Post # 1
Long story short, Darling Husband broke his toe yesterday and was in pain. His dress shoes must have been very uncomfortable, because he barely said a word throughout dinner. The bride was one of my students, and it was a beautiful wedding, but we ducked out after the cake cutting, toasts, and first dances. Lights were still up, and they hadn’t done the garter or anniversary dance yet, and I feel so bad…
If you were me, would you send the bride an email, or just leave it alone until I physically see her next? She was busy taking photos by the family tables when we left, and I didn’t want to interrupt to say goodbye.
Wedding started at 5pm, and we left at 8:30pm. It was about 120 people in a hotel ballroom, so not tiny and intimate.
All suggestions welcome!
Post # 3
Don’t think I’d send an email – maybe I’d say something next time I saw her in person. Honestly, cake cutting is the universal sign that the wedding is over, isn’t it? If she had a 4-hr reception (which is normal, unless there’s cocktail hour, in which case it’s 5 hrs), then it would have ended around 9 anyway.
Post # 4
@MrsLongcoatPeacoat: Either way you are fine. You stayed for the meal and the cake cutting. That to me is it.
But I don’t think it would be remis to say something either.
May I ask why you didn’t find her and say good bye, and let her know then what the situation was? I do think that would have been the best course of action.
Post # 5
I would phone or email as soon as possible to tell them how much you enjoyed the wedding and apologizing for leaving early. That would give you the opportunity to explain about DH’s toe.
To be completely honest, I would have waited until I could catch her attention for a moment before leaving. I was raised that it is rude to leave any social event without saying goodbye to the hosts.
Post # 6
It would depend on how close I was to the bride, but I most likely wouldn’t say anything.
Post # 7
To be honest, I doubt she even noticed. It was her wedding day. You didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t think it was rude whether or not your husband was injured. That isn’t super early and you stayed for the meal + cake.
If you feel uncomfortable, I might tell her in person, but I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. And I wouldn’t call her or make a big deal about it.
Post # 8
It is up to you. But normally people will just remember you were there. Not if you were there until the end. In the case of events where there’s a lot of people and family to speak to, it is unlikely she would remember you left early. And if you add to that that probably people had a few drinks, well maybe you don’t need to send that email. But it’s up to you and make you feel comfortable.
Maybe as another bee suggested wait until you see her again and tell her what happened. Hope your husband’s toe heals well.
Post # 9
@andielovesj: I did seek her out, but she was by the family tables (most of whom had flown in from Korea) and they were taking turns taking photos with her and the groom. I pulled her mom aside and said my goodbyes and thank yous to her.
@julies1949: That’s why I’m so conflicted–I was raised the same way too, but Darling Husband was in visible pain and I felt so bad for him too.
@blueEyes90: I’m hoping that’s the case! On my own wedding day, after the meal, everything was kind of a blur.
Thanks for all of the input! They’re leaving tomorrow for their honeymoon for two weeks, so timing is a bit awkward.
Post # 10
Unless you are part of her immediate family or best friends I highly doubt she noticed.
Post # 11
I think saying something in person would be better than an email (more personal), but am not sure if saying something will be necessary.
Post # 12
I had so many people at our wedding that I wouldn’t have even noticed if someone left early!
Post # 13
I would say something. Just a quick note or call to let her know you had a great time and to say thank you.
We had a few people leave our wedding early who did not say goodbye/thank you, and I found it hurtful.
Obviously you had a good reason for leaving and you mentioned tried to say goodbye, so that is good. However I’d still send an e-mail or something just to let her know.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t say anything. I doubt she even noticed. I know I didn’t think anything of people who left earlier. Maybe just tell her how much you enjoyed the wedding next time you see her.
Post # 15
I don’t think it would hurt anything to send a note telling her how much you enjoyed the day and explaining why you had to leave earlier than you would have liked.
Post # 16
you said goodbye and thank you to the mom, it’s not like you ducked out without saying goodbye.
I would just let it go.