- 8 years ago
With my guy’s aunt haha.
We were going out to dinner with his sister and her boyfriend, I arrived at his aunt’s house first (I was the first one off work). So we had about an hour and a half to kill. She’s super cool, I’ve always felt like I could talk to her about anything.
First she was telling me about how she went to some party with her girlfriends, and how it bugged her that the women there couldn’t go 2 seconds without talking about their husbands and/or children. She herself is divorced, but didn’t mean it in a bitter way. She then mentioned how she had girlfriends who even sold all their collections of records once they got married because they “just don’t care about any of that stuff anymore.”
So we got to talking about you know, what happened to these awesome, independent women? Granted, having someone in your life to love, knowing they love you and will stand by your side forever is such a great feeling that I can’t even put into words…but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be independent while being in love!
Anyway. So then I told her about how the second I tell someone that I’ve been dating her nephew for 4 years and we live together, they automatically get judgemental and are like “And you aren’t even engaged yet?! Why aren’t you married after all this time??” and I said it really hurts my feelings, you know… because these are sometimes people who barely know me!! What right do they have? And I told her it bugs me when these people insinuate that something is wrong with me or my relationship if we aren’t engaged by now.
Then I told her about how he said he could see us getting married in 2-3 years, and I was thinking 1-2. I was honest, and told her I have up and down days. Mostly when someone starts asking me about it or when I’m surrounded by weddings lol. I told her about how lately I’ve had it in my head that if I want to be with him forever, which I do, what difference does an extra year of waiting matter, really? In terms of the long run. 5 years from now all of this will be peanuts! A blip!
She was totally cool, agreed with me on everything. Right after I said that one extra year didn’t feel too bad, she was like “but at the same time, you could say why wait, too? If you both agree on the 2 years!” I was like ahh true (and secretly loving that comment hahaha because that’s what I was REALLY thinking).
She started talking about how worried his mom is about none of her kids being married yet. I told her I was shocked when his mom had made that comment to us the last time we saw her, because I figured my guy wasn’t included in that (because he’s the baby haha), but turns out he was! Apparently we’re their only hope for grandchildren haha. His aunt then started talking about how his mom was worried because her husband and her didn’t have the greatest relationship. My guy had told me this in the past, he said they’re more like friends… but then his aunt told me more. I was shocked. She said they have nothing in common, they barely spend time together, and she even said that a few years ago, it was really touch and go… his mom really wanted to leave. But she decided to stay married.
I felt so good that we were able to talk so openly. She said she’s totally my Aunt-In-Law, it was sweet.
But when I got home, for some reason, I felt really awkward. Like I started to panic that I had said too much or something. Even though I didn’t complain or anything, I wasn’t freaking out telling her about how frustrated I get with waiting or anything like that. I just told her I’d love to marry him (at this point she said she’s glad someone does! haha) So I think we’re okay… but it was really weird, I just felt really awkward when him and I got home. I don’t know why! It’s bugging me.
Have you guys ever had that experience, or that feeling, after opening up to your SO’s family? Have you had a close connection like this with one of your SO’s family members?