(Closed) Handing out invitations

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am very curious to see what people write on this one. I was planning on handing out some of my invitations. Mostly to coworkers and college friends who live still live in a dorm. 

Post # 4
Member
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ive been wondering the same thing myself. was considering hanging out some to close by people.

 

Edit: however im pretty sure most people will say its tacky/ rude/ agailnst protocal.

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it’s perfectly fine to hand-deliver invitations (and more personal!). Obviously, if you’re inviting people from work or something similar, you need to be subtle about giving it to them in case others who aren’t invited get offended.

We hand-delivered pretty much all of our work friends’ invitations, as well as some of our friends. The in-laws also insisted that we hand deliver invitations to their side of the family (which was a pain, but we got it done and no one seemed to mind!).

Post # 6
Member
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@h_annas:  Here are my thoughts– people love getting mail. It is exciting to have something to open. You see it, you get excited, you open it, and you RSVP/hang it on the fridge. If I get an invitation as you see me I would still be excited, it would go in my purse, and a few weeks later I would curse and I opened my purse and still saw it there. I would also be uncomfortable if only some people at each social event got invites and others didn’t. I would also feel awkward about opening it in front of you– it would seem sort of like you were fishing for complements and I prefer to “oh and ahh” (and find typos and make a face about not getting a +1) in private.

So etiquitte wise, I think it is fine as long as everyone at the event gets one/no one is excluded. In terms of getting RSVPs and building excitement, no so good.

Hand delivering to my house or when only you and one or two invited people are there is totally fine.

Post # 7
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My parents are hand delivering the invitations for our relatives. It is custom to do so. It is considered rude to mail them. They also visit each relative and offer a small box of sweets with the invitation. Our friends and FI’s family we mailed all of those, even to FI’s parents who will we see next week. Depends on the culture. I love getting things in the mail, but also think it’d be such an honor to have someone make a house call and hand deliver their invitation.

Edit: Unless they were from my relatives, all the wedding invitations I’ve received have been through the mail. In the States, tradition is to mail your invitations. Some may even consider it being cheap to hand deliver them. As long as you are making house calls and know your guests,  I think hand delivering is fine.

Post # 8
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@h_annas:  I hope not, because I hand delivered a few invitations. So long as people get them, who cares?

But don’t hand deliver them in a group situation where you’re giving them to some but not others.

Post # 9
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

WHO CARES about the etiquette on this. Haha. We are mailing a little less than 300 invitations, so I handed out invites in person to people I saw this week (I mailed the rest on Monday). My pastor, FI’s uncle, a church friend, some school friends, ladies at my shower this past week…

They didn’t mind one bit! They said I was smart to save on postage!

@Pollywog:  I think for young people who live at school or with parents, it is exciting to get mail. For older guests who get tons of mail every day…mail isn’t as exciting. Ha.

Post # 10
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think handing them out is just fine. And as a bonus, you can be sure they got them instead of worrying about the mail losing them. 

Post # 11
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I will be hand delivering some of our invitations to individuals that I see on a regular basis!  I wouldnt think twice about it…

Post # 12
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m wondering about this, too… I’d like to hand people some invitations when I see them all at a wedding-related event a month from now, but my mom is sort of horrified. “WHY? SO YOU CAN SAVE ON POSTAGE?!” For me it’s mostly because then I actually KNOW someone received the invite, and received it in a timely manner.

Post # 13
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I know you’re supposed to mail them out, but really etiquette is just a way of making sure you’re being polite and a good host. It’s not like it’s rude or impolite to hand someone their invite instead of mailing it. Unless you’re doing it in a totally non-subtle way in front of others who aren’t invited. I did the way you’re “supposed to” and mailed them all, but I wouldn’t care a bit if a friend or relative hand-delivered an invite to me.

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