Hi there, I’m so sorry about your family member and the continued pain you’re going through with the trial. I hope it brings closure and peace.
Regarding coping strategies, I am doing the hypnobabies program. It’s really hard to explain effectively, but I’ll try and why I think it might help you in your current situation. I’m not an instructor or affiliated with it in any way other than as a student and benefit of how it has affected me personally throughout my pregnancy journey. So, I’m just hoping that you’ll approach my explanation with an open mind.
So, hypnosis is a pretty funny topic to discuss because people think it’s some kind of mind-control or hoax…but science is pretty firm on a few things. First, you can’t be made to do anything that you weren’t willing to do in the first place, you have to acquiesce to the suggestions. In hypnobabies, that means that you have to choose to believe in the suggestions that the program provides. Second, the program is based on the science of how your physiology and your mentality interact- basically, your mental state can and does affect your physiological state and therefore altering your mental state purposefully has the power to affect your physiological state (within boundaries).
So, hypnobabies is really focused on changing the mental beliefs and resulting behaviors throughout pregnancy in order for the mom to feel more confident and relaxed- ideally enabling an easier or smoother pregnancy and birth. The suggestions (‘positive affirmations’) that the program asks you to commit to believing in span from pregancy all the way through birth and are designed to combat the negative, anxious, and fearful rhetoric and belief system that dominates pregnancy and childbirth in mondern society. The program also focuses heavily on giving parents skills to make informed decisions regarding their medical care and options throughout the process.
You’re probably wondering why I even bring this up for your situation, I’ll get there, I promise!- My personal experience is that I entered the program kind of skeptical, but I knew that this type of self-training worked for me in the past and I thought ‘why not now? and what would be the harm?’. I used to hate working out/running…and I struggled significantly because my mental dialogue was negative towards the topic. When I started changing my mental conversation (going from ‘running sucks’ and ‘I can’t run faster/lift more’ to sweet-talking myself ‘I’m running for that hot body’ and ‘I’m lifting and I’m strong’), I got into the best shape of my adult life and started getting that mythical runner’s high (which is like self-hypnosis). So I had already proved to myself that changing some rather simple thought-processes had good effects. Hence, picking the program and committing fully.
Why I suggest you look into it- you’re going to be inundated by negative imagery, emotions, and information as you go through the process of the trial and as you’re aware, it will have a negative impact on your mental state, and it’s also completely separate from the fear-mongering and self-doubt that is modern day pregnancy. I think that if you have a purposeful, structured way to introduce some measure of control, confidence, and serenity into your pregnancy that will benefit you immensely in insulating yourself (and your baby) from the chaos of the trial. From personal experience, even though the program is pregnancy focused, I’ve found that I’m much more serene and confident, and just have a more positive outlook generally outside of feeling great during pregnancy, since starting the program.
I hope this gives you something to consider trying. Best of luck with everything!