(Closed) Had my first bridezilla moment…who can relate?!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MKWeddingBee:  I think it’s fair that the pastor gives use of the Church as he sees fit – if he finds WW and AA to provide lasting worth to the community, you have to respect that.  Especially with AA, it’s important to have it in the same room since having simple directions to the meeting location can help people in a time of crisis.

Can you move around the ceremony start time?  Alternatively, could you talk to the group leaders and see if they are willing to work with you.  They might be perfectly happy to sit at a beautifully decorated table in their normal room.  I would be careful there to make sure it doesn’t seem like you are going over your pastor’s head.

Post # 4
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Maybe I am being unfair, but I think that’s just silly. I don’t see why having their meeting in another room in the same building one time would be an issue. I would be flustered as well. 

I would respectfully ask the priest if you are permitted to discuss with the group leader to get their blessing and see if they would mind. The AA/WW group leader may totally be fine with it. Are their meetings everyday? Maybe they’d even be willing that week to switch their meetingto the day before. Or as PP said, I am sure they wouldn’t mind sitting in a decorated room for their meeting. You could find out how many people attend and set up their normal chairs for them aside from you decorated tables so you’d only have to take down those chairs after the meeting and not mess with your decor. 

Good luck! I hope a compromise can be reached. But, I agree, I wish your pastor would be willing to at least attempt to work something out. 

Post # 5
1814 posts
Buzzing bee

There is no reason they can’t meet in a different room for one day.  I used to attend a few AA meetings with my brother (he wanted me to understand his alcoholism better and to strengthen my ability to not enable him).  A sign at the door saying today’s AA meeting will be held in room 104 isn’t going to make or break anyone sobriety or ability to get help if they need it.

Post # 6
6906 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

There may be contracts between these groups and the church— there usually are, because there’s all sorts of legal and liability issues when you allow meetings on your premises, and the church is probably collecting some sort of fee for use of those rooms. So it might not be as simple as ‘just ask AA or WW to use a different room.’ The church may be contractually obligated to provide that specific room, or there may be resources in/near those rooms that are spelled out in the contract such as stair-free access to a restroom.  

I would actually wonder why the pastor or church secretary allowed the wedding to be booked, knowing that the exact same space was already in use by another group.

OP it’s still worth asking the pastor to look into possibly moving those folks to another room, but don’t get bent out of shape if they say No.  You may have to explore alternate decorations that can be set up and taken down very quickly, or hire someone to put up the decoration after the meetings are done. You can probably get a couple of high school kids to do that for you fairly cheaply.

Post # 8
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MKWeddingBee:  Just because they aren’t on the calendar doesn’t mean they aren’t scheduled. The Church may have a written contract specifying access to the room until 2018, but they don’t update their calendar more than a year out.

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