Post # 1
I guess it is because the ONLY thing on my mind for the past 8 months was this wedding. Every little detail I thought about constantly and was so so so excited for the event. Of COURSE I am extatic to have my husband now. These are completely seperate feelings. We got married Saturday and went on a short honeymoon (we both had to get back to work). We got home just now, Wednesday night. I have been in tears since I stepped into the house. I walked into the “wedding room” and it was empty. I broke down and walked into the bedroom, put on my “just married” panties, and walked up to my husband and cried. He is being so sweet. But how do I get this to stop? How can I move on from this? I feel like I am empty, with nothing to plan or obsess over. Ugh.
Post # 3
I cannot relate, I was sooo happy when it was finally over! I am still trying to unload the rest of my wedding crap. Maybe you can pick up a hobby?
Post # 4
What gave you a sense of purpose before the wedding? What made you feel fulfilled and satisfied?
Post # 5
It’s not over, it’s just beginning! BTW… congratulations!
Post # 6
It is normal to have some sort of release after the stress of planning for months, but it is important not to dwell there.
Time to take off the “just married” panties and put on the “big girl” panties.
The whole point of the wedding was to join the two of you in marriage. Get on with the marriage. This is the time for the next stage in your life.
You will still have details about the wedding to finish up, photos, sorting out and getting rid of decor items. thank-you notes etc but the rest of your life starts now.
Post # 7
Thanks guys, that was all very very good advice. I was in school before the wedding, and am now working a 9-5 job. So what fullfilled me before, makeing good grades, writing papers, reading, etc, can’t really occur anymore. I did very much enjoy it, but understand that this too has to pass. I guess I am just bad at letting go of some things..
Post # 8
I never felt this way at all. I was just way to happy to have my husband as my, well husband! lol 🙂 Its a new start not the end, keep that in mind! Take up a hobby, photography, an art class, hiking, ect! Re decorate your home in wedding photo’s & other things.
Post # 9
Oh sweetie, I understand. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it. I’m worried that I’m going to do the same thing when it’s all over for me. It’s like, for the past year, everything has been wedding wedding wedding and you always have things to do, people to hang out with, parties/showers to go to and stuff to work on, and then it’s like…*record scratches*, and you’re done. Crickets. My fiance already knows that I’m going to be in the same boat. Maybe try to pick up a new hobby…start a class at the gym or a crafting class or something of the sort. I think it would be very helpful to get out and make some new friends and find another way to occupy the time. That’s what I plan to do to help, but don’t feel bad, you’re definitely not alone!
I actually made my own post awhile back that some days, I think I have post-wedding depression BEFORE the wedding. Every time I compete a task like dress shopping or something, I’m like, yay! It’s done!! 5 minutes later…omg, I’ll never be able to do that again…(sob).
Post # 10
It sounds like you wrapped your identity up with the wedding planning and got a bit lost in the process. Remember, the day was to celebrate how you are going to be together for life. Try to keep your memories of the day as fresh as you can, but maybe focus now on the thank you cards and wrapping up the loose ends.
I was sad that it came and went so fast, but kept the big picture front and center. 🙂
Post # 11
I am so afraid this will happen to me in T-93 days. I think you should find a hobby or something to take up your time, maybe even something with your new husband!! Congrats on your marriage. This feeling will pass.
Post # 12
I can relate…I felt pretty melancholy after we got back from our honeymoon. We got married in our hometown (that is on the other side of the country), and it was my first time being back home to visit my family & friends since I moved to the west coast two years ago. So combined with the anticipation of wedding, there was the anticipation of seeing my family again finally! After it was over, it felt like….”well, now what?”
Life eventually returns to normal, and you’ll settle into being happy with simply being married (at least that is how it is for me…and that was the point of all the hoopla in the first place, is what I tell myself!). I look at my husband every night and still get that “I can’t believe I’m finally married!” thing going on in my heart. It is a peaceful, non-tulle filled exsistence that doesn’t revolve around cake or invites or head counts. Time to RELAX!! 🙂
One thing that has helped me ease into the world of things-that-don’t-always-revolve-around-weddings is to scrapbook. I am taking all of our pictures, leftover invitations, napkins from the cake table, cards from guests, etc. and putting them in a huge “Wedding Scrapbook.” It fills the time, helps me reminisce, can be put back down when I get tired of it, gives me my wedding fix, & keeps my husband from giving me the crazy looks I get when I want to watch bridal shows/surf the web for dresses/read bridal magazines.
Post # 13
You know, there are quite a few marriage related hobbies that can be similar to wedding planning in terms of coming up with aesthetic ideas, planning little details, doing crafts, imagining the “big reveal,” etc. Think about the future house you will own if you don’t own one now! Get into home decorating and re-do a couple rooms! Make furniture or curtains or candles or learn to throw pottery and make items for your home! Learn how to sew/knit and start making baby items! (If you want children.) Plan fabulous dinner parties! Think of an amazing first anniversary surprise/gift/party and throw yourself into preparing it! Read a bunch of relationship books and focus on making your relationship the strongest it can be! Sort through your wedding photos, get them printed, framed, matted etc!
I think it will help if you have other projects to work on, and can kind of ease yourself out of “planning mode.”
Post # 14
What you’re feeling right now will fade. I missed wedding planning for a while, but you can still come on here and help others plan their weddings! You don’t have to give weddings up cold turkey! Heck, I still walk around the house in my dress sometimes (when my husband’s not home, he doesn’t know I do this!). haha. You’ll have plenty to plan in the future–vacations, birthday parties, etc.
Post # 15
@moonadea: I totally agree with this. I keep thinking “damn, if I put 1/20th as much effort into my everyday clothing/furniture/artwork as I am into this stuff that I’m using for ONE FREAKING DAY, my life would be so much more aesthetically satisfying.” So OP, think about redecorating a room/DIY projects, etc. Learn to cook interesting new things for your new husband! Have other couples over for dinner!
On a more substantive level, maybe try volunteering at an animal shelter or getting involved in some sort of cause you feel strongly about. Also do interesting things with your new husband. If you’re watching good films, going to concerts, etc. together, you’ll have lots to talk about and lots of little things to look forward to.
Post # 16
@strawberrybanana: I totally get that. Honestly, maybe you should start writing more seriously, about a subject you care about? Create your own readings “syllabus,” and start a blog about your thoughts about the books/topics/debates that matter to you. Or look for a local book group that’s actually serious about reading and discussing the books.
I also agree with PP about volunteering, although I know that’s hard to fit with a 9-5 job.
Anyway, I didn’t feel it as strongly as you, but I definitely felt a post-wedding letdown. It was just so wonderful having all the people I loved in one place, and then it was just OVER in a flash. It’s hard to let go of that!!