Post # 1
My Future Brother-In-Law (youngest brother) got engaged after us and married before us. And now they’re already pregnant.
This is all super wonderful, but I never had the chance to get that close to them in the first place so our relationship isn’t that deep yet. I like them plenty, though, just don’t know them all that well.
Due to their earlier wedding, much of that family is not coming to ours.
I need advice on dealing with jealousy. I know I shouldn’t have a problem with us, and I know they did not do this to hurt us, but I can’t help feeling hurt by it.
Any tips on how to get past this so I can happy for them all around instead of frustrated and jealous and only a tiny bit happy for them? They are an adorable couple.
(I am a regular poster. If you figure out who I am, you can PM me, but please don’t post it here. I don’t want to hurt those involved in case they join wb.)
Post # 3
I don’t really know how to give advice about this. It sounds like you already know that they didn’t do it to hurt you, and that you’d rather be happy for them, so you don’t need anyone to tell you that!
I think all you can do is accept that you’re feeling jealous and that it’s ok to feel that way, but don’t let it affect your outward actions toward them. Because you’re aware if it that should be easier! Maybe try to get to know them better, spend time with them, and over time your feelings of closeness will become stronger than the feelings of jealousy naturally.
Post # 4
@jealous-eee: I say let yourself pout about it for a second – seriously, it’s fine to be jealous.
So take the 5-10 minutes to acknowlege that you’d like to be in their shoes, but then think about all the good things about your wedding and your relationship and about NOT being pregnant right now. Eventually the feelings will pass and perhaps once you get to know them better it’ll make a big difference.
Post # 5
@rolling berry:That is sane and sage advice.
@camrie: Thank you. Time is always the best healer.
I guess I just wish there was a magic anti-jealousy pill. That is obviously not happening.
Post # 6
i had the same issue – my SIL got married in august and we got married in february – A LOT of his family didnt come to our wedding (but he has a huge family so i was ok with it)
just sulk for a minute but let it go – the people who really care and love you will be there. think about it this way, you wont have to shell out the cash for them to come, and you may get a gift for inviting them 🙂
Post # 7
I think it’s totally fine to feel jealous, so don’t supress those feelings, but don’t take it out on them. I truly believe everything that goes around comes around, so as long as you are focusing on doing the right thing, you will get rewarded in the end. And I find it’s best in these situations to focus your thoughts on what you DO have going for you, why you are fortunate. It could always be worse than it is, but don’t get lost in thinking the grass is always greener.
Post # 8
just remember that your wedding will still be spectacular, and certainly not second to any other wedding, regardless!
And even if some of the family can’t come, just be particularly thrilled to have the family and friends that are able to attend.