Post # 1
My bf randomly brought up our timeline last night. We were cuddling and I had playfully asked him how “sure” he is about me. So I said “are you 90% sure?” and he said “no, 100% sure”, and I said “come on, there must be a teeny bit of doubt” and he said “not at all!”. A few minutes later he said “actually, I’m absolutely 100% sure about you and us and how great we are together. I’ve felt that way for a while now and yet, I feel like I have to wait until the one-year mark to propose. It’s just this illogical milestone that’s stuck in my head.” And then he said he hadn’t purchased the ring yet. To which I said “you should ask when it feels right, like when you’re bursting at the seams and can’t wait another minute to ask me to be your wife”. He laughed and said “but I’m already there”.
We’ve been together for 7 months (not long, I know) so I find it strange that he would bring it up only to tell me he feels like he should wait another 5 months. Why do you think he brought it up? And what was I supposed to say? This is really confusing. Also, we haven’t even talked about ring likes/dislikes or anything so how would he know what to get me? AAAH, confused 🙂
Post # 3
Just a quick question, howsold are you if you don’t mind me asking?.
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s confusing. He wants to marry you but wants to wait to propose until you’ve been together for a year. Obviously your relationship progressed quickly and it’s going well if you are having this discussion after 7 months. However, he is being prudent and wants to date for a few more months.
5 months will fly by. Unless you are looking for some unique custom ring it doesn’t take all that long to pick out and buy an engagment ring, so I wouldn’t worry abou that yet.
Post # 5
@mojitolady: It sounds like he is excited and wanting to marry you. This might be just me, but I think waiting a year might be a good thing. It lets you see each other through true ups and downs and the “so excited you’re bursting at the seams” feeling sort of wears off and you are able to make a logical decision.
Congratulations, it sounds like an engagement isnt far off!
Post # 6
@mojitolady: That is so sweet! I especially loved the last part. “To which I said “you should ask when it feels right, like when you’re bursting at the seams and can’t wait another minute to ask me to be your wife”. He laughed and said “but I’m already there”.” 🙂
He probably brought it up to see exactly where you stood and what your true feelings were. Would you want him to completely surprise you with a ring that he picked out, or would you rather help choose it? Maybe toss some subtle hints out there for the style that you like?
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I feel like maybe he asked to make sure you’re both on the same page, do you also feel 100% sure. It’s also not unusual for couples to wait until the one year mark. Usually by then for most couples that “honeymoon” stage of the relationship has faded and you’ve been through some more trying times together. It just can solidify what you already know. Plus it gives you both time to adapt to the idea of being engaged and being married. I agree that 5 months will go by quickly.
Post # 8
@mojitolady: This is perfect! He wants to marry you. Carry on as always and consider if all goes well he’ll be proposing to you shortly after the 1 year mark. 🙂 Of course, you can always start looking for engagement ring ideas! Let him know you’re just as excited, in love and into him as he is into you!
This is one of the best waiting stories I’ve ever read on this board. Yay!
Post # 9
FortiesFlare: We’re both in our 30s.
kimm99: I guess the part that confuses me is why he brought it up. Was he hoping I’d change his mind and give him reasons why we should go for it now? Or was it really just an FYI? I know none of you know him so it’s hard to give that advice, but I guess that’s why I was scratching my head.
Post # 10
@mojitolady: Not odd at all he wants to wait until the one year mark: Boyfriend or Best Friend and I moved across the country like 4 months after we started dating, both firmly convinced by then that we were going to get married…but no ring! We have been together 2 years and supposedly he’s proposing by end of August. I asked him, though, if he had a ring after we moved, would he have proposed? He said No! He told me he wanted to be together at least a year. He’s 40 and quite rationale, and I certainly can appreciate his responsible approach to marriage.
Post # 11
It does sound like he’s waiting until the one year mark. Try to enjoy your relationship the way it is now and the time will fly by! 🙂
Post # 12
maybe he was testing the waters? He may have been afraid to propose before because he thought you may think it was too early? with him bringing it up like that he got to see how you felt 🙂
Post # 13
Good news! I don’t think you should read into the WHY he brought it up. Maybe he just wanted to let you know how much he loves you and that it’s on his mind. I don’t think he was trying to get you to convince him to do it sooner or later or anything. And technically, he didn’t bring it up – he was just responding to your question! It seems like he’s open to talking about it though, so if you have any questions just ask him! 🙂
Post # 14
The time will go FAST. And like you said 7 months isn’t that long so give it some time. Marriage is a huge commitment more time will make you feel confident that you’re ready. If it makes you feel better my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and have been living together for 6 months (not too long, but its amazing!) and we’re waiting to get engaged until next year so by the time we get engaged we’ll have been together for over 3 years. More time with him just validates how much I love him and that he is the one I want to spend my life with 🙂
Post # 15
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
Even in a case as romantic as wanting to propose I think that rationality can win out. I think when we first started dating Boyfriend or Best Friend told me that he’d never ever consider proposing to someone if he’d been with them less than a year, I think this would be true even if he’d found a girl that he *knew* he wanted to marry early on in the relationship. So it’s no bad thing that your Boyfriend or Best Friend is being rational.
I reckon your bloke was testing the waters, and 5 months really won’t end up seeming so long! Best of luck to you x
Post # 16
Thanks for the reassurance, ladies! I’m just going to focus on our relationship and all the fun things we have planned this summer. It’ll happen when it happens. In the meantime, I have no idea what I like in terms of ring styles, so I might need to spend some time lurking on the Rings board…