Post # 1
Ugggh, I just keep watching time pass. I know a lot of other ladies here feel like this!
My man says he’s going to propose. Says he has an idea of how he wants to do it. Sometimes engages in talk about how we’ll buy a house (the financial side of it) talks about kids, makes a lot of “jokes” about “our kids”…. when I get frustrated, and yell things like, “I’ll be waiting FOR-EVER!!! He sweetly says, “no you won’t.”
But the MONTHS just keep passing. I mean, it’s been since October since he said he was going to do it, and months before that where I felt it was “coming.” That’s 1/2 a year ladies! Not to mention the fact that I’ve been WAITING for almost a year and a half.
I told him this weekend that I feel like at this point it’s just cruel that he hasn’t asked yet. I feel teased and taunted with it. He didn’t say a word! I told him if he wasn’t ready yet, that’s a conversation we should have. He didn’t say a word. I asked him if we were REALLY ever going to get married and he said yes.
WHERE IS IT?
I am so afraid of ending up like other girls, where I end up leaving because it never happens. I mean if he wants it as much as I do, where is it? I can’t help but feel like he’ll eventually do it ‘because he has to,’ that is what waiting makes it feel like.
Thanks for letting me vent. I’m sure someday I’ll look back on these posts and wonder why I didn’t just “let it happen.”
Post # 3
@Elleymae: LOL I just made basically the same post last night! I know, it sucks… I hope we both see the light at the end of the waiting tunnel soon.
Post # 4
@Elleymae: & @vlbee: I sympathize with you both since I experience the same feelings/frustrations about waiting and feeling as if time is just passing by. I can’t say that I’ve found the solution to all this, as I still have my REALLY bad days. But over time, my anxiety has decreased and my bad days are getting less and less. I attribute this mainly to the following, which hopefully will help you ladies as well:
Don’t think of things in terms of the “what ifs”…instead, take everything ONE DAY AT A TIME. Pick a day and promise yourself that you’ll get through that day with a positive focus–perhaps think about/write down all the things you love about your life; do something special for yourself (I love to shop so that’s my thing); and AVOID thinking/talking to anyone about anything having to do with engagement/weddings. Basically, be your own best friend–what would you do for someone you care deeply for if they were experiencing the feelings/frustrations that you are? It even helps to give advice to yourself–what would you say to someone in your position? I find that helps me calm down a lot because I look at my situation from an outsider’s view and see that my situation isn’t NEARLY as bad as I make it out to be.
If you get through just ONE day like that, you’ll feel SO good that you’ll want to repeat it again the next day. When I do this, the days just fly by and I don’t feel so “stuck” anymore. I also am MUCH happier and my SO definitely notices, which helps our relationship so much.
I hope this helps you ladies as well. Remember, you’re not alone in this!
Post # 5
@Shirinjoon: This is great advice!
Post # 6
@Beena: Thanks! It has worked really well for me so far. I used to do this whenever I felt heartbroken over a breakup or something else in my life–one day at a time seems to be the only way for me. If I think of things in terms of next week, next month or next year…I freak out!
In my experience, things have always worked themselves out while I was taking life “one day at time”….hope it helps others too!
Post # 7
I absolutely hate it when they say “it will happen soon” and the months pass on by.. it is so frusterating. I hope it does happen soon for you.
Post # 8
I second the comment about SO noticing when you’re happy. When I’m happier (“chirpy” as he puts it), more affectionate, doing more to take care of him (little things like packing him a lunch for work and such), not harassing him about things (usually cleaning related, not wedding, but it still applies…) it doesn’t take him too notice. And all of the sudden, he’s making more comments about getting married/getting rings – and even sometimes some action to back it up.
Post # 9
I am sooo with you. Mine has also been saying he’s going to propose since October. I don’t even bring it up anymore, but then he’ll say something like, “Next month, I promise,” and then when I don’t say anything in response, he’ll say, “I know you won’t believe it til you see it.” Well, yeah! Can you blame me!?
Post # 10
@HayleyJane: You’ll have to tell me if it happens for you next month. Good luck.