(Closed) Handling Baby Fever

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee

Sorry, no ideas here! I am 27 (almost 28) and DH is 29. We have been together for 12.5 years and are experiencing increased baby fever as well!

But I work in a very demanding executive job (60+ hours a week) and I am finishing my master’s degree (2 classes a semester). So we are waiting until February 2017 to TTC.

Probably not helpful for you, but here is how I distract myself:

  • Make a list of expected expenses (child care, health care, start up gear, diapers, etc) and see how expensive it is–sticker shock!!!
  • Create specific goals to work toward (we are focused on student loan repayment and saving up a $5,000 baby fund)
  • Stay off social media (facebook is awful when all your friends are having kids)

 

Post # 3
Member
2133 posts
Buzzing bee

Offer to babysit someone’s kids.

Post # 4
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Have you set a wedding date?  Can you spend your “down time” focusing on planning?  I agree with PP to babysit.  I am 30 in two months and 8 weeks pregnant and it’s way more complicated than I thought.  I am sick all the time, I don’t feel like being social or working.  I coudln’t imagine being super busy at work right now.  

Post # 6
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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cloverbug:  

I am in a similar situation. I’ve been married for almost 3 years. I’ve had baby fever for about two years now, but it’s recently gotten worse. I graduated with my masters in May. After graduating I spent my time studying for and passing the CPA exams, which I finished in November. That’s when it got harder to ignore the baby fever.  Also, many of my very close friends got married or will be getting married soon. They have started TTC and one even has a baby due in June. This makes it even harder to control the baby fever. 

My husband a DVM student and will graduate in May of 2019.  That’s the earliest we will consider TTC. I think we could make it work if it happened before then, but it wouldn’t be fair to our future child(ren). 

I’ve kept my mind off of it recently by coming up with ways to save more money (budgeting, grocery/meal planning, etc), but I feel your pain. I think I need some other hobbies to keep my brain busy.  I also need to make myself avoid this forum lol. I have nexplanon, which also helps bad idea me stay in check. 

I’m here if you ever want to talk. Sounds like we have the same feelings. 

Post # 7
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
cloverbug:  

I just clicked on your profile and noticed you had a vet school interview. We might have more in common than I thought. Is that the demanding program you’re currently doing? 

Post # 9
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
cloverbug:  

I know how that is.  My husband usually comes home for dinner, then ends up back up at the school, in the lab, or at the library.  Sometimes I go with him and keep myself occupied on my laptop or reading a book, but otherwise it can get sort of lonely at home by myself.  How does your fiance handle it?

I’ve definitely had those dreams before – I can’t get it off of my mind for the rest of the day.  The hardest part for me is just being at a standstill with most of the things in our life.  We can’t buy a house, have kids, or save much money right now.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy my husband is in vet school.  I wouldn’t want anything else for him.  I’m just not a very patient person lol 

Post # 10
Member
4424 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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cloverbug:  I’m a new mom to an almost 2-month old son. I adore him. He’s beautiful, sweet, obviously going to be a genius. But, here’s an idea: for the weekend (start Friday night), set your alarm for every 3 hours. Wake up, drag yourself out of bed, and spend 30-45 minutes fake changing and feeding a baby. Keep in mind, you count the 3 hours between feeds from the time you start “feeding”, not the time your baby finishes. You can nap, but only at most for the time between feeds and often not more than that. See if that helps at all. 

Post # 11
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

Similar situation here. DH and I are late 20s and tying up the ends of grad school (he’s full time and I’m part time around full time work). 

We’d discussed timeline and then brought it a little forward to best fit into my career. The final details are working out but we’rr hoping a November 2016-January 2017 baby or a March 2017-spring baby to access different maternity packages  

Things we considered:

– Ive just taken a promotion so needed to make sure I’d worked enough to get statutory maternity pay as a minimum (maternity allowance in the UK isn’t that good) or my occupational maternity package. 

– decide how much leave if want to take. I’m thinking 6-7 months and then go back and use my holiday leave. 

– Who’d stay at home etc. Most likely after the first we’ll both be working full time or DH might request flexible working  

– Childcare costs. We’re going with a childminder not a nursery if we can. 

– we’re going to buy a house in the next few months (I think houses are more expensive in UK than US) so we’re looking at school catchment areas. 

– thankfully with the NHS we don’t need to worry about medical costs. 

– Standand of living. We’re not rich but we live a comfortable life and would happily go without if it means starting our family. 

Post # 13
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

If that’s your schedule, when do you propose you actually see this baby?

Post # 14
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
bibber:  That’d cure me REAL fast. 😉

Post # 15
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

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cloverbug:  I wouldn’t like to think about doing it without maternity benefits. 

Our basic maternity allowance for everyone is £139 a week for 39 weeks but most people (me included) will want to be eligible for statutory pay as its better. Then workplaces offer their own Plans. 

Materbitt benefits and the NHS are the reasons in glad im in the UK even if we have higher taxes. 

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