(Closed) handing out your wedding invitations at someone else’s shower?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

how about an email.. “It’s cool if you want to give so, so, and so, your invites so you don’t have to mail them. Will you do it privately? Maybe when the shower is over? I don’t think the other guests will feel left out, but just in case. See you on …” You could do it over the phone too if that’s easier.

Post # 33
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

That is so rude of her in my opinion.  It’s just like you don’t hand out invites to your wedding or birthday party in front of people that aren’t invited, you shouldn’t hand out shower invites in front of people who aren’t invited (or at someone else’s shower).  Does she really not see them any other time?

Post # 34
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would say something before the shower and I would say it over the phone or in person.  EMails can sometimes come across wrong or be taken wrong and could cause a whole other problem.  She should understand that it is your day and that it is not appropraite to hand them out before or during the shower.  Do you know who exactly she is inviting?  You could also ask them to please wait to open them after the shower.  I think you need to be pretty firm with her about it. And if she acts all offended or upset, let her know that you don’t mind her giving them out, but that you feel it would be best to wait until after the shower is coming to a close.  That way you can thank all of your guests for coming and she can then approach people as they are leaving. Hopefully she is understanding.  Good luck!

Post # 35
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

1) really tacky to hand them out at your shower

2) tacky to hand them out in general–hello it’s called a stamp!

3) you don’t give things to only SOME people in attendance. that is completely rude.

4) don’t let her use your pillow.

Post # 36
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that’s pretty rude! She can always find another time to pass out invitations or she could just mail them. Handing out wedding invitations at someone else’s shower seems more like an attention getter to me.

Post # 37
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yikes, sorry for the double post. My computer is having all kinds of issues today! I agree with the other Bees who said they would say something to her or write her an e-mail so she doesn’t do that.

Post # 38
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wow. Is this REALLY what people will do when left to their own devices?? Hand out wedding invites at another brides shower?? Wow. WOW. You don’t even need etiquette to know that’s wrong – you just need a freakin brain! DX When has it EVER been okay to hand ANYTHING out at ANYONES party?!

Post # 39
Member
7980 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Weird and rude.

Post # 40
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would tell her that it’s not ok for her to bring the invites. Or have your mom do it. someone. That is just plain rude. I really can’t believe someone would think it’s ok.  Wow. 

I;m sorry. I hope you can get a hold of her before she does it.

 

 Not gonna lie. I would freak out.

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