Post # 1
I’ve owned my home for the last ten years and make (per my husband) 70 percent of our income. Which makes it seem like I’ve got bank. But, I don’t 🙂 He’s jus finished law school and I’ve been working a few years. I fully expect him to outpace me in a few years.
If we split the household expeneses, he would definitely be paying more than he was when he shared with three other people in a marginal neighborhood. I don’t want to insult or embarass him. But, first mortgage payment together is due in two weeks…
We never really got around to talking about how we would handle the mortgage and deed on the house. Just that I was going to refinance (a few months ago) to add central air and convert from oil to gas. I was just wondering if there were any bees who could talk a little about how they merged expeneses when there is income disparity or how they handled the mortgage payment sitch in a previously owned home.
Post # 3
I’m keeping the house and mortgage in my name. It’s not a house we plan on living in forever. Our bank accounts will be together soon, as I make more than he does too, so whatever is in “our” account will be as 1 paycheck that bills gets paid with.
If and when we decide to buy another house, his name will be put on it. We’ve been living together for over 2 years now, it hasn’t been a problem thus far, and it shouldn’t matter once we are married. He doesn’t care one way or another.
Post # 4
@rickhurst35: Thank you for the background. We are going to merge our accounts too come January (arbritrary date selection).
Post # 5
We don’t follow this because everything is joint but I believe in Suze Orman’s rule of percentages. If you make $1k a month and he makes $2k a month and the rent is $1k a month, you would pay $333 (1/3) for it and he would pay $666 (2/3). That way each of you would be paying the same percentage toward the household bills and would have the same percentage of income for personal expenses. I think that is more fair than an even split where you would end up with less fun money and he would end up with proportionally more fun money.
Post # 6
Ask him. You’re adults, and you’re married. These are basic questions that a married couple can tackle easily on their own.
Are you not having one joint account where you pool money and pay household expenses from there? That makes it a lot easier.
Post # 7
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: I think this is the best advice. But everyone’s situation is different!
I make nearly double that of my SO. However if have double the debt of him. I do pay more of our expenses because he simply can’t afford an even split.
Post # 8
@sewn: The house is still in his name – it’s not worth refinancing just to put my name on it. We’re married so in our state half the payments we’ve made since the wedding are mine no matter what. 🙂
Once I got my name officially changed we merged our accounts, created some new ones, added each other to our credit cards, etc. We have joint savings accounts and a checking account, though we maintin our “old” savings and checking since we both had assets before the marriage. We each have one credit card that’s our own, too. I keep mine just because it has a super high limit and a long history. And rarely buy him a gift with it.
As for the payments – the first month he just paid it, probably. What’s one month in the rest of your lives? I might have transferred my paycheck. After that we had everything combined. Both our checks go into the same account – which goes into either specefic savings or checking to pay the bills. The only “his” and “mine” money is a couple $100 that we transfer into our personal account for frivolous no-questions asked purchases.
The way we do it we both save equally. Even if one of us makes more – we both have claim to it legally and because we work as a team. He couldn’t work all kinds of OT and go on trips for 2 weeks working 16 hour days if I wasn’t home taking care of the house and dog.
Post # 9
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: Ahhh. Thanks, this is the kind of ideas I was looking for. I think that makes total sense. It would help with establishing a budget too.
@abbie017 We have talked about having a joint account and budget. And seperate accounts for personal spending money. I asked for other’s experiences so I’d have some ideas to discuss with him.
@highschoolhoneys I also have more debt than he does as he didn’t pay for undergrad and law school.
Post # 10
@almostmrsj: Thanks for the advice on two joint accounts. I’d only thought through the joint checking for paying bills.
How this all came up is he said he would refinish the floors ($4k to $5k)or put in a fence (I have a dog) and not pay into the mortgage for the first year (total would be half a year’s mortgage). Which is all fine and dandy. But, with a joint account, there wouldn’t really be a clear division of expenses. He wants to pull his weight but realizes my lifestyle is more than his.
I appreciate the response. Thank you!
Post # 11
we have joint checking and savings. My money is his, his is mine. For us there never was a “you pay for this, I’ll pay for that” talk. WE just pay for it out of our combined incomes.
Post # 12
I’m older, we won’t have children together and those facts change our financial picure. We merged accounts before we were married and even before we lived together. I handle money much better than he does and we always knew we’d share whatever we earn without discussing mine vs his. He sold his house and moved into mine about a year after we met. A few months later we refinanced “my” house and added him to the mortgage and deed, all before we married. To us being together means we share everything. He trusts me to handle our finances and we discuss them as necessary. Neither of us makes a major purchase without conversation and we never fight over money. It’s a beautiful thing after my last marriage in which I was mom, realtor and substitute teacher only to have my spouse of 25 years tell me I’d never contributed!
Each couple needs to have a long conversation about how they want to handle their finances and come to a good, agreeable arrangement. It can be a source of great division if both aren’t board with the plan.
Post # 13
@sewn: my husband owned his home before me so he pays the mortgage, HOA and homeowners insurance. I pay the utilities and groceries. This is what we decided on when we were just dating and it works so we stuck with it since we only have a joint savings. What will work for otjers will vary but it’s always important to have an open discussion.
Post # 14
I don’t believe in the percentage rule, but perhaps that is because I am not married to someone in a lower income bracket than myself. I believe in financial independence and I don’t pay anyone’s way. If you want to share the same lifestyle as me, then you pay for half of it. Period.
I’m sure people will disagree, so I will just put it out there that I don’t care. This is what works for us and I am simply answering the OP’s question. I am not asking for your feedback or opinions on my way of thinking or living because it is not going to change. We are happy.
Post # 15
I do not really like the percentage, or the paying half thing, but that’s just because it would not work for us. If you think it will work for you guys, then do that. We have joint accounts, and the money just comes from there. Do we have income disparity? yes. I make more than he does because I have a more lucrative profession (lawyer), but for many years he made more than I did (he is a software developer so he still makes good money). He paid for my LSAT prep course, he paid for our mortgage while I was in law school, and he has always taken good care of me. I probably would not have done as well in law school as I did if it weren’t for him and all the support he gave me both financially and emotionally. As such, I do not care that I make more, and I am perfectly OK with the money just coming out of our joint account even if I technically put more there than he does.
You guys just need to sit down and discuss what will work for you.
Post # 16
We have a joint account and everything comes from there. There is no “my money” and “his money”.