Post # 1
So often in the news I see so many ‘why I don’t want to have children’ stories, stories about how they don’t want kids and all the negatives associated with having children. And that’s fine for them.
So everyone post how much you love being a parent, post stories about how amazing it is. Because those without children, but would love to be blessed with a child are scared to death while reading these news articles. So you see I’m using the second person there, but really it’s me. All of these articles I see are so negative and I’m a scaredy cat person when it comes to making big decisions. So I want to hear the positives. I know it’s really hard and sometimes impossible, but I’d like to go back to the time when I could be naive before deciding to have kids. I’d love to have a baby or adopt so badly, but these news articles make me second guess myself.
Post # 2
Not a parent yet (not planning on trying for several years) but my 3 year old neice just warms my life so much. A recent example is when I was playing in the pool with her and she was jumping off the edge to me over and over again- one of the times she got up on the edge of the pool, she paused (very unlike her lol) and matter of factly said “You’re my best friend Aunt Ray Ray.” I pretty much melted 🙂
Post # 3
If someone doesn’t want kids that’s fine. But for me, it is the awesomest thing ever. I have two girls (12 & 4) and they are so much fun to raise. My older girl will crawl in my arms on the couch and tell me about the cute boy at school and ask for pointers on shaving her legs. We talk about everything and it’s amazing to see her navigate right and wrong and develop into a responsible caring individual. My younger daughter is a bundle of joy and possibilities- everything amazes her and she is up for anything. The other day she was dressed up as Cinderella and told me “mom, I need to go find my glass slipper- I can’t wait around for the prince to find it!” She cracks me up! There are so many wonderful precious moments with kids (and gross frustrating ones), I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
Thanks for this thread OP! We are TTC, but you’re right.. Reading all of these stories about what a terror kids are, how you lose yourself, all of the things we won’t be able to do once we’re parents, etc. scares the bejeebus out of us and constantly makes us wonder… we want a family, but are we going to regret doing this?? I don’t think we will; we really want this and I think we are a great team and will be great parents, but it’s a terrifying, life changing decision!
Post # 5
After reading all the articles, I thought that parenting would be like a post apocalyptic hellscape, and that I would be chubby and stressed and my husband and I would never talk again, just fight. I now have two little girls – 2 and 3 months, and we have had a blast! It’s so much fun to pack them up and have an adventure every day. I love it when they wake up in the morning, all sweaty and confused. I love their sweet little voices. I love tucking them in at night. They are just so sweet and I told my husband just yesterday, who I don’t fight with and talk to all the time, that we are so lucky to have such a nice life!
Post # 6
Thanks for posting this thread and for the lovely stories so far. I was feeling the same….always wanting children but thinking “what am I ruining?!” with all the horror stories you read. We are not TTC and I’m 38, my husband to be is 40 so we accept it may not happen for us anyway, but we’d like to try! These nightmare tales are so worrying. It seems that plenty of married couples love their lives and their partners even more after children.
Post # 7
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I NEEDED to read this today, right now, so please keep the stories coming.
My Darling Husband and I are due with our first in 6 weeks, so any day now, and although we are as ready as we can be, and over-the-moon excited to meet our son, I find myself feeling more petrified and anxious as the days go by. Sure, some of that emotion stems from the fact of the scary unknowns of labor and delivery (because EVERYone has a story, and most stories have some traumatic event attached to it :)), but mainly because the majority of what we hear is negativity about parenthood. Both from people with kids, and those that do not want kids.
We will not sleep, ever. I need to secure people 24 hours a day for the first month, because I wont ever be able to do laundry, or cook a meal, or grocery shop, or shower. And, watch OUT when they start moving, or thinking on their own, and throwing tantrums, and being snot rockets. It is impossible, and hard, and sure – I will love this baby with all my heart, but with little reward…
Perhaps we have bad friends, lol, but seriously…very little positivity.
Post # 8
avarose: My 18-year-old recently said “Mom, there’s something wrong with my buttcrack. Will you look at it?” That’s trust! I felt like I had done something right somewhere.
PS, it was just a heat rash. Probably from bike-riding (I tell myself).
Post # 9
The best part is when your child comes up to for no reason at all and says “Mommy I love you” or comes up to you and tells you they want a hug and a kiss. My 3.5 year old has been doing that a lot lately makes my heart melt
Post # 10
When we told my 8 year old we were getting married he paced around, walked back and forth between us with one finger in the air “I have one question…will there be a wedding? Because I am NOT going to a wedding they are boring! Oh and second, no kissing that is just gross. Yes I want you two to be married but I don’t want to deal with any of that.”
My 2 year old is now playing games at night and while it is frustrating I can’t help but smile and laugh to myself when he does it. I put him down and he gets out of bed, comes up to me and says he has a boo boo. Makes me kiss it and then goes back to bed. I told him last night he had no boo boo and to stop it. So then he calls me in and says, Mommy I wanna kiss! How can you be mad at that even when it is 9:45pm and he should have been asleep more than an hour ago.
Post # 11
Not kids yet, probably another 1-1.5 years. I have a nephew though, we are very attached. He likes me more then anyone. I have been taking care of him and his sister since birth, so we have a 5 year connection. He was at my house a couple weeks ago, out of the blue he goes “Wheezie, you aren’t fat” His mom is known for saying things she shouldn’t (divorced ). I told him I’m not, i just like food. Probably had to be there, but he cares about my feelings. Love that kid.
Post # 12
I have two kids, a 4 year old daughter and a 3 year old son. My daughter was only a year old when I started going through my divorce with her dad. I was pregnant with my son when I left him and he was born 3 months before everything was finalized. We’ve been through so much together. I’ve been mom and dad pretty much from day one. As hard as it has been I’m so thankful. My babies and I are so close. They really are my best friends. Me and my daughter share secrets, do each others hair, color together and go on “dates’. I started that about 2 years ago. My daughters birthday is Oct. 9th and my son’s is Jan. 20th, so on the 9th of every month I take her on a date and on the 20th I take my son on a date. I’m really close with my mom so I’ve always wanted my kids and I to have that same type of relationship. I love when my babies come up to me and tell me they love me just because. I was really upset the other day and my daughter came up to me and put her arm around me and said mom you are a really good mom. I’m going to cry just thinking about it. Being a parent is the best thing I’ve ever done!!
Post # 13
Our son is only a few months old. But so far one of the best things is seeing my husband as a father. Seeing him tear up when his child is in pain makes me love him so much more than I thought I could.
Post # 14
I don’t even think I can put into words how much love I have for my son. When he is smiling and laughing it really is just heart warming. It was also crazy to watch Fiance go from this guy who didn’t know how to even talk to kids to a loving, doting father.
Post # 15
I’m a nanny, and I’ve learned that this is a job where you either learn that you don’t want kids or that you do! For me, it’s been the latter. I’ve also worked with children with special needs, and I’ve decided that when I’m ready to be a parent, I want to be as ready as possible for anything.
To me, one of the best feelings in the world is when a child makes a smarter, braver, and/or more empathetic choice in part because of something you’ve taught them.