- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
After a totally disasterous hair & makeup trial, I need advice on how to handle what is now tricky situation without upsetting anyone too much. Apologies now for the long rant and insane number of pictures!
I have a friend who worked for many years as a professional hairdresser. She did very well in this line of work and ended up managing a big salon. So when she offered to do my hair and makeup for my wedding for free, I was over the moon! It seemed like a great idea to have someone I know and trust doing it rather than a total stranger. Plus it wouldn’t cost me a single penny. Score!
However…this weekend we did a trial and it was so bad I barely know where to start. I should stress that I really want to handle this situation delicately and tried to contain my disappointment at the time of the trial so as to avoid upsetting her.
First of all, here is my normal, minimalist-makeup every day look:
For the wedding, I wanted my makeup to look light and natural – like me but on a really good day. I also wanted to make my eyes a nice feature without being over the top. Something like this:
What I ended up with was something that resembled this:
It was a style that looked like it belonged on someone twice my age and really didn’t suit me at all. The eyeshadow was too messy for my liking, the blusher was too intense, there was no contouring to my face or cheekbones…it was horrific.
The hair was just as bad. I have very fine, soft hair with a slight natural wave but it’s super long. Because the length adds weight and my hair is so soft, I didn’t want to add curls or lots of waves because my hair just doesn’t hold style well. My inspiration was the long, flowing, medieval-inspired hair seen in pre-raphaelite paintings like this:
I was told to put my hair in a braid the day before and keep it like that to get more waves. Whilst I hated the idea of not washing my hair on the day, I did what I was told. She used some curling tongs to “add more definition” and parted my hair on the opposite side from my usual parting. That was it. I asked for a couple of times for a couple of small braids from either side going around the back to add a little interest interest but she wasn’t up for that at all.
So my hair fell flat very quickly, going from wavy to frizzy rat tails. The result looked something like this:
So here’s the hard bit…how do I tell my friend that I hated it?
I genuinely don’t know how to tell her that I no longer want her to help with my hair and makeup. I desperately don’t want to upset her because she is a good friend and was so kind to offer to help me out, but I just can’t look like that on my wedding day. I honestly believe I could do a better job myself.
Should I somehow tell her that I’d prefer to do my own makeup, but try and find someway for her to still help a bit with my hair so she feels that I sncerely appreciated her offer to help? Should I just totlly up front about it? I can’t afford a professional to help, so I can’t use that as an excuse and I don’t like to lie.
What on earth should I say to her? Help!