(Closed) Had a huge fight with my mom and then she nearly died

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

****Hugs**** I hate fighting with my family and fiance simply because Im scared something like this may happen! Take it in stride and use this as a way to start over on the wedding planning front. A lot of times, arguments are over simple misunderstandings. Next time you have a disagreement, pause and think “is this really worth it” and try to work it out. You will be okay, its just a baby shock to your system! From now on end all of your conversations with  “even though Im upset, I still love you” 😉

Post # 4
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that you should have a talk with your mom. Let her know that you are really sorry for fighting with her, and that you don’t want to have any more ugly fights with her over your wedding because your relationship with her and your memories with her is more important than the wedding to you. 

During the rational, adult discussion, you should try to calmly bring up how it makes you feel when she tries to control your decisions. Explain to her that you want your wedding to be everything you ever dreamed of, and you want the planning process to be happy one, so when she tries to force you into something she wants it makes you feel like it’s not your day anymore. 

If you explain things to her in a discussion, and not a fight, then you will be more likely to get what you want without having to feel like a rotten daughter. 

Post # 5
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Even if she doesnt die, you probably still don’t want the wedding planning process to be filled with memories of fighting with her. I would try to talk to her about all the fighting not because something might happen to her but because you just don’t want to keep fighting.

Post # 6
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This must have been very frightening for you. However, it also could be the ideal situation for a controlling mother to control you even more, if you are too scared to disagree about anything in the future.

You don’t have to become a piece of milktoast  and give in to her all the time. Just end every discussion by telling her that you appreciate her suggestions, and her being there for you and  most important, that you love her.

People who love each other can still have a disagreement without guilt.

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