Post # 1
I’m just venting this out, really. I don’t really need opinions or advice, just some people to listen, and maybe offer up some suggestions if they have any.
I had a huge fight with my mom on Sunday about how she’s trying to control my wedding planning, then yesterday she nearly died of an extremely severe allergic reaction. I just feel so awful. Thank God she’s ok!
This sounds really stupid, but I’m worried that I won’t argue with her now about wedding stuff just in case something else happens and she dies and then that’s the last conversation we had, you know? Our fight just keeps running through my mind and I hate it. I would absolutely hate for something like that to be our last conversation. But the problem is, she really HAS been trying to control stuff. The entire wedding planning process has been really difficult because she’s all about tradition and etiquette (without explaining why any of this stuff *has to be this way*).
This is such an awkward position and I’m so upset about everything right now I just want to stick my head in the sand and cry.
Post # 3
****Hugs**** I hate fighting with my family and fiance simply because Im scared something like this may happen! Take it in stride and use this as a way to start over on the wedding planning front. A lot of times, arguments are over simple misunderstandings. Next time you have a disagreement, pause and think “is this really worth it” and try to work it out. You will be okay, its just a baby shock to your system! From now on end all of your conversations with “even though Im upset, I still love you” 😉
Post # 4
I think that you should have a talk with your mom. Let her know that you are really sorry for fighting with her, and that you don’t want to have any more ugly fights with her over your wedding because your relationship with her and your memories with her is more important than the wedding to you.
During the rational, adult discussion, you should try to calmly bring up how it makes you feel when she tries to control your decisions. Explain to her that you want your wedding to be everything you ever dreamed of, and you want the planning process to be happy one, so when she tries to force you into something she wants it makes you feel like it’s not your day anymore.
If you explain things to her in a discussion, and not a fight, then you will be more likely to get what you want without having to feel like a rotten daughter.
Post # 5
Even if she doesnt die, you probably still don’t want the wedding planning process to be filled with memories of fighting with her. I would try to talk to her about all the fighting not because something might happen to her but because you just don’t want to keep fighting.
Post # 6
This must have been very frightening for you. However, it also could be the ideal situation for a controlling mother to control you even more, if you are too scared to disagree about anything in the future.
You don’t have to become a piece of milktoast and give in to her all the time. Just end every discussion by telling her that you appreciate her suggestions, and her being there for you and most important, that you love her.
People who love each other can still have a disagreement without guilt.