(Closed) Hall Pass for bachelor/bachelorette party? Thoughts?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Fuck no. Even your explanation of your relationship doesn’t make me think a hallpass is necessary.. So you have sex with someone else, and then what? If you were worried about the quick progression of your relationship, I personally think you should’ve put the brakes on earlier. 

In my relationship, we’ve been committed to each other well before we were engaged, a hall pass is an enraging concept. 

Now.. If you want an open relationship that involves screwing other people, you should probably have that conversation with your Fiance before you get married so he’s aware of how you feel about monogamy. 

Post # 48
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

No 

Post # 49
Member
4691 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

ana2017 :  I don’t understand your logic. Don’t let your own issues and insecurities with cheating affect your relationship.  I think you have deeper issues and perhaps the cheating that led to divorce in your grandparents’ lives, your parents own marriage have skewed your own views.

Instead of pre-emptively guessing that your Fiance will definitively cheat on you someday or will be so BORED with you that he will want to to cheat, why don’t you get some therapy? A good therapist can help you work out your insecurities and you won’t shadow your marriage with them. It’s not healthy to have these thoughts and no amount of “hall passes” will make someone stay in an unhappy marriage/relationship.  

Your Fiance is 40, secure, and has an amazing example of a marriage that works and has been strong for 42 years.  You “doubt that”. I don’t think he needs a hall pass or other options as you need help with your fears. You are deflecting your own insecurities onto him and making up future problems that don’t even exist.

I think that him being older and mature he knows what he wants and is staying firm. Im sure he wants the same kind of marriage as his parents, not a wife that keeps bringing up threesomes and fun on the side.

You on the other hand I don’t think are ready for marriage.  Perhaps it went to fast, you’re still open to seeing other people and enjoying hall passes, you seem to really doubt the sanctity of marriage and faithfulness. Why get married? Just enjoy yourself, keep dating and don’t close your options.  

Post # 51
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m so confused, isn’t a hall pass just permission to go out with your friends? That’s what I thought anyway, urban dictionary agrees. So I think a bachelor party kind of comes with a built in hall pass, unless you invite your fiance…

Post # 52
Member
4691 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

jennmariee :  no. It gives you permission to sleep with someone other than your SO. 

Post # 54
Member
2877 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Yeah, no. 

I can’t see how a hall pass could ever add to a relationship but it most definitely could destroy it. 

No thanks. 

Edited to add: I think you’re ultimately looking for someone to fully agree with you so you feel justified about feeling that way. I don’t really understand the whole “I can sleep with women because I prefer both but my Darling Husband could never sleep with a woman” thing but that’s really whatever, your relationship=your boundaries, but I REALLY don’t understand why you would ever want to sleep with someone else right before you marry your Fiance. If you didn’t want your relationship to progress so quickly, you could have put on the breaks long before now. I honestly don’t think you should be getting married if you are thinking about sleeping with other people so much that you feel the need to post on a forum about it…

Post # 55
Member
3459 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

KC-2722 :  Fuck no about sums it up for me. Fiance feels the same, case closed.

Post # 56
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

lifeisbeeutiful :  

ana2017 :  Ok so I did more research and evidently both are true. It used to mean hanging with friends instead of doing things for your SO, think watching the game with your buddies instead of cleaning the garage, but I guess some movie came out in 2010 that coopted the term and included sex. So basically if your SO’s knowledge of slang hasn’t been updated since 2010 and he asks for a hall pass don’t flip your shit just yet.

Post # 58
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

In the words of the late and great Ms. Whitney Houston…

 

HELL TO THE NO!!!

 

I’m even wary of the whole stripper thing for bachelor party. Even that gets a major side eye.

Post # 59
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

No. If I was with someone who felt the need or even the desire to be with someone else, I would seriously reconsider our entire relationship.

I feel like my SO and I have already completely committed ourselves to each other. Marriage is just the final commitment, the legal and public commitment, but still the commitment that marks several other commitments already made. To give a hall pass is to negate our commitments that we’ve already made, the past that we’ve built together. Totally unneccessary, and it degrades everything that has come before.

So no. Definitely no.

Post # 60
Member
7201 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

ana2017 :  For us that’s a hard no. I wasn’t single until I the day I was married. I hadn’t been single for years before that. We had been in a commited relationship and it was never ok for us to have sex (or anything even remotely close to it) with anyone for that entire time. I totally don’t understand the “it’s your last night of freedom” mentality. If fucking strangers is freedom, you haven’t been free for a while anyway .

The topic ‘Hall Pass for bachelor/bachelorette party? Thoughts?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors