(Closed) Half my bridal party bailed yesterday! :(

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsCoachBtoBee:  I haven’t experienced this but it’s hard  too give you advie without a little more info.  What is the “something they were aware of”.  Was it something like the cost of the dress… or something like they don’t support your marriage?

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow, if it’s a scheduling thing I definitely understand why you would be disappointed.  They absolutely should have sorted that out before agreeing to be in your bridal party.  Just try to look on the bright side and be happy that they stepped down now when you have plenty of notice rather than waiting until the weeks before the wedding!

Post # 6
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

They should have thought this out in advance. However, they may not have realized the committment of the bar exam course, along with studying for the bar and the committment required for the wedding. It sounds like they were only 2Ls when you asked them. Reality might have set in since then. The bar exam class is important. Studying for the bar is very stressful because it is one test administered only 2x per year. It’s very important for their career. There are a lot of costs associated with this too. Maybe they couldnt afford everything? It’s just a very stressful and uncertain time. I understand you are disappointed – rightfully so. However, I would cut them some slack for the sake of your friendship. Your wedding isnt for another year. Can you ask someone else? Can you return their gifts? Or possibly use them for another purpose?

Post # 8
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Aww I’m so sorry you are going through this. I had a bridesmaid bail but it was early enough before most of the stuff was bought. Can you try selling the extra’s or repurposing the flowers for something else? Best of luck and hugs!

Post # 9
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well the good thing is you are still far out from your wedding. You still have time to ask two more friends.

I wouldn’t be pissed because it’s the bar exam. Maybe they just found out when it was going to be for next year. My MOH’s twin brother took the bar and he basically went underground to study. Seriously he turned off his phone and focused on that.

Anyway, at least they let you know a little less than a year out and not a few months before.

Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry this is happening.  As a person who has taken and passed the bar exam, I can say that if it’s the first weekend of bar review, and they’re local, they probably are not missing any classes.  The first weeks are really not that stressful.  I know from experience that the first weekend of studying can successfully be missed!  I don’t know if you’d feel comfortable with this, but maybe suggest they talk with people who have taken (and passed) the bar exam recently to get their opinions on the class and time committment.  I think they might be surprised to find that generally, people live relatively normal lives up to about July 1, then it gets really crazy!  I find myself talking our interns off a ledge on the regular about this same topic.  Yes, it’s very important, and yes, it’s worth focusing on, but I don’t think it’s worth it to the extent of skipping other of life’s milestones.  Good luck.

Post # 13
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Im so sorry!! This stinks… 

Post # 14
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MrsCoachBtoBee: I just saw your reply.  Best of luck with the bar!  Feel free to PM me if you need, I know it can be tough when you’re surrounded with others in the same boat and need a fresh perspective.

Post # 15
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ditto animal crackers.  The first weekends are NBD. I started cracking down around the end of June, and in July I went “underground”. 

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