(Closed) Had a mini-burst!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Wonderwoman217: Maybe you could seriously suggest the courthouse thing to him when he gets home from work and make it clear that that’s all you want. Hang in there!

PS- Flo rocks. πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee

Sorry you are having a tough time.  I do really enjoy your posts though, you crack me up  Laughing

Post # 5
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I think you should totally drive up to the courthouse next time the two of you are out and about running errands and see what his reaction would be, lol. 

Post # 7
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Wonderwoman217: Odd…usually (from what I’ve seen), guys are all for that kind of thing instead of dealing with the frills! I think the best thing to do, then, would be to ask your boyfriend exactly what his vision for a wedding is and see if you two can find a happy medium. πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Whenever I bugged my husband about getting engaged, he would completely clam up about it.  IF he was planning on proposing, he probably wouldn’t like it that you are talking about it because then you are ‘ruining the suprise’.  I would wait a while and see if he brings up the future and marriage because some guys just don’t like being bugged by their GFs constantly about getting engaged!

Post # 9
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, clearly he is aware that you want to get engaged and married. I know it’s hard, but it might be better to try to keep it in sometimes… it might start to seem like you take every opportunity to bring up the fact that he has not proposed even though he knows you want him to. I haven’t read any of your other posts so I’m not sure of your specific situation, but if I were him, I’d probably have walked out thinking “How on Earth did she twist an automotive insurance commercial into a reminder that we are not engaged?!?” lol.

Post # 11
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

LOL! Too funny your son likes Flo. I’d laugh everytime watching him. πŸ™‚

I hope things get better. I know how those bursts can be.

Post # 12
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

Oh boy, do I ever hear you on making comments… it’s funny how when it’s on your mind a lot, everything turns into something about getting engaged, or not being engaged yet.

Last night my SO and I were watching a show, and it took every ounce of strength in me to not comment on a part in the script. This guy’s girlfriend was talking about how the guy told her he wanted his finances to be more secure before they got married, and she was going on like “what does he expect me to do, wait around for him forever? I don’t want to, but I think at some point I’d have to move on if that’s the case”…. my guy was rubbing my back at the time and I was trying SO HARD not to be like ‘yeah… seriously, hear what she said?!? That’s what I go through all the time, that’s exactly how my friends and I talk!!!’ I noticed he got a little more affectionate after that part haha it was hilarious.

I almost cracked up though, just because I find it funny… I can go a while without thinking about it, and then its like BOOM as soon as it crosses my mind even just once, everything on tv suddenly revolves around getting engaged/married.

I would agree with others, maybe just try not to say anything for a bit… I’ve read in numerous books that apparently it can kinda help the process along if you almost act as though you’ve changed your mind about getting married for the time being. Not to play games or anything, just because it will make your guy wonder a bit… guys like working hard for stuff, if you’ve been talking about getting engaged lots and then suddenly stop, he’ll wonder what happened and it might make him step up a bit.

Then he’ll take you to the courthouse! πŸ˜‰

If you’re really going nuts without saying anything, I’d say start a private journal online or something and when the mood strikes, just go write out whatever you need to write out (even if it’s just a one-liner, like WTF IS HIS HOLD UP?!). It’ll help, that’s what I’ve been doing. Plus you can come on here and vent more, too!

 

Post # 14
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

@authentic: hahaha I think it’s hilarious that he got affectionate after that part–my Boyfriend or Best Friend does that too! Or if we watch a show or movie where something really sweet happens in the end with the couple, he will give me lots of hugs and kisses and tell me how much he loves me when it’s over πŸ™‚ And I like your advice about acting like you don’t really want it anymore. I haven’t heard of that yet and it makes total sense with the way guys’ brains work.  Oh, and one more thing–I JUST TODAY started emailing myself whenever I need to vent. That way I have it but I’m the only one who can see it (so long as nobody hacks, lol). Funny that I read this right after! Great minds think alike!

But i do the same thing–if whatever we are watching has something to do with our situation, I will try to send him my thoughts, like, “you better be listening to this!” or just see if he gets antsy.  I can almost always feel that tension when anything wedding-related is brought up. He has changed the way he reacts since even just earlier this year, so I know he is thinking a lot about it. Just waiting for him to act on it!

@Wonderwoman217: The way he reacted makes me think he may have something planned, or at least starting to be planned, and he didn’t want to give anything away. The whole courthouse bit, while hilarious, was a good way for him to acknowledge the topic and then be done with it so he doesn’t have to say anything else.  I’d say, as other PPs are saying, just try to not say anything for a while and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he will notice and then HE will be the one to bring it up in the future.

Post # 16
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@wonderwoman

lol about the soup commercial – I work on a college campus and on a pariculalry low day walked to my office past a student waiting outside a classroom (not even a student I know in my department) showing her friend her newly-acquired ring, talking about how her fiance gave it to her.  I thought, ” thanks universe, you really, really want me to feel bad about this today!  I can’t even walk to my office without being reminded about it!” 

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