Post # 1
So we’ve decided after finding out that Canada Post is going to gouge us on postage ($1.03 per invite… crock of shit) that we’re going to try to hand deliver as many as we can. My Mum said tonight that since my cousin’s wedding is this weekend, we’ll have a big chunk of that side of the family in one spot and will be able to hand out at the wedding. I immediately said that’s tacky and I’m not comfortable with it. She replied with, “Well then, I’ll do it. It’s not tacky. Who cares.” There is truth in that it will be a lot easier then tracking down people and there will most likely be relatives there that I would have otherwise had to mail the invite to no matter what. But I’m still a tad uncomfortable with it. I know my Mum will insist on doing it no matter what, so I have no choice in the matter… but what are your opinions?
Post # 3
Hm. Not sure about this one. I would say yea, that’s a bit tacky IMO. You are at someones wedding to enjoy the party and to celebrate the bride and the groom, not use it as a way to save some money. I would be a tad bugged if someone did that at my wedding reception. Not to the point of making a big deal about it, just to the point of noticing that it’s rude.
Post # 4
Maybe do it after the wedding if its the only way you can hand them out? Like in the parking lot? Not during the wedding for sure! That would not be okay.
Post # 5
Oops. I mis-voted. I meant to say that it would be VERY apalling.
Post # 6
any other family event, fine. but a wedding? no, sorry, not ok. (would you care if it was YOUR wedding and someone else was running around distributing their mail?)
ETA: yeah, I almost voted wrong too, b/c the title question of the post is pretty much opposite from the question in the poll (if you don’t read carefully it would be easy to miss it…)
Post # 7
I’m not going to lie…it’s kinda weird. In my circle, we would never do this, but $1.03 is crazy and if your group is more informal, it may be okay. Biggest checkpoint would be the bride, who i’m assuming is a relative. Ask her for her honest opinion if she would mind you giving the family invites at the end of the night. Tell her if she has a problem, you won’t do it. The day should be focused on her and her husband, not your upcoming wedding. Think of how you would feel if it were reversed and ask your mom to consider the same if an aunt did that at your wedding.
Can you find a way to hide/steal/take the invites away from your mom if you don’t feel comfortable doing it?
ETA: at this point, i’m not even sure if asking the bride is a good idea. it’s a 4 day countdown to her day and I’m sure she has other things to worry about.
Post # 8
Right away I was going to say no way, but honestly if you do it ask people are leaving from the reception or something I think it might be okay. You are not trying to take away from your cousin’s special day in anyway, and it would save you a ton of money/time.
Post # 9
OMG, do not do this! I would be horrified if somebody handed me an invitation to their wedding while I was attending another wedding. Not to mention, it’s just terribly rude…
Post # 10
Run, don’t walk away from this idea. Think how you would feel if that was your wedding and someone else handed out their invitations.
Post # 11
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: Mum wants to do it after supper during the reception. I’m just dreading seeing her going up to all the relatives, giving them the invites, and they’ll be a bunch of them opening up the invites reading them while they should be enjoying the reception! Unless they’ll be more courteous then my Mum and put them away ’til later. Maybe in the parking lot after the ceremony before everyone runs off ’til the reception…
Post # 12
Id be more worried that they would forget it there and not bring it home, not to mention the people who are not invited, but see the invites
Post # 13
Just don’t do it suring the ceremony or reception, the day after or maybe earlier in the day.
Post # 14
i dont think there would ever be a good/correct time to be handing them out at someone elses wedding.
i mean before the ceremony is bad, after the ceremony so people are reading the invite during the speaches is very bad plus those not invited will see the invite and some will forget and leave them on the table – its just a really bad idea all round
although i look forward to the thread about how someone was handing out wedding invites at a bees wedding 🙂
Post # 15
No because of all the reasons pp offered above but also, what about the other guests! Are they just supposed to smile and nod while your future guests open their invites? How uncomfortable. Tell your mom noooooooooooooo!
Post # 16
@angeebride: At this point, Mum has no access to the invites except for the ones we decided she’d hand out to friends and family members at their homes before this debaucle came up… so you have a good point, I can just hang onto them.