(Closed) Handling A Wedding Date Conflict

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
16191 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’d wait to see what date she chooses. You’ve commited to your best friend, so hopefully there’s not a conflict. But I’m afraid if you say something to your cousin, it’ll look like you want her to plan her wedding around your schedule. Not saying that’s what’s happening, but your cousin does have to pick the best date for her and her fiance. 🙂

I forgot to ask: would you be in your cousin’s bridal party? Then that’s a little bit more of an issue.

Post # 4
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

It couldn’t help to say something. Are you super close with your cousin? If so, she’ll probably want to take that into consideration when picking her date.

Post # 5
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@LBee: Summer is a long time – so unless your cousin specifically said she’s looking at May 5th, I wouldn’t worry. It also depends how close you are to the cousin (i.e. you suspect you’d be asked to be in it). That early in May is probably considered spring anyway, so you should be fine.

If you’re still worried about it, casually mention to the cousin how your summer is already filling up with weddings – as a Maid/Matron of Honor on the 5th and whenever cousin’s wedding is.

Post # 6
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would definitely say something to the cousin about it, especially if you are close.  FI’s best friend is already engaged and planning a wedding for next year. My BFF is about to get engaged and looking at next summer as well.  Just earlier today, I let her know of our obligation to attend FI’s best friend’s wedding next June, specially so she wouldn’t have a scheduling conflict.  Not that I would ever ask someone to change a date that was important to them, but I’m sure it’s something she’d want to be aware of when choosing a date.

Post # 7
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you are close I’d mention it. But if she said summer she probably doesn’t mean beginning of May. To me may is spring. Summer would be July / Aug.

Post # 8
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Personally I wouldn’t mention it, unless she asks you to be in the wedding party. As a PP said, you don’t want it to look like you’re asking her to plan the wedding around your availability. Plus, if they’re going for summer 2012, I bet they’ll pick a date that’s a bit later in the season.

Post # 9
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would definitley mention it!  We had to do this when planing ours.  While I wasn’t happy about it since I wanted an April or May wedding we ended up with a June wedding since Brother-In-Law thought he was going to be in grad school.  We had to accomodate his future final exams.  Of course he dropped out so that didn’t matter (which angers me since we had 95 degree heat in June – but whatever).  We had to know since he was a key member in our wedding.  I’d mention it yes.

Post # 10
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Maybe mention it casually – “Oh, you’re getting married in summer 2012? I’m going to be Maid/Matron of Honor for a friend’s wedding on May 5. Summer is such a popular time for weddings…” or something like that.

Post # 11
184 posts
Blushing bee

I would casually tell her ahead of time.

Avoid the problem.


I had a similar situation with my daughter’s wedding and several friends getting married around that same time.  Fortunately, everyone opted for different weekends.

Post # 12
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Tell her that if it is conflicting,tell her that u are already in another wedding that was planned before hers.

Post # 13
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@LBee: Wait , but ensure that you don’t wait to long because than both parties might feel offended. Hopefully, she would catch you doing a DIY project for your BEst friends wedding or call you and you can say “I’m working on some lettering or favors for my friends wedding this May” that way it sounds like you did not bring it up rather she asked “what are doing?” busy than you replied “somewhat working on favors for my best friends wedding this May”

Post # 14
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t mention it unless you’re super close. It’s annoying when you’re trying to choose a wedding date and every single family member thinks that the couple needs to work around their schedule.

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