Post # 1
My cousin and her husband own a salon a few miles away from our venue and most of my bridesmaids (and me!) are from out of town. I just blocked off the morning for updo’s and make up.
I’ve asked around and my cousin and one of my BMs who is a wedding planner said that asking the girls to pay is totally normal. Are you asking your girls to pay to get their hair and make up done? Are you having a hair and or make up person and making it optional? If so, how did you approach your girls about it?
While my BMs have told me several times that they are fine paying for expensive dresses etc I’m just not sure how to approach the hair/make up. Note that my wedding is in Fairfield County CT and updos are $90/make up $50. I want them all to be there as it is our "getting ready" location. They can also book an updo and just get a blowout ($50). Unfortunately the price is actually cheap for the area.
Post # 3
I’ve been grappling with this myself. I’ve never had to pay for my own hair and make-up at the weddings I’ve been in, but then again my friends know that I would simply opt not to get those things done given the choice!
I’m actually looking at flying in my hairstylist… I don’t know if I could afford his flight, accomodations, fees for my hair, and then for all the other girls as well. I haven’t come up with a good solution at all yet! I think I will probably err on the side of paying for the girls, mostly because they are like me and generally don’t get hair or makeup done… but I’m not sure.
Post # 4
Do you want your BMs to get their hair and makeup done or are you okay with them doing it themselves? If you want them to get it done, then you should pay for it. If you are making it an option, then I would say "If you guys are interested in getting your hair and makeup done, here are the prices. Let me know if you are interested so I can set up the appointment." That would make it obvious that they need to pay for it themselves.
Post # 5
I took a vote from my ladies, saying "I would love to pay for everything but I can’t. Would you prefer to do your own hair or your makeup?" I think they liked being able to choose and they all voted for hair. Which is good because I actually thought it might be easier to pay the makeup artist for more time, but then I would have done something that they didn’t want/need.
Post # 6
I talked out the pricing with my hair and makeup artist to get the best deal I could, then gave my BMs the option to get it done and pay for themselves or just have one of us help them out. I paid for the dresses instead since I didn’t give them much of a choice in it. haha
Post # 7
I think asking them is normal, you just have to be prepared for any of them to say "I can’t do that right now, I think I’ll just do it myself". Maybe your friends are good at their own hair and make-up, but if they are like one of my friends, they will show up looking a hot mess. At which point you had better be prepared to pay for their make up.
Post # 8
Asking your BM’s to pay for their own hair and makeup is normal. They don’t have to do it if they don’t want to, but give them the option. Telling them that you have booked both for their use if they would like, and that it is $$ and $$ for their services. Enough said!
Post # 9
You really only have two options:
(1) you can let them know that if they want their hair and make-up done they can make appointments at the salon and set out the costs. (I believe this to be the norm).
(2) Or you can say – ladies, I’d love for you to get your hair/make-up done if you’re comfortable with that and I will foot the bill for whoever wants to take me up on the offer.
All the wedding I have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in I had the option to get mine done and I have gotten it done and paid for it myself. At my own wedding I gave the girls the option and I paid for whoever wanted it done. 3 did, 2 did their own.
Post # 10
I agree with the other posts. It seems like a pretty good consensus on these BM hair threads that the bottom line is:
If you are insisting, you should pay.
If you are simply offering to set up services as an option, then it is fine for them to pay.
I wasn’t sure from your post if you are simply setting up to offer, or really wanting the girls to have hair and make up professionally done. I think the standard American practice is that BMs understand that typically they pay for their dresses, shoes, and things like the shower, bachelorette party, and gifts. Hair and make up is still in the air. That might be because hair and makeup are things some women can do successfully themselves. Honestly, if a bride insisted I get my hair and make up done, and insisted I pay for it, I’d probably push back. (Yikes!) I would pobably tell her I didn’t budget for it. But then again, I’m pretty good with hair.
Post # 11
I have always paid for hair and makeup myself. My wedding is very formal so getting hair done was implied. I however told them that getting their makeup done was up to them and I did not want to pressure them into spending more money than they are comfortable with. All of them want to do it. I think they are just so excited for the wedding that they don’t care. Plus I’m paying for their shoes, jewelry, a bridesmaids luncheon and have bought them pretty expensive gifts so I don’t feel bad about it.
Post # 12
I asked my bridesmaids if they would be interested in getting their hair/makeup done and told them I had found someone who was willing to come to our hotel room to do their hair/makeup and I just wanted to see if anyone was interested. I made it clear that this is something i was not requiring, but an option. I sent around an initial e-mail to see if anyone was interested, and surprisingly, almost everyone was for getting their hair done. That being said, I’m going to be paying the deposit for services, and they will just pay the rest day of. As much as I would like to pay for them all to have hair done, it’s not an option for me and they are fine with that.