(Closed) Had my first bridal meltdown.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@teacherin200829: see what you can do to “thin out” the foundation if it looks too brown. Sometimes if my face is still wet and I apply foundation I find that it applies much lighter/looks much better. Can you return unopened makeup (if you have any)? You want to look like you on your wedding day..just apply makeup with a light hand and practice practice practice! You DO have 5 weeks to practice your makeup and I would. That way on the day, you wont be stressed about making it work. 

Post # 4
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

Practice when you don’t have to be somewhere.  Give yourself loads of time to play with it.  And practice with cheap drugstore lashes.  Play some fun girly music or whatever you are into, and just play dress up without the stress of being late to your movie or anything.  Try to make it fun.  That is how I’ve always taught myself different makeup applications or hairdos.  If you do it for the first few times when you are on a timeline, you will inevitably mess up and get stressed.  My Fiance thinks I am crazy.  I gave myself a huge burn on my neck the last time I did a new hairstyle for the first time while we were getting ready for a wedding and I was running out of time.

Oh and if you need to, mix some light foundation in with your foundation.  You can add a bit of each to a tissue or saucer and mix them and test it on your hand until you find the right shade.

Post # 5
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like you went to a department store counter and got made up, correct? Can you just return the products and use that money to hire a good professional make up artist to do your make up that day???

Post # 6
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I only have one thing to say YOUTUBE. Go on Youtube and experiement with your makeup. Type in bridal makeup and you’ll find a bunch of tutorials on that kind of stuff. You’ll be fine. Breath, relax, and get to work on your beautiful makeup look.

Post # 7
Member
11 posts
Newbee

Your first mistake was asking a man how your makeup looks. They have NO clue when it comes to that kind of thing. I am sure it does match great and looks beautiful on you.

Worse comes to worse you can add some moisturizer to the makeup to thin it out and make it less thick. You could also get a lighter color foundation to blend with it if you truly think it is too dark.

I know you must be worried about everything but I am sure if you play around and practice with the makeup more you’ll be pleased with the end result. Lord knows it took me a LONG time to get the makeup looking exactly like how they put it on at the department store.

Best of luck …

Post # 8
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was going to second the YouTube comment…or perhaps take some time (when you have it) to play around with ONE aspect of the makeup. Practice perfecting one. The fake eyelashes I’ve heard are really hard to get the hang of, so maybe you can either find someone to help you with it on the big day or find a new kind of mascara and work on applying the eye shadow flawlessly.

As far as the rest, it just sounds like this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Cry It sucks your family isn’t being there for you. Do you think they might get more into it as the day gets nearer? 5 weeks is really close for us brides, but maybe not to them. I’m the last person to say this, but if they continue to not be supportive, you might have to say something to the effect of ‘hey, I’m getting married and it’s a lot of stress and pressure to be under. It would be so wonderful if everyone could pitch in a bit and support us – we’d appreciate it more than you know.’ I hope they would.

I’ve heard that RSVPing is always an issue for weddings….which sucks. Like, WHY CAN’T PEOPLE RSVP???? It’s normal protocol.

As far as the girly stuff and being pressed for money….always check Groupon or other local sales going on. I got a Groupon recently for $29 for a mani/pedi combo…whcih was 60% off the regular price. And as far as the too many people, I’m not sure if this always happens, but I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t actually go for the ceremony. It kind of sucks, but in your case might be a good thing. Or I wonder if they can accommodate a few more people like add chairs or ask some of the people you can trust/are comfortable with to stand? I know it’s a hard thing to do, but if I had a friend who was in the same situation I’d be more than happy to stand and watch the ceremony if it eased your stress.

I hope some of the crying helped you unleash some of the stress that’s built up. 5 more weeks and the stress will be all over.

Post # 9
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OMG I just laughed out loud at you kicking your feet and throwing yourself on the bed. I threw a fit where I was stomping my feet and crying because I was trying to get ready to go somewhere and no clothes looked good, my hair was gross, and my face looked awful. Fiance stood there and finally said, I AM NOT DOING THIS NOW. STOP IT. I was stunned out of my fit! And so embarassed.

Take a deep breath! What I do when I’m really stressed like you are is make a list, starting with the easiest stuff on top (so when I finish it I feel good) and the more important stuff next, and the least important stuff under that. Just pick a place and start. Don’t worry about the hair and make up. You will figure it out. If anything, just practice a million times on your own before the big day….or use youtube like a PP suggested. They have videos on there for hair, too.

You will get it all done, I promise.

Post # 10
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think all the PPs gave you good advice, so I’m just offering ((((((hugs))))))). You definitely need them. One of my girlfriends gave me the best advice when I was going through an impossibly stressful time: Somedays all you can do is just breathe. Just keep breathing.

Just focus. Take it baby steps. You’ll make it through it all, and at the end of the day, you’re going to marry the man you love and that’s what this is all for right? More ((hugs)).

Post # 11
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

All I have to add is when you practice your make up, take pictures of yourself in good light if possible. I thought my make up looked too heavy, but in photos (even just photos on my phone) it looked great! so take lots of pics of yourself, and that way it also helps you to see yourself differently.

Post # 12
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@violetmoon: I completely disagree. She was right to ask her Fiance, and he should have some say. She wants to look and feel beautiful on her wedding day. The last thing she wants is to be stressing over whether her new husband thinks she looks weird.

To the OP – here’s some blunt advice.

1. You didn’t like the makeup in the first place, when it was professionally applied. Contact the manager of the store/beauty department, tell them you felt pressured to buy makeup you didn’t really want, and return it. Be firm. 

2. Going over budget for catering or something is understandable. Going over budget on products you’re uncomfortable with and don’t know how to use is foolish. Don’t do it again. Stick to the makeup you normally use and are comfortable with. The PP who suggested YouTube tutorials gave sound advice. Watch a number of them until you find a look you really like, and then buy a couple of products if necessary (i.e., if you need a new shade of lipstick or eyeshadow). But don’t go overboard. DO take pictures of yourself in natural light and lamplight and adjust your makeup accordingly.

3. Deal with the catering and RSVP situations. Soon.

4. Reach out to your parents and your sister and tell them how you feel. Ask for their help. Tell them you need them. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself and waiting for them to come to you. If you try this (or have already tried this) and they aren’t stepping up, then ask another relative, the coworker you’re closest to, or your FI’s Mom to help you.

5. “The girly stuff.” Look, mani/pedis and cute shoes are nice, but they’re hardly wedding essentials. No one is going to see your feet. Either do your nails yourself or don’t worry about them. Your budget is clearly a concern, so don’t waste money on them. You don’t need a big manicure party to do them, either. Put on a couple episodes of a funny show you love, or light a few candles and listen to some relaxing music.

6. Hair: DIY, or get a talented bridesmaid/cousin/your sister to do it for you. There are tons of helpful YouTube tutorials on this as well. Do practice runs and get critiques/advice on the boards.

7. The most important thing of all. Take about 10 giant steps back and think about all this. You are marrying the man you love, surrounded by the people you love. That’s all that matters. This should be a time of reflection and happy anticipation, not meltdowns over fake eyelashes and manicures. All these things that you’re stressing about…they’re of no importance. None. So here’s an excerpt from Sara at 2000 Dollar Wedding, who puts things far better than I ever could:

“Dearest Bride-to-Be:

The 12-18 months of wedding planning will pass in a matter of hours or days. When it’s all said and done, the photos will be the primary artifact remaining.

My wish for you—when you look back at those photos—is for you to think:

Look at how relaxed I was. Fully present in the moment. Basking in it. Soaking it in. I was not saturated in stress.

My shoes and dress were comfortable enough for dancing. My beauty radiated out of me; it was not applied to me.

I got to spend quality time with my friends and family. I was myself, not a show. In fact, I was my fullest expression of self.

I do not remember whether the invitations were letterpress or whether the flowers at the ceremony were the same ones at the reception.

The wedding favors or the fanciness of the food did not make memories. The sincerity did. The connection did. The time together did.

It did not matter whether every last detail conformed to the signature colors. Instead of saying, “What a beautiful bouquet,” the guests said, “What a beautiful love.”

This is my wish to you, dear brides, as you pore over wedding magazines and read daily blogs. Some of it matters. Most of it does not. Casting your net in the wrong direction will most surely mean you miss the things you most dearly want to catch.

May your wedding be just one sincere, authentic, happiest day in a long line of many.”

I hope some of this is helpful. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Post # 13
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@teacherin200829: Where did you buy the makeup? I agree, a lot of places WILL take it back. I know Sephora will, even used. So will CVS for that matter. I bet others are the same, even if you have to call over a manager.

Doing your own makeup is NOT easy, and takes practice. Please don’t feel bad if you couldn’t do it immediately! I agree with Youtube, seeing a video over and over can be so helpful.

Post # 15
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@teacherin200829:I know how you feel.  I can never get my makeup to look the same way as the professional who did it looks.  I can’t even style my hair the same way my stylist does after a haircut.  It is so annoying. 

I would take back the makeup you don’t like.  Most stores provide good customer service and want to see you happy with your makeup purchase.  For example, I took back Estee Lauder foundation because I felt it looked too dark on me; the counter took the used/opened one back, no questions asked, and exchanged it for a new one. 

If you don’t want to worry about doing your makeup on your wedding day, you could always make an appointment at your local dept. store at one of the counters.  Usually, they make you buy one or two products max.  You can buy your lipgloss/lipstick and some eyeshadow and be set for touchups throughout the day.  You’ll probably be in and out under $50.  I know that you said that money is of a concern, so I’m not sure if this will work for you or not.

Good luck hun.  Try to relax and breathe!

 

ETA: Revlon makes a good eye liner.   I think its Colorstay.  I think it works better than alot of the higher end ones.

Post # 16
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@teacherin200829: Is there a reason you don’t want to have your makeup professionally done? for the amount of money you spent on that makup I’m sure you could get it professionally done

 

My makeup artist only costs $50 (i’m sure all that makup is about that cost) and you know it will look how you want it to look.

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