(Closed) HAIR DILEMNA-TO RELAX OR NOT TO RELAX?!?! HELP.ME.!!!

posted 6 years ago in African-American
Post # 3
Member
478 posts
Helper bee

If you feel more comfortable with fake hair, why not wear fake hair close to your natural texture and style it an elegant way for your wedding?

 

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Welcome! I actually bit the bullet and relaxed in June after transitioning for a year and it was for similar reasons. I am going to get a sew in but I knew if a hint of sweat popped up my hair (I do partials) would poof and I want a natural look. I am okay with my decision as I am only doing relaxers quarterly until my wedding day. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It depends.  If thing you will regret relaxing, don’t do it.  You’ll loose all of your natural porgress and have to start all over.  On the other hand, it sounds like you know what you want and can’t get that with your natural hair, so maybe you should relax (gasp).  Now, if it were me, I would opt to stay natural but I love wearing fros and don’t really like the smooth look.  But for you, I would go with a less drastic option and just relax your edges.  

Post # 8
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You could consider having a silk closure with your weave so that you get the look of a natural part. It wouldn’t be a “cheap” solution but you can have a full sew in with the loon you want

Post # 9
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Maybe you could snap a close up picture of your hair and what it looks like now? It’ll prpbably help with the suggestions….

Post # 10
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@fefe1913:  I know nothing about weaves or anything like that but my advice is to not go with anything that you’ve never done before just in case it ends in disaster. Same w. facial products or anything that could turn out badly. I’d go with whatever is lowest maintenance.

Sorry I can’t offer more suggestions!

Post # 14
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@fefe1913:  So I can completely relate! I just relented and relaxed my hair for the first time since April ’11… I was going back and forth over what to do with my hair as it doesn’t hold curl and humidity is my arch nemesis LOL. I was (and probably still will) do some clip in extensions – especially for the holding curl aspect, but couldn’t imagine how my edges would look or how I would pull off the days before/after the wedding…  I wasn’t ‘going natural’ for any particular reason other than not liking how anyone in my new area did hair so I was forced to do it at home myself and don’t trust to put my own relaxer in. Besides, I found it suited my laziness just fine to pull back in a bun or put on a wig. Tongue Out

 

In the end, if you aren’t going to regret it, then throw the “creamy crack” in it and know what you will be dealing with in FL. We are getting married in DR and attended a friend’s wedding in Cancun a few months ago who is natural and put in extensions. This is just my personal opinion, but we got her pics back (and although she is SUPER gorgeous, I mean model like) I could not help but look at her edges in the pics and cringe just a little inside… Call me superficial but these pics will last forever and I don’t want to go through the next 50 years looking at the pics like ‘why didn’t I just relax my daggone hair?”

Post # 15
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am a natural, the only thing I don’t do is mess with my hair using irreversible (permanant colour, relaxers, etc) things as I tend to dislike the upkeep of extra treatments etc.

The ONLY reason I stopped relaxing initially was the upkeep, I spent a holiday in Jamaica trying to get my hair to behave and it just refused to (with a relaxer) I was straightening and blowdrying constantly and it was a stress. I mean, I was blow drying, straightening and then curling irons occasionally- ugh it was work, and if I sweated or was somewhere slightly warm it was all futile and reverted. I had the exact same issues back home and just thought it wasn’t worth it. There was no situation relaxed hair was better in.

I prefer my natural hair now and I do find it more manageable, but it still is WORK to keep it looking polished on special occassions. For my own wedding hairstyle  I will press it out, gel it down and have some extension added for a enhanced updo. I’ll then enjoy wearing buns and wash and go on honeymoons.

 If you are not fussed about the upkeep on honeymoon, how about leaving a parting out of your weave? I find just using a ceramic iron as effective as a permanant relaxer. I did this for a while and it looked good, but I can’t lie, not so great for updos. Have you considered a Brazillian blowdry? It could give you the straight-ness without the permanancy and losen the curls for the honeymoon. It is a temporary fix. You do have time to try it and see, but  If you really want a  polished look in photos, you may have to give in to the relaxer!

Wish I was more help! :/

 

Post # 16
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have a silk based closure from onyc.com. I was kind of hesistant at first because I always feel like full sew ins look so wiggy and fake but this one really looks graat. It was very pricey though, but that was the only way I can get the look I am going for in the front. You can part it anywhere you like and it really does look like your scalp and I have NO hair left out. Maybe later on today I will post some pics..

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