- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
My Fiance constantly has his hands down his pants. Heh… okay, let me explain.
When Fiance is doing most anything… watching tv, talking on the phone, talking in person, laying in bed, playing a game, he can’t seem to leave his junk alone. He’s either touching, cupping, scratching or just resting his hand both inside and outside his pants. This is a total subconcious action, and most times he doesn’t even know he’s doing it until I tell him.
We’ve talked about how much this annoys me and how in some situations it makes him look pretty bad, and that there’s totally inappropriate times to do this, and he’s tried to become more aware of it, but it’s still happening. He says that it all stems from his childhood, because he grew up very poor and without any heat in the house, so he used to put his hands down there to produce heat. It’s something that comforts him. I’ve noticed that his father and brother do the same thing, but Fiance more so.
As I mentioned above, this is NOT anything that’s being done in a sexual manner. He’s not sitting there getting off if that’s what any of you are thinking. It’s purely comforting to him. This is also backed up by the fact that he never does it when he’s nervous — i.e. at a family function, on a job phone interview or in person, when talking to my parents, HOPEFULLY our wedding. It’s always when he’s relaxed, comfortable, and calm.
It’s a little bit embarassing, and I really want to help him cut down on it or erase it for good. I know all about it, so I can deal with it, but not everyone does and it can definitely be taken the wrong way. There was an instance at work about a month ago that scared the living daylights out of me. Fiance works with kids, and while speaking to a parent, he readjusted himself, and the parent took it the completely wrong way and called him out on touching himself / sexual harassment. She said that if she ever saw him do it again, she’d make sure he never worked with kids again. Thankfully, his workplace knows that this mother is a little looney-toons to begin with and a big troublemaker, and Fiance explained to his male boss what really happened, so it was all forgotten. However, my mind can’t stop thinking about if that accusation had been followed through on… our lives as we know it would end.
I’m really reaching out for help here, with any advice or suggestions on how to kick this bad habit. Again, please be respectful, Fiance is a great guy and it’s so hard to convey over the internet that this is nothing sexual and he’s not some gross perv. Any suggestions?