(Closed) Handling Mortgage When Moving Into Your House

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1285 posts
Bumble bee

I’m keeping the house and mortgage in my name. It’s not a house we plan on living in forever. Our bank accounts will be together soon, as I make more than he does too, so whatever is in “our” account will be as 1 paycheck that bills gets paid with. 

If and when we decide to buy another house, his name will be put on it.  We’ve been living together for over 2 years now, it hasn’t been a problem thus far, and it shouldn’t matter once we are married.  He doesn’t care one way or another. 

Post # 5
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We don’t follow this because everything is joint but I believe in Suze Orman’s rule of percentages. If you make $1k a month and he makes $2k a month and the rent is $1k a month, you would pay $333 (1/3) for it and he would pay $666 (2/3). That way each of you would be paying the same percentage toward the household bills and would have the same percentage of income for personal expenses. I think that is more fair than an even split where you would end up with less fun money and he would end up with proportionally more fun money.

Post # 6
13067 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ask him.  You’re adults, and you’re married.  These are basic questions that a married couple can tackle easily on their own. 

Are you not having one joint account where you pool money and pay household expenses from there?  That makes it a lot easier.

Post # 7
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@MrsSaltWaterTaffy:  I think this is the best advice. But everyone’s situation is different!  

I make nearly double that of my SO. However if have double the debt of him. I do pay more of our expenses because he simply can’t afford an even split. 

Post # 8
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sewn:  The house is still in his name – it’s not worth refinancing just to put my name on it.  We’re married so in our state half the payments we’ve made since the wedding are mine no matter what.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Once I got my name officially changed we merged our accounts, created some new ones, added each other to our credit cards, etc.  We have joint savings accounts and a checking account, though we maintin our “old” savings and checking since we both had assets before the marriage.  We each have one credit card that’s our own, too.  I keep mine just because it has a super high limit and a long history.  And rarely buy him a gift with it.

As for the payments – the first month he just paid it, probably.  What’s one month in the rest of your lives?  I might have transferred my paycheck.  After that we had everything combined.  Both our checks go into the same account – which goes into either specefic savings or checking to pay the bills.  The only “his” and “mine” money is a couple $100 that we transfer into our personal account for frivolous no-questions asked purchases. 

The way we do it we both save equally.  Even if one of us makes more – we both have claim to it legally and because we work as a team.  He couldn’t work all kinds of OT and go on trips for 2 weeks working 16 hour days if I wasn’t home taking care of the house and dog. 

Post # 11
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

we have joint checking and savings. My money is his, his is mine. For us there never was a “you pay for this, I’ll pay for that” talk. WE just pay for it out of our combined incomes.

Post # 12
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m older, we won’t have children together and those facts change our financial picure. We merged accounts before we were married and even before we lived together. I handle money much better than he does and we always knew we’d share whatever we earn without discussing mine vs his. He sold his house and moved into mine about a year after we met. A few months later we refinanced “my” house and added him to the mortgage and deed, all before we married. To us being together means we share everything. He trusts me to handle our finances and we discuss them as necessary. Neither of us makes a major purchase without conversation and we never fight over money. It’s a beautiful thing after my last marriage in which I was mom, realtor and substitute teacher only to have my spouse of 25 years tell me I’d never contributed!

Each couple needs to have a long conversation about how they want to handle their finances and come to a good, agreeable arrangement. It can be a source of great division if both aren’t board with the plan.

Post # 13
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sewn:  my husband owned his home before me so he pays the mortgage, HOA and homeowners insurance. I pay the utilities and groceries. This is what we decided on when we were just dating and it works so we stuck with it since we only have a joint savings. What will work for otjers will vary but it’s always important to have an open discussion.

Post # 14
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I don’t believe in the percentage rule, but perhaps that is because I am not married to someone in a lower income bracket than myself. I believe in financial independence and I don’t pay anyone’s way. If you want to share the same lifestyle as me, then you pay for half of it. Period.

I’m sure people will disagree, so I will just put it out there that I don’t care. This is what works for us and I am simply answering the OP’s question. I am not asking for your feedback or opinions on my way of thinking or living because it is not going to change. We are happy.

Post # 15
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I do not really like the percentage, or the paying half thing, but that’s just because it would not work for us.  If you think it will work for you guys, then do that.  We have joint accounts, and the money just comes from there.  Do we have income disparity? yes.  I make more than he does because I have a more lucrative profession (lawyer), but for many years he made more than I did (he is a software developer so he still makes good money).  He paid for my LSAT prep course, he paid for our mortgage while I was in law school, and he has always taken good care of me.  I probably would not have done as well in law school as I did if it weren’t for him and all the support he gave me both financially and emotionally.  As such, I do not care that I make more, and I am perfectly OK with the money just coming out of our joint account even if I technically put more there than he does. 


You guys just need to sit down and discuss what will work for you.

Post # 16
8433 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We have a joint account and everything comes from there. There is no “my money” and “his money”.

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