Post # 1
ugh. i am posting under a pseudoname for privacy reasons, as i have done a couple of times before regarding a friend i have that is having her wedding 3 days after mine – see my old threads for the full story.
well, my wedding shower is in 2 weeks and this friend/BM of mine threw out in conversation today that she will be bringing HER wedding invitations to give to people at MY wedding shower!
am i totally over reacting for being irritated by this? like if i didn’t have this history of her deciding to do her wedding 3 days after me AFTER i planned my own destination wedding, then would the fact that she is taking the opportunity to give invites in person because several of her friends will be at my shower, not be such a big deal?
i mean i guess i am annoyed because the one way i have tried to deal with how i feel about her having her wedding 3 days after me is to focus completely on my wedding and do everyone i can to keep our weddings totally separate events. so her saying she will bring her wedding invitations to my shower makes me feel like she will be taking the focus from my wedding onto hers at my wedding shower!
please tell me if i am totally out of whack or would you be annoyed too?
Post # 3
Uh, tell her she can’t do that. That is beyond rude.
Not only that, she’s handing out the invitations? She’s not mailing them?
Post # 4
I’d be annoyed, but you can’t control other people’s actions. I’m sure your guests will find that SHE’s the one who’s odd and make an effort to accept them discreetly and turn their attention back to the guest of honour – you.
Post # 5
well she is handing them out to our mutual friends, which happen to be my BMs. so its NOT for everyone attending. just a few. the other invitations she has mailed as far as i know.
i just don;t get it. like we all got together several times over the past few weeks, why is she choosing that day to bring them? why not the next time after my shower that she sees these people?
Post # 6
I did a few invitations by hand because my family gets together often, but if I didn’t have an opportunity that didn’t step on someone else’s toes I would have mailed them, or made my own arrangements.
I’m definitely not saying that I support her behaviour. Some people just don’t THINK.
Post # 7
I moved it for you. = )
I would be pretty fristrated about this myself. The way I see it, once she hands out her invites everyone will shift their focus to her for however long. I’d tell her to hand those suckers out a different day or not go.
Post # 8
ummm EWWW EWWW EWWW.
Now I am not one for etiquette but I am one for common sense. Seriously…that’s just disrespectful to you and your hosts.
I would probably stick my tongue out at her if she did it at my shower but then again..sometimes I like to act like a 5 year (with common sense of course LOL!!! )
Post # 9
@His Barista: thanks for moving it 🙂
i am not sure if i can tell her not to. she will make up some excuse that its her only chance to do so (just like she said doing her wedding the same week and destination as me was her only chance at a beautiful wedding!).
@SapphireSun: i don’;t think there is anything wrong with handing them out by hand. just not that day!
anyway, just wanted to know what others thought. because anything to do with this friend’s wedding i feel i cannot be objective since the whole thing irritates me and all i can do is focus on my own wedding and not think about hers until after its over.
OH! another vent about her! the other day i told her i had got my ring pillow and she expects that she can use it for her wedding 3 days later! my mom bought me this beautiful pillow for $43! i would feel funny just letting her use it so she can save money! am i wrong on this one??? i told her to ask my sister to borrow hers (who got married 3 years ago), and she said (or rather, she whined), “you mean i can’t use yours! why not?!”
Post # 10
@frustrated: no, don’t let her hijack your ring pillow. She can bring one from the bed at the hotel if she’s that desperate to save money.
Post # 11
uhhh I would be completely pissed if someone tried to do that. Her convenience should NOT be at your expense.
Post # 12
What is she thinking? How many invitations is she handing out? I would ask that she does it before or after the shower. Maybe when your girls are either setting up or cleaning up?
I think handing out invitations by hand is okay, but definitely not okay to do it at a friends wedding shower!
Post # 13
i totally agree, not nice to hand out invites st your shower!
Post # 14
@Nati-Lyte: she is only handing out like 5 maybe? there will be about 15 people attending. it just totally irked me. i guess i have to get better at saying how i feel, otherwise i would not be in this position to begin with!
Post # 15
It is super tacky to hand out invitation to your party while at someone else’s. Hopefully she’ll do it at the end when people are leaving. She sounds pretty thoughtless. I wouldn’t let her use my ring pillow if you don’t want to! Maybe she wouldn’t mind if the roles were reversed, but don’t do anything that will make you resent her.
Post # 16
That is very rude.. Whos throwing your shower? Maybe they can tell her not to pass out her invitations there because its YOUR shower and its rude. She can pass them out after the party us over perhaps.