Had breast reduction surgery and now scared of having children

posted 7 months ago in Babies
  • poll: If you knew you would not be able to breastfeed, would it stop you from having children?
    Yes : (0 votes)
    No : (100 votes)
    97 %
    Maybe : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    2336 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

    anonee008 :  I’m sorry you’re feeling that way Bee. This is exactly why I’m not even considering a reduction right now. I’m actually in fear that I would go back to being large after getting pregnant! 

    Like other posters have said, it doesn’t matter how the baby is fed, only that it’s fed. And honestly, it doesn’t matter what reason you have for not bf. Whether it’s medical or a choice, it’s no one’s business.

    And as someone who is a GG cup size, you didn’t get a reduction for vanity. Women (and men) that don’t have a large chest have no idea the pain and annoyance that big boobs cause on a daily basis. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    6867 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Seriously? I can’t imagine a world in which I wouldn’t have a kid simply because I couldn’t breastfeed??? Do not let that deter you.

    FED IS BEST. Be it breast, formula, feeding expressed breastmilk via bottle, milk from donation, etc.

    If you want a baby, have a baby. How you feed them is no one else’s business but I can 100% understand why you’d feel stressed about it. I preached “Fed is best” for years because I was so sick of hearing people belittle formula users, and even comforted friends who were struggling to breastfeed, assuring them that formula was fine. Then I had a baby of my own and felt extreme guilt when nursing was not going well. I had to supplement with formula for a few days and began pumping. Within a week we were back to all breastmilk, and eventually after a few months my baby started nursing again. I tell you this because I understand how emotional of a process it is. I think if you go into it with an open mind of “they will get fed no matter what” it will all be fine! 

    Post # 18
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee

    FED IS BEST. I work with children and families and I see plenty of healthy formula fed babies and plenty of breastfed babies who have multiple ear infections and illness and vice versa. It really just depends. They are finding that many breast fed studies have exaggerated the benefits of breast feeding anyway. 

    Currently pregant and know that I probably won’t breastfeed beyond 6 weeks. It’s more important to me to be a happy well reseted mom who is attentive to her baby than it is to struggle and cry and be up at all hours pumping good breastmilk, but be miserable and miss the percious moments that occur in that first year.

    Its funny at least in the U.S. certain people want to act holier than thou about it and say that you MUST breastfeed but then don’t support paid maternity leave for extended periods of time, and many populations of people shame mothers who dare breastfeed in public. it’s a mixed message and I think it keeps women trapped and constantly feeling shitty about themselves. 

    They only breastfeed or formula feed for a year or two. As a PP said this is a tiny fraction of their life as a whole and it will not fuck them up forever if they are not breastfed. My partner was formula fed and is the smartest person I know. I was breastfed and I still have health issues. Please don’t beat yourself up about it or let it stop you from having children! 

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    9111 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

     It was important for me to breastfeed, but I did not have my child based on my ability. Unfortunately for me, my breasts felt otherwise and after 7 months, I dried up.

    My daughter lost weight quickly while I tried everything to fix it and nothing worked. So, my daughter was on formula.

    Fed is best.

    Post # 20
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I’m not a mother yet, so I don’t have any experience with breastfeeding a baby, but I was adopted as an infant and therefore never breastfed myself, and I’ve always been a very healthy person (as a baby, a kid, and as an adult).  So while there are definitely benefits to breastfeeding, it’s absolutely not essential, and your baby will be just fine with formula (: 

    Post # 21
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

    anonee008 :  

    Hey! Im a natural health freak, and all of my kids have been formula fed. With the first two it was food allergies, stress from csection recovery, and not producing. I honestly didn’t even enjoy my babies because they were a mess, and I was a mess. With my 3rd, I had another scheduled csection, and did formula immediately without a second thought. Best postpartum experience ever. My husband helped with all feedings, baby was super fat, happy, and content, no issues with jaundice like the others had, I could focus on healing, and she slept 3 hour stretches right from the start. The days we spent in the hospital were bliss. I am pregnant with #4 right now, and we are doing formula again because it makes me a better mom and everyone is happier. No shame in my game. And for the record, as a family we eat a gluten free, organic, low dairy, no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives diet. I shop at Whole Foods. I’m that mom. But you know what? Formula is fucking amazing. I highly recommend Gerber soothe with the purple label. 🙂 all I’m saying is this…FED is best, whether it comes from your boob or a highly regulated can of formula. Happy mama = happy baby. Advocate for yourself. When they ask if you are nursing, firmly say no. You owe no one any explanations. Don’t offer any more information. If they inquire as to why, tell them it is not their business. People get so offended! How you feed your child has nothing to do with them. Don’t feel guilty. You took care of your body by getting a breast reduction, good for you! It’s no ones business. Have babies, love them like hell, and give them a nice warm bottle of formula. 🙂

    Post # 22
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2007 - City, State

    sparklez11909 :  my snarky oldest brother told me, when my second had really bad reflux, that breastfed babies don’t get reflux because his wife was nursing. Our kids were a couple weeks apart. My poor girl had the worst reflux for soooooooo long and was on alimentum and zantac. We don’t speak and it’s been over 6 years since that comment….but hes a real dick lol

    Post # 23
    Member
    7184 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    sf618b :  I love the people who generalize based on their one baby lol. I know plenty of breastfed babies who have reflux! I had people tell me I’d never sleep if I breastfed because formula keeps them fuller longer. Yea….she’s been doing 12 hour overnights since 2 months old without ever sleep training her (she’s 17 months now). She just likes sleep (wise beyond her years!).  All babies are different! 

    Post # 24
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    I had a reduction 8 years ago, and I’m currently in my third trimester. In talking to professionals I’ve been told that most people who have had reductions will still be able to breastfeed but that most need to pump as well to encourage regular milk production. Reduction or not, I’ve heard lots of reasons people were unable to nurse. If it doesn’t work out for you, like others said, simply saying you didn’t have enough milk supply/baby isn’t latching and prefer to ensure your baby is healthy/not losing weight should be a good enough reason for your in laws to leave you alone. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee

    No no no it would definitely not put me off having children. And I say that as someone who has a 4 months baby who is breastfed but I honestly wouldn’t have felt bad if I couldn’t have breastfed her. In fact I planned to have a go at breastfeeding but was quite happy with the idea of formula feeding too. I’d say 90% of the Mums I’ve met are formula feeding and if I do have another child I wouldn’t necessarily breastfeed again. 

    There is far more to having children than this, don’t let something so minor put you off it.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s been interesting reading everyone responses. The funny thing is as a breastfeeding Mum you can also receive snarky comments form those who don’t really get it. Like “why can’t you just leave baby with your Darling Husband for the evening like everyone else does?!” – err because he can’t feed her you eejit. Oh and as PP said the myths are just that, I also have an EBF baby who has always slept through the night, she did 8hr stretches from 2 weeks and now does 10-12hrs most nights. 

    Anyway my point is, as others have said, people will judge, comment, assume etc no matter what you do. So I’m the end you just do what’s best for you and what feels right to you.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    anonee008 :  Firstly bee, you don’t know for sure if you will or won’t be able to breastfeed.  Same as any other woman who is considering being a first time mum.  None of us know. 

    Secondly, there is at least one whole generation in the west that was formula fed, as they thought it was better at the time.  That generation came out fine. 

    Thirdly, my mum had a C-section and her milk never came in.  She was so adament about bf’ing (in a time when it wasn’t common) that she made me extremely sick by continuing to persist with it, when I wasn’t getting any nutrients (to be fair to her, she didn’t realise, they didn’t have lactation consultants back then).  I was switched to formula from about 1 week old and instantly started thriving.  As an adult I have no recollection of being bottle fed (obviously) and I am a perfectly normal adult.

    Fourthly, many people still continue to formula feed either because they can’t breast feed or they don’t want to.  Other than sometimes their babies are a little bigger (which is a GOOD thing for babies) you won’t be able to tell the difference. 

    Lastly, there are genuine benefits to bottle feeding, for mum and bubs.  Other people can feed bubs, giving mum a break and allowing others (especially dad) to have that special bond.  You can be more sure about how much they are getting, you don’t need to worry about pumping if you return to work etc etc etc.

    Fed is best. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    1422 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    Bee! I am a doctor, and I HATE the breastfeeding shame culture that has become prevalent in recent years! I have seen mothers driven to tears because they think they are harming their babies if they are unable to breast feed them, and it’s just absolutely not true! We don’t have ANY real evidence that breast fed children are healthier, smarter or at all better than formula fed children. In fact, what has been found, is that women of higher socioeconomic status are more likely to breast feed (likely because they have more breastfeeding support and are able to take time off work) and that explained why some studies have shown health and IQ benefits in breast fed babies. If you control for the mother’s income level and education level, there is actually NO difference in outcomes between children who were breast and bottle fed. 

    Do not let your ability or inability to breast feed determine whether or not you have a baby. You can still be a wonderful mother and raise a healthy happy child.

    Post # 29
    Member
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

    anonee008 :  Tina Fey called people who shame women about breastfeeding “teat nazis”

    Anyone who feels free to comment on a choice you have made with your body and in regards to your baby is OVER THE LINE

    As someone else said, you can be vague – you have “medical reasons” for not nursing. Anyone who pushes past that point is a git. 

    Breast is patently NOT always best. Personally, I probably would have been better off not being nursed. My mom smoked copious amounts of weed the entire time she breastfed me. I’m “fine” but who knows what effect that actually had? My daughter screamed relentlessly and had terrible digestive problems the entire time I nursed her which were immediately cured when she was weaned.

    And as an HH over here, I have complete sympathy for you. If you had needed a lumbar fusion which somehow made it impossible to bend over and pick up your baby, no one would give you any shit about it. They would acknowledge it was a physical limitation that you can and will work around. Just like this is. 

    Hang in there. It’ll be okay

    Post # 30
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    The best thing is what works.  My toddler is allergic to cow’s milk, and you would not believe all the info I have received about how “there is no acceptable alternative to cows milk for toddlers.”  Except that she would die if I gave her cow’s milk, so whatever.  She drinks other things, and she is fine.

    Breastfeeding was important to me but my daughter could not nurse.  I exclusive pumped for 14 months and then switched her to a non-dairy milk alternative.  If I had not been able to pump, I would have given her non-dairy formula.  Your kid will be fine if you don’t breastfeed.  I think most of the supposed differences are not even real.  The only possible benefit we may have had is that my child did not get sick at all until she was over a year old, but I am almost sure that had everything to do with not going to daycare, rather than anything she was eating.  Your child will be happy as long as he or she is fed.

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