- 9 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I am currently having the same issues and came here to look for support because talking to people involved isn’t helping much. They keep saying to focus on the people that are coming, but it doesn’t help much when those coming are almost all from the grooms side, not my own. His side is all there to support him, but mine is not. I moved here to be closer to my grooms side of the family as they are people that we will get support from when we start building a family, and yes, it is a 12 hour drive away (1.5 hour flight) from my family and friends, but I still dont think that the cost, distance, etc is any excuse for people not to come. Seeing people make excuses for others only infuriates me more; especially when you are the person that spends the time and money to go home/travel to see them 2-3 times a year and they haven’t been out to see you. I know they can all afford it, that they do not have kids with year end things going on and I sent out invites 6 months in advance so that they could prepare for the short trip (save money, make arrangements, etc) and reserve the date well ahead of time. The girl that made the orignal post seems to have been feeling the exact same way I am and hearing “focus on the positive” over and over does not solve anything. It doesn’t change the fact that your own family and friends that you have invested a lot of your own time and money in are choosing not to be there for you on what is supposed to be “your big day”, but is now turning out to be “your not-so-big day”. We only invited 120 people thinking about 80 would actually be able to make it, but as it turns out, it is mainly only my fiance’s family that live in the area and that we get together with numerous other times of the year that are coming. It doesn’t feel like anything special or out of the ordinary…. :(. They also just decided to have a birthday party with the same people the day after our wedding! I feel like we should just run away and do it by ourselves to save ourselves the embarrassment of a lame wedding day. Those saying to “shake it off” and not to shed any tears- that is great advice, but mind telling me HOW to do that? HOW to forget the fact that you don’t get to have the nice, special day with all your family and friends that you have dreamt of for years? My only thought at this point is that I am going to need a lot of liquor to feel comfortable even getting out there to do this and would much rather run off with the love of my life to do it on our own (he doesn’t care about putting on a party for his family to watch us either…)!