(Closed) Hanging out with your friend’s DH that your DH doesn’t like… can you relate??

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is a tough situation that we deal with occasionally also. My friends and my husband’s friends are all very different so sometimes we don’t really have much in common with their significant others/spouses. I think the best thing to do is try and limit the double dates as much as possible and if you do them, at least have them center around some kind of activity (a baseball game, concert, movie) where it doesn’t require them to have to interact for hours on end.

I don’t think it’s a big deal for your husband to bail this time- you just don’t want to do it too much to where your friend and her husband start wondering if he has an issue with them. If you say your husband isn’t going to come, does your friend’s husband want to still hang out with you and your friend? That would be a little awkward I think. 


Post # 4
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree this situation can suck. I think sometime when we are friends with someone, we shouldn’t always feel obligated to go on double dates. Like if I ask my friend if she wants to hang out, it’s weird to me if she always suggests a double date (like why can’t you go somewhere without your DH). But, if it has to be that way sometimes, my husband almost always goes. If he doesn’t I don’t mind going alone but it can be kind of awkward. I think for us my DH goes even if he doesn’t want to and just tries to make the best of it. If he doesn’t like the guy, then usually double dates don’t happen (I think some kind of mutual knowing that they don’t get along?). I think you should just let your DH do what he wants…BUT I think he should make an effort with you too and try to hang out a little bit at least.

Trust me there are a few people I don’t like on his side but I make an effort for him and his friends, you know? I expect the same in return.

Post # 6
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I have this type of situation. Mine can also handle in a small dose, but sometimes he refuses to come. I won’t force him to hangout, either.

Post # 7
1741 posts
Bumble bee

I have this exact situation with 2 couples. DH just thinks he has nothing in common with these other husbands. Once we left him and onf of the other husbands alone and they sort of got along with the help of video games but it was only temporary. In this situation, the problem is partly that my DH hates to make small talk and the other DH is all about superficial conversation. I think if they could get past that they actually would have things in common. In the other case, DH feels he and my friend’s husband have nothing in common which is actually pretty true but frustrates me because he is a really nice guy and this couple lives quite close to us so I would be happy to hang out with them and DH is always looking to get out of it.

I think it depends how close you are with your friend if DH should get let off the hook or not. For example, in once case, I forsee myself and my friend remaining life long friends and therefore, DH better get used to her husband. In the other case, I don’t imagine we will stay friends once we don’t live so close by (we’re both implants to our current city so it seems reasonable that one or both of us will move away) so I am fine if DH wants to stay home sometimes and I appriciate the girl time.

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