Post # 46
Wow, how rude of your Maid/Matron of Honor to try to demand/dictate her own gift! Personally I would love for the bride to pay for hair and makeup. Maybe it’s just where I live but I wouldn’t expect extra gifts.
Post # 47
Bridesmaids’ gifts are not the reason people agree to be bridesmaids. Hopefully, they agree to be a bridesmaid because they care a lot about the bride and are honored to be apart of her special day. I’ve been in two weddings. And for neither of them did I come in expecting to have the bride pay for my hair & makeup or for a gift. In the first wedding, my hair styling was paid for and the gifts were accesories to complete the Bridesmaid outfit (headband & gloves which I will never wear again.) In the second wedding, I paid for my hair and makeup and the gift was a flask (which I never used).
If people are underwhelmed with their bridemaid gifts, they’ve got their priorities out of line.
For the record, I plan on paying for my bridesmaids’ hair and makeup. And I’ve giving the girls matching necklaces.
Post # 48
- Wedding: November 2021 - Long Island, NY
I didn’t receive a bridesmaid gift in the last wedding I was in nor did the bride pay for hair and makeup, I didn’t expect anything so no big deal. However, if the bride decided to cover the cost for our hair and makeup to be professionally done then I would have been really happy with that. I think this is really a know your crowd type of thing. The fact that your Maid/Matron of Honor is asking for gifts is pretty rude though.
Post # 49
I think that it depends on the situation. I live in an area where bridal and bridal party hair and make up costs a lot. It is really kind of you to offer that as a “gift” because that would be one less thing that your girls have to pay for.
If your bridesmaids have chipped in a lot of money throughout the entire process, I would say that an additional gift that isn’t wedding related would show them your appreciation and gratefulness for their support. I have 5 bridesmaids (including MOH- my sister). I am paying for the bouquets, and dresses of two (sister and young cousin), and half of a dress for a third girl (who mentioned that her budget was $100 for a dress). None of the girls have pitched in any money for any events, and so far I have planned and coordinated everything. I don’t mind that because I’m the type who likes to do things herself. In my situation, I think that paying for hair and makeup plus maybe a little extra something would be appropriate enough. I definitely won’t be buying them baskets of goodies from Sephora though.
Post # 50
I think everyone would agree that your friend does not agree to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a gift. I think offering to pay for hair and makesup is a great gift! Personally, I am crap at doing my own hair/makeup so I’m going to get everything professionally done anyway whether the bride pays for it or not. I have enough jewelry, I will never wear that robe ever again, and makeup is a personal choice for people so probably best to stay away.
You did the right thing by asking your BMs if you would want them to do their hair as a gift. Some people have friends who have the gift of doing their hair and makeup and looking that would not be appropriate for and I would say get them a personalized bottle of wine or something that they’ll use. If not, I’m sure your BMs would appreciate not having the pressure of doing their own hair and makeup and of not having to pay $200 out of their own pocket. Plus it feel great to be pampered!
Post # 51
Just going to point out that a gift basket from Sephora is going to cost you an arm and a leg! I think it could end up costing more than a bridesmaid dress.
I think offering to pay for hair and makeup is generous. I couldn’t afford it so I got mine a couple nice but small gifts.
I think it’s rude that she even brought up a gift. I thought it was supposed to be a nice surprise and a thank you. Is she usually like this or did she have an off day? Are they spending a grip of cash to be in your wedding?
Post # 52
Everyone’s in the wrong here. She was greedy to make assumptions about the gift and how much you planned to spend; it’s totally inappropriate to ask or hint for an expensive gift (or a gift at all, really!). And wedding hair/make-up is definitely not a gift—it’s for the benefit of your event and photos, not the recipients. Giving someone a gift certificate for hair/make-up services to use whenever they want = gift. Appointments for those services to be used at your wedding = no real benefit for the recipient, who may well have preferred to do their own or had no plan for professional services unless they were paid for.
Post # 53
Also, while I think paying for hair/make-up is definitely not a gift, it still is a nice thing to do. It’s expensive and demanding to be in weddings, so it’s nice when the couple defrays some of the considerable costs. Most bridal party gifts are annoying or useless, so defraying costs is often better than a gift. It’s just not a gift because it’s not chosen for the tastes and pleasure of the recipient—it just mitigates the financial obligations the bride is obligating them to.
Post # 54
I’ve been a bridesmaid 8 times and I think hair and makeup is a great gift! Especially when it’s so expensive. Truth be told I can’t tell you what I did with any of the personalized stuff that I’ve received for bridesmaid gifts, and everyone wants to look their best when they’re having their picture taken so much, it’s not just for your benefit!
Post # 55
I don’t consider it a gift, since it’s expected that the bride either pays for that stuff, or allows the BMs to do their own hair and makeup. However, I also don’t expect a gift at all.
Post # 56
I’m going to go against the tide: Hair and makeup is a great gift–for those looking to participate! I have been a bridesmaid several times and I can say that the added expense of hair and makeup can be a little jarring. Also, I am *not* one to do my own hair or makeup. I have been in a wedding where the bride did not offer hair or makeup and frankly, I was more annoyed by this. She did it to “save us money”, but I am not great with my makeup and couldn’t do anything fancy to my hair, so I looked rather plain that day and self-concious about it.
So, while I will say that I would absolutely appreciate a bride who took care of this for me, it only works if all of the girls would have gotten both done. If you have a girl who wants neither, then it’s kind of like she’s not really involved.
Also, your Maid/Matron of Honor was very rude to suggest you get the girls something else–however, I do slightly agree. While the hair and makeup is very generous of you, I’d think of something else very small. Even a new lipgloss and a card or a card and Essie nail polish or something.