(Closed) happy to marry at a young age! not missing out!

posted 9 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 33
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

i get it but i also feel that some women should focus less on finding someone to marry and work on their own personal happiness and independance and good things will be drawn to them from their positive attitude – nothing is worse than a woman desperate to hook up because the alternative is being single

View original reply
@eloping:  Completely agree.

This post makes it sound as though the only thing one misses out on by getting married early is a chance to experience that mythical dating world we always see in the movies.  FYI, it doesn’t really exist.  What does exist in your 20s though is the chance to see the world, live on your own, become an independent, mature individual (without relying on someone else), and an opportunity to become a fully self-sufficient woman who can support herself financially and emotionally.  

OP I think your girlfriends will be much happier if they stop looking for a partner.  After I dumped my almost fiance in my early 20s, my life was a thousand times better – I got to move overseas, travel the world over many times, participate in an exclusive not-for-profit teaching organisation, and grow into a well-rounded person.  All things that wouldn’t have happened had I either gotten married young or been solely focused on finding a boyfriend. 

To each their own – I’m happy you’re so happy and I hope that continues throughout your lifetime.  You do miss out on opportunities in life though, that’s just the way it works.  I met DH at 29 and got married shortly before my 32nd birthday; I missed out on additional years with my DH and also missed out on the opportunity to enjoy a few years of married life before starting to think about children (we want 3 so we don’t have a whole lot of time to wait).  There are tradeoffs for every decision one makes and that’s just life. 

Post # 35
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

You are so right. Fiance and I are getting married in 12 days!! We have a child together and have lived together for over two years. We have went through a lot together and grown alot too. We were fortunate enough to grow together instead of apart through everything. I am 23 and he is 22 he is 3 months younger than I am. We are so excited to get married, and even though people have comments there will always be comments about something. It is what it is. I have heard some horror stories, but lucky for us all of our friends and family are very supportive!! One thing I will say is that it is hard sometimes if your friends arent inthe same relationship phase as you and they dont understand. 

Post # 36
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@Ree723:  I love your post!  Everyone acts like “dating around” or “partying” would be the only things you’re missing out on by marrying very young.  There’s a lot of other things that are more easily done/learned as a single woman.  But every path isn’t for everyone– as you said, there’s a tradeoff for every decision made. 

Once I stopped wanting to be in a relationship so bad & started focusing on myself, I attracted the one who was right for me.  I’m 28 & have been dating Fiance since I was 26.  I’ll be 29 when we get married– not super young, but I’m happy about the way things turned out.  That’s the most important thing.  Everyone has to make the best choice for their own life. 

Post # 37
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@SleepingWithNuns: I know she probably didn’t mean it to be taken that way, but that is how it comes across. When people tell you that you are missing out, they don’t mean you’re missing out on being sex crazed party animal.

Post # 38
Member
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

View original reply
@pandaboo: I get what you’re saying! People tend to criticize us getting married young. I also don’t feel like i’m missing out on anything at all. My friends always seem like they have some sort of guy drama and i’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that. I’m not giving up on my career or dreams. I’m away at school and so I’ve gotten that “independent” time in my life (Fi and I are long distance at the moment) I feel fulfilled, I don’t feel like I’m settling

Post # 39
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

View original reply
@Ree723: What does exist in your 20s though is the chance to see the world, live on your own, become an independent, mature individual (without relying on someone else), and an opportunity to become a fully self-sufficient woman who can support herself financially and emotionally.

And sometimes, you get to experience those things whether you’re single OR married.  I am lucky enough to have the best of both worlds.  DH and I don’t live together currently due to his job.  I live on my own, take care of myself, and we’re going to get to move all over the country, but I’m still married and have an incredible husband to love and cherish when we’re together.

I was supporting myself financially and emotionally before getting married too.  Just because you get married young doesn’t always mean you miss those chances.  Every woman’s situation is different. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 40
Member
5988 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

this could be read as if you haven’t found/aren’t trying to find your soulmate at a young age, you are a drunk whore

damn, i got it totally wrong, not only didnt i lose my v card until i was almost 30 but i was never a drunken hot mess either – i want a do over!

Post # 41
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

View original reply
@eloping: LoL!  Me too!

Post # 42
Member
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Some people act like if you don’t have a PhD, a high earning career and a full passport under your belt you have no business getting married.

Post # 43
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@pandaboo: Congratulations on finding a great guy and being so happy at a young age. ๐Ÿ™‚

I personally cannot speak from any experience on being engaged young… I was 26 in May this year when my Fiance proposed (he’s 30).

BUT… my Future Sister-In-Law was in her very early 20’s when she happily married her husband… and they have been together 10 years!

Whether you find the right person in your late-teens or late thirties, it’s something to be celebrated! ๐Ÿ™‚

I, for one, have always been the kind of person who likes to be in a relationship that means something as opposed to just dating around. I never knew true love until my fiance, and I have to say he’s my best friend! ๐Ÿ™‚ So, I do understand what you mean. To each their own, but all that dating junk can definitely be for the birds.

Post # 44
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@KatyElle: I agree! I see it so often on the bee. Ageism at it’s best. So many of the women come off as if your life was never meaningful if you didn’t wait until you were 30 to get married, you must not know anything about yourself and you’ve never seen or done anything as an independent woman. It’s really rude in my opinion.

Post # 46
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sent from my Android

sadly, im not surprised at how negative people are being on this thread. What happend to “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing”??? Op its awesome you found love!!!!! Im sure you are an inspiration to all of your friends. Also I would like to apologize on behalf of all the childish and mean bees who decided to belittle you instead of encourage and congratulate you!

The topic ‘happy to marry at a young age! not missing out!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors