Post # 1
Last night I attended a friend’s wedding. In the 2 years we’ve been together I’ve had to attend countless special events without my guy by my side. It’s just not economically savvy for him to come down for every random wedding, graduation, etc…
But it’s still awkward going stag to a party when you do have a special someone in your life. In my area, there’s no such thing as “group dances”, everyone does spanish dancing (meaning one guy one girl). So I never get to dance :-/ and I don’t have someone there to comment on everything with. Plus walking in always feels like a HS flashback of not knowing where to sit in the school cafeteria.
So I was just wondering if any other LDR couples are going through this and how do you deal?
Post # 3
Awwww that is tough huh? I haven’t really had very many events like that because we are close enough (3 states) that we can drive or fly in on the weekends if something special is going on. My Fiance has more friends that are getting married so I feel bad because he has been on the side of having to go alone more than I have. I think that it may be different for guys because he enjoyed the time with his friends (but of course, wished that I could be there).
Post # 4
I don’t really have any advice but I know how you are feeling. I decided that I wouldn’t go to prom because I knew I would feel completely left out being alone even though I had a boyfriend. I would suggest bringing a friend with you if you can so that you can have someone to talk to and spend time with when others are off doing couple things.
Post # 5
Yeah, FH has gone to a few but usually he ends up being the friendor DJ or something like that so he doesn’t miss me too much… I think it also helps that he’s this little social butterfly whereas I get social anxiety in big parties with alot of people I don’t know :-/
Sometimes I wonder why I bother to put myself through those feelings and go, but then I remind myself that I’m trying to be a good friend…
Post # 6
🙁 I’ve found that being in a LDR isn’t that different from being single, haha, in some ways. I guess for me it helps a LOT to hang out with my single girl friends.
I LOVED being single though (don’t miss it, since I’m still basically living it), and I know not everyone is/was in that boat. :/
Post # 7
It is weird..even moreso for me b/c my Fiance is not THAT far away (3.5 hours). It is more my FIs career than the distance that prevents us from seeing each other more. A couple of my friends really think I am making him up…despite the fact that they have spoken with him, e-mailed with him, met his sister, seen pictures of him, etc. b/c they haven’t physically met him. I have been to numerous events where they have tried to hook me up with other men knowing full well I was taken. It can be weird/uncomfortable at times…but I always try to make the best of it.
I am glad that it’s coming to an end though….
Post # 8
I know how you feel. I hate going to events alone – it makes me feel so awkward! Happily, our friends’ weddings have been fairly spread out, so we’ve been able to arrange vacations around them and attend together. When it comes to other events, I’ll usually bring a friend as my date. That way I know I’ll have fun and won’t end up feeling lonely!
Post # 9
The last wedding I went to- alone- I cried. I came home & cried on the phone to him… I said “I hate being single, even though we’re together!”
It’s definitely hard to go to events without your SO… and truthfully nothing makes it better. We just have to cope & hold it together so we aren’t a big mess on the floor during the speeches (or whatever!)
@jamaicabride: People always tried to set me up too even though they KNEW I was in a relationship. Out of sight, out of mind I guess?!
Post # 10
I’ve had a few of the attempted set-ups too… haha… but I’m happy to know I’m not the only one who feels this way 🙂
And I have tried to take friends but inevitably I always end up feeling down at some point :-/
Post # 11
i know how tough it is. out of the almost 5 years we’ve been together, he’s only attended 2 of my friends weddings, one because it was in michigan where he lives and the other he flew out because it was my bestie’s wedding so it was kind of a big deal. other than that, i’ve flown stag to the countless other weddings i’ve attended during our time together so has he [though he’s only been to 1 wedding so far, his cousin’s].
and i also get the occasional set up from members in my church! it’s weird because they know i’m with someone but i guess because they don’t see him that often they forget. i guess it’s nice they’re thinking of me? haha
Post # 12
- Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House
Yep! I’m going to my company Christmas party alone this year. I get lots of questions like, “Are you guys doing ok?” or “Are you still with Lambster?” I just explain that we can’t afford to travel all of the time. I’ve definitely chosen to just skip events, but I think overall that going alone helps build my strength. I do act more like a single person when I’m in an LDR though. I hang out with my single friends, I plan more stuff to keep busy, etc. Weddings are def. the hardest things that I’ve had to go to alone.
Post # 13
Oh that’s awkward. Sorority formals were the worst. I was “that old girl” (aka the senior) who didn’t take a date. Literally like me and a friend, that was it. I always went stag and got ridiculous and danced and had a great time, but people were always like, “who’s that girl and why did she come with that other girl?” until someone explained i had an SO overseas. I only went to a few weddings stag, but it was always a sorority sisters’ so I knew plenty of people. Slow dances were awkward–it was my “i need a beer” time. But I’m lucky it was my friends’ weddings, not a family member or something. I think it helped that I wore a ring on my left hand–an amethyst–because i obviously wasn’t single and it kept most of the creepers away.
omg company christmas party last year was suuuuuper weird. I wore a nice dress, thinking it was formal, and it definitely was NOT. I got awkward stares all night (staring at my ladies, yes, not good) and everybody brought their wives and it was just weird. I just faked it, got home, and made myself a drink, lol.
I’m pretty good at going single to these social events…it’s probably for the best in the long run–honing my social skills and being able to be in that situation without an SO to keep me company and/or busy. Being clingy never bodes well for certain parties, especially work!
Post # 14
We’re both had to go to wedding alone (I thought about bringing my sister to one, but she didn’t know anyone there), countless family parties, work parties, friend get togethers…those were some of the worst times for me missing my hub!
For the most part I didn’t skip things that I’d have to attend alone, but everyone we knew knows that E lived on the other side of the country and just didn’t get to come out much (he came out to Chicago twice during our whole engagement!), so they knew my situation…but occasionally friends had to fend off interested parties 🙂
It was a little weird adjusting to having him around again, to be a “couple”!