Post # 1
For a few weeks, my SO had been acting somewhat distant. I was upset, because he seemed to touch and kiss me less, and just seemed rather short with me — less his usual goofy, silly, confident self. I asked him a few times what was wrong, and got “nothing”. I couldn’t understand — just a few weeks ago, he was discussing with his buddies that he planned to pop the Q this summer… maybe he was having second thoughts?
We live together and one night I brought home some sexy underwear. I didn’t even get a response! We watched a movie and he kept commenting how hot the actress was. Devastated, I went to bed angry and eventually had a blow out with him, asking why he wasn’t touching me and asking if he was even attracted to me anymore.
This had been pretty much resolved after I confronted him — and last night at a party, I was doing what I usually do — fawn over the various NFL stars and giggling over Gronk — I said to him, “I want some pics like this of you!” — then he looked over at me and said “You know, I could look like that if I worked out a little more…”
I felt awful!!!! The past few weeks, I had done myself NO favors when we watched sports (something he likes to do) as I thought I was making off-the-cuff remarks about the players, not realizing it was making him feel unattractive.
I told him honestly that I loved him just the way he is and I think he’s the sexiest man alive! Whatever coldness that was between us instantly melted and we had the best sex ever last night. I’m so dumb!! I’ll never do that again!!
Post # 2
zippy85: So….he was being distant because you said you found a pro-athlete attractive?
Post # 3
Yeah I’m not seeing how your comments connect with his being distant.
Post # 5
Awe, that’s good news. Yeah, men are also capable of occasionally going thru bouts of having sensitive egos. For my hubs, he’s particularly fragile about Edward Norton. I think he’s hot, but if I say he is then hubs gets this look and I can tell I’ve bruised his ego. Not sure why Edward Norton, but it is what it is. Now, I can say Hugh Jackman is hot til the cows come home and nothing.
Post # 6
mildlybookish: daisybee90: weatherbug: I assume she means he was acting distant/not being intimate because he felt unattractive due to her making multiple comments about hot sportsmen and that once she realised this and explained to him that she does still fancy him etc he felt less insecure and therefore they had some great sex. It’s fair enough really as it’s hard to get naked and feel sexy if you think your partner finds you unattractive
Post # 7
zippy85: It’s true – men get selfconsious about their bodies as well. We don’t like being compared to cheerleaders and being told that we should doesn’t usually get us in the mood. men can react the same way if they’re feeling unattractive.
Post # 8
cpick: Thanks! Haha.
It’s really not that confusing and any insinutions about how insecure he must be or how there must be something else going on would be laughable; everyone on the face of this planet feels like this sometimes!!!
Post # 9
zippy85: …nobody said he was insecure. your post was extremely difficult to dissect is all.
Post # 10
Wait, I don’t understand. You talk about this whole incident:
“We watched a movie and he kept commenting how hot the actress was. Devastated, I went to bed angry and eventually had a blow out with him, asking why he wasn’t touching me and asking if he was even attracted to me anymore.”
And then you say that after that, you went on to “fawn over” athletes like you “usually do”? Isn’t that kind of the pot calling the kettle black here? After that whole incident you described, it didn’t occur to you that talking about how hot NFL players are might insult your SO in the same way talking about how hot actresses are insulted you…?
Post # 11
Women are definitely not the only ones who suffer with body image issues. Glad to hear that this resolved itself! =)
Post # 12
I don’t get it either. If he didn’t like you making those comments about the athletes, why didn’t he tell you it bothered him? Are you saying that he commented on the hot actress because he was trying to retaliate for your comments? I think both of you need to work on your communication with each other.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
TheGridMonster: I thought she was offended because he said the actress was hot yet gave op no attention… I think.
Post # 14
atreyu547: Yeah, that’s clear. What’s not so clear is that after she got so upset and hurt about it, she proceeds to talk about how hot athletes are and seems surprised that her SO isn’t thrilled.
Post # 15
TheGridMonster: she’s not surprised, the girl is reflecting and sharing on a “duh, why didn’t I realize that” moment.