Post # 1
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
Two things first… One, I am not yet engaged, but we have been talking about marriage & weddings lately, so I have been on here interacting and getting ideas. Two, I am not strictly pagan, rather I identify strongly with some pagan beliefs and incorporate them, as well as other religious beliefs & metaphysical beliefs into my own system that works for me. My significant other is pretty much a secular person, a skeptic, who’s family is of Jewish heritage, but do not really adhere to it.
So, for many years now the idea of handfasting has greatly appealed to me. There seems to be something so intimate about it, and I love the symbology of it. My father’s side of the family is mostly Celtic-Gaulic, so I feel a really strong pull to this tradition. The only problem is that I have not been to a wedding that involved handfasting.
Basically my question is in what part of the ceremony do you incorporate it? I mean, at some point there will be an exchanging of the rings… so I’m just curious do you handfast before that, after that… because it seems like with the ribbon and knots it could get complicated.
I like the idea of replacing the traditional unity candle or sand pouring with the handfasting element, and keeping the ribbons & framing them etc. I would just like as much information on it is as possible.
Thanks fellow bees!
Post # 3
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
Commenting to follow… I’m curious too! 🙂
Post # 4
Member
22 posts
Newbee
I’m a practicing pagan and I have seen many handfastings. Usually the rings go on before the hands are bound but before the vows are made. The cord is not wrapped tightly around the hands. It’s just meant to actually meant to bound the hands. The tying is supposed to be more around the wrists. It’s supposed to be more symbolic of being as one on your wedding day. Make it your own. You can practice if you want to be tied when you place the ring on so that more your wrists and lower hands are tied so that your fingers are free. Good luck!!!
Post # 5
Member
22 posts
Newbee
Message me or ask any more questions if you need.
Post # 6
Member
2285 posts
Buzzing bee
We did the handfasting with a braided cord near the end of our ceremony, after we exchanged vows and rings. The reverend tied a loose knot around our joined hands, then did a reading once it was removed. We’ll do a renewal on our year and a day anniversary and do a tight knot.
Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee
Handfasting is equivalent to a very formal engagement ceremony. It gives the couple a year of engagement, then if they still agree to the joining, an official wedding is held.
Well, that’s the tradition anyway. People do it during the wedding ceremony all the time nowadays.
Post # 8
Member
34 posts
Newbee
I’ve been doing a lot of research on this too. It seems to me it’s usually after the vows and exchanging of the rings, because each cord seems to symbolize a “blessing,” traditionally, and the blessings are placed on the marriage after it happens, not before. Some people end with it, and it probably makes a nice ending. I like the idea of having our inside hands tied together and using our outside hands to drink to each other, but that’s irrelevant if you want to tie up all four hands together, like if you wanted to do the infinity shape.
Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
@HaumeasHeart: It’s true that the handfasting was the year and a day engagement, but the wedding after a year and a day was often ALSO done with a handfasting, or the handfasting often replaced the wedding altogether, so it is not totally a modern invention to include it then.