(Closed) hand written personal vows or traditional vows?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: At your wedding ceremony, did you...
    Write your own vows : (15 votes)
    41 %
    Use the traditional vows : (18 votes)
    49 %
    other : (4 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 2
    1770 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We wrote our vows and it added a very special touch to our wedding.  It’s a bit awkward in front of everyone but SO worth it! 🙂

    Post # 3
    7905 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Personal vows are popular now, but Darling Husband and I felt that traditional vows broadly encapsulated all that we wanted to promise to each other. It was still sentimental and lovely. 

    Post # 4
    931 posts
    Busy bee

    Some couples write and read letters to each other instead of writting own vows. We did write our own and I wouldnt have had it any other way. I loved that his promises were his, and mine were mine.

    Post # 5
    156 posts
    Blushing bee

    We’re using traditional vows.  I suggested it as a way to help his mother feel better about us not having a church wedding.  But I also like the idea that marriage isn’t something new and different we’re doing, but rather I see it as joining an institution that people have found valuable for hundreds of years, and the idea of doing the same vows people have done for decades really appealed to me for that reason.  Both of our parents are still happily married after 30+ years, which definitely adds to this feeling.

    Post # 6
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I love the idea of personal vows, but I think ultimately it depends on the couple. Fiance is a pretty private person and he would not feel comfortable gushing in front of everyone. We are writing letters, to tell each other our sentiments and promises privately. 

    Post # 7
    9130 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    We said both and I LOVED it that way!  There’s something so beautiful and weighty about the traditional vows…. but we also wanted to add a personal touch.  We agreed to keep the personal vows to like 5-6 sentences each though.  (IMO it’s kinda awkward / over the top when the bride and groom are giving epic speeches at the altar, ya know?)

    Post # 8
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    we wrote “personal” vows together and then exchanged cards the morning before the wedding with our really personal vows


    I liked using non-traditional working that was more us in the ceremony but not having it be so ugly cry moment of breaking down in front of everyone… when we did cards in the morning I was serious water works!

    Post # 9
    2814 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

    We are both very private people too so we’re planning on writing letters to each other containing our personalized vows and each reading them before the ceremony (separately in our own rooms).

    Then we’ll say the traditional vows in front of everyone. I think it’s a great compromise and we’ll be much more comfortable this way.

    Post # 10
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Neither of us had any interest in doing personal vows. That kind of stuff is private in my opinion. I think adding a few personal phrases might not be so bad, but a long drawn out love letter would probably be awkward for guests.  


    Post # 11
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

    We wrote our own vows. They were both personal. Mine was more like a poem with symbolism so it wasn’t out and out gushy. His were gushy and lovely. I didn’t want to do traditional vows because I wanted them to be in our own words, from our own minds. 

    Post # 12
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    MrsA44:  I have the same issue. I do not publicly display my feeling very well either and I would so ugly cry tryin to read them. We are writing letters to each other and putting them in a box to open on our anniversary instead of a unity candle. We will stick to traditional vows during the ceremony. 

    Post # 13
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    MrsA44:  I wrote our whole ceremony and then we both wrote our own vows but made sure they were in the same format so they flowed.  I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  I liked it being more personalized and people even asked if we wrote everything ourselves because it was so “us”

    Post # 14
    1995 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Traditional vows but I plan on giving personal vows to Fiance with his day of wedding gift.

    Post # 15
    9512 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I have never been to a wedding where personal vows didn’t make me uncomfortable, lol.

    I think it would be better to share those privately maybe during a first look.

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