogue:

CW: “So how are the wedding plans going?

You: “Fine!”

CW: “I am still waiting  for my invitation”

You: “I beg your pardon!”

CW: “I didn’t get an invitation! Who is paying?”

You: “I BEG your pardon?!??!”

CW: “Well! I would invite my friends if I was paying for my wedding”

You (frostily): “I beg your pardon.”

There really isn’t anywhere she can go that doesn’t make her look ridiculous. Of course, she looked ridiculous even when she was responding to your reasonable explanations, but you have no obligation to make explanations, about large families or anything else.

Post # 11
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@aspasia475:  lol. I was cracking up bc I was imagining it in a British accent.  

@RVG1010:  OP, good job on standing your ground. I’m surprised she didn’t get the point by the middle of the conversation. Geez

Post # 12
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@aspasia475:  I can see why you chose this particular thread to comment, I do.  However, I think saying I beg your pardon so many times is a little silly as well.  At some point, you just have to put on your big girl pants and let the offender know that it’s really none of their business, although maybe a wee bit more eloquent.  No need to be passive aggressive with someone who has never been near Emily Post, apparently.

 

CW: “So how are the wedding plans going?

You: “Fine!”

CW: “I am still waiting  for my invitation”

You: “I beg your pardon?”

CW: “I didn’t get an invitation! Who is paying?”

You: ” I didn’t realize that was relevant to the conversation…” (smile, cock head)

CW: “Well! I would invite my friends if I was paying for my wedding”

You (frostily): “I am.” (super sweet smile)

BOOYAH.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve had to bust a few peoples bubbles about my wedding. I’ve gotten to the point were I don’t even talk about my wedding at work because the more you talk about it the more people think they’re invited. I had to tell this GUY that I worked with that he wasn’t invited after the fourth time he asked where his invitation was… my family and my close friends are the ones I want there not acqaintances…. good for you to sticking to your guns!

Post # 14
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

A girl that I am mutual FB friends with recently asked me if her, (AND HER 5 KIDS AND HUSBAND!!!) would be invited to our wedding! I didn’t even realize that people asked to be invited to a wedding. If you get an invitation then you get one, if you dont, dont ask about it! rude!!

Post # 15
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

lol!  This girl at work sent me an e-mail about how dissapointed she was that i didnt tell her i was engaged?!?  Like dude seriously, we barely speak, do you expect me to come to work on Monday grinning and flashing my ring in your face? Ugghh.. she seemed so hurt that I decided to add her to the guest list.. but now i’m deciding against it.. so i’m anticipating a similar convo soon! 😐

Post # 16
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Not to thread jack but seriously.. what is wrong with people? I had this old college friend who I hadn’t spoken with in 7 years practically beg me to come to the wedding. So after we get a few unexpected no RSVPs, I send her an invite. She doesn’t reply by the deadline but begs me to wait. Finally she says yes for 2 people but doesn’t give me the name of her date. Another 2 weeks go by and finally she tells me that it will only be her going. Fine, so I have her down as a yes.

Now it’s the night before the wedding. I’m laying in bed alone, trying to sleep and I check facebook and see that she’s posting about plans for tomorrow that are not remotely in the same city as my wedding. I ask her if she’s coming. I get some long email excuse that she had an airline buddy pass but got bumped and couldn’t make it. I have no doubt that it was a lie and that she didn’t even intend on telling me.

So after begging me to come… she ends up being a no show. So it cost me all that money for nothing!!!

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