(Closed) Hallelujah, my future in-laws LOVE me! What did you do to win over the in-laws?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Did you do anything to win over the future in-laws?
    Nope-I was just me : (72 votes)
    95 %
    Yes- I changed my behaviour : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Yes-I changed how I dressed : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Yes- I changed my hair style/colour : (0 votes)
    Yes- I changed religion/ accepted their culture : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1595 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    all i had to do was be jewish

    Post # 5
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Still a waiting bee… so I am hoping once that’s official, and we start doing more things with our respective families together, they will come to like me. Currently I am just the girlfriend that “isn’t who we envisioned you with,” but they can’t name or describe that ideal person. Sigh. If only it were as “easy” as religion. I can’t change all of me ๐Ÿ™

    Post # 6
    Member
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 1993

    <crickets chirping>

     

    I didn’t do anything except watch my mouth.

    Post # 7
    Member
    927 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My Mother-In-Law loves me. She told my future sister-in-law that I would marry her son the first time she met me ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 8
    Member
    3968 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @QBbride:  Gosh I am so jealous of all of you!

    Post # 9
    Member
    5546 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Well, they do like me, even love me I would say. But they would love me better if I were an ultra conservative who didn’t believe “liberal” things about God, like that the politic-ing isn’t are important as the loving and serving parts or if I agreed my sister was almost a heratic for being a different *gasp* charismatic denomination (who By The Way share ALL basic tenets) and SHE is getting ordained as a pastor . My family (who I would consider all intelligent, moral, ethical, and well spoken) are kind of a joke because we aren’t hard line conservative like Father-In-Law so he loves to make snide comments about us/them. Made worse by the fact SIL and her family all are the same kind of conservative as Father-In-Law…. She is the golden girl with their first born and Darling Husband and I are just…. Not. Tragically I refuse to change who I am for them, well, tragic for them.

    Post # 10
    Member
    959 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I voted for “Nope, was just me” ๐Ÿ™‚ I was just myself when I met his parents and we met when my Fiance and I were getting to know each other. I can honestly say my Father-In-Law love me even FI’s extended family.

    Post # 11
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m 43, so no changing for anyone!

    Future In-Laws don’t like me, take your pick from the following for the reasons: Divorced, health problems, no family. 

    They – particularly Future Father-In-Law – are very judgemental. Totally different from my ex ILs, who I always got on with.  Sadly ex Mother-In-Law died last year, and I do sincerely miss her. 

    To be honest, after a decade of getting on great with my ILs, my experience with FI’s parents has a been a real shock…and a massive disappointment. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    7606 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I was just the slightly more polite version of myself!

    Post # 13
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I also was surprised by how much Fil in law likes me, he is laid back old School Southern Wasp and I am East Coast liberal kind of first generation black mix. He does think my politics  and some of my personal ideas are wonky but he seems to like me anyways. I love my Future Mother-In-Law too, she is very warm and cuban southern belle type. I think often times  if you try to too hard to impress them you come off as being disingenuous and fake. Then there are the people who hate whomever their kid brings homes and there really no point in trying.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My fiance is his mother’s only son, and his aunt has kind of taken him on as a son (she doesn’t have any children). His family adores him & he’s been out of the state/country for almost 7 years until now. I think my “allowing” him to move back to his home state won them over before I even met them! lol. It was definitely an advantage at the very least. I love his family, though, they’re great & very generous to us/me.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7649 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My Future In-Laws liked me, especially my Future Mother-In-Law. My Future Father-In-Law is a little difficult. I had to win him over by teasing him a lot, which works for our relationship, so although he complains about me teasing him all the time, he always smiles and dishes it back. My Future Sister-In-Law and I unfortunately had a very rocky past few months because of the wedding, but we are civil now and able to communicate. We care about each other, we just don’t like each other sometimes. But overall, I am happy with my in-laws and they are happy with me ๐Ÿ™‚

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